A Royal Thief
by boreas1435
Summary: Sheik's life plan was simple: lie, cheat and steal. Not get blackmailed into ruling a kingdom. But that's what's happened, and as if that wasn't bad enough she also has to deal with a guardian who insults her instead of saying good morning and a prince who she is absolutely not allowed to fall in love with (it's a bit late for that). Still, at least only one person wants her dead.
1. Chapter 1: Blackmailed

A/N: Hello again! Long time no see. Anyway, I've finally found the time, willpower and inspiration to bash out what I think is a halfway-decent story (that's pretty impressive, considering I usually have at most one of those things). Do let me know if you like the style of this story - my writing's changed style I think, so I want to see if it works. Any reviews will make my day, week, and quite possibly my year. Enjoy!

* * *

' _Mommy? Where are you going?' the small blonde girl asks, rubbing her eyes drowsily. The tall woman by the door replies, but her answer is hard to make out. 'What if you don't come back?' the girl asks. The woman starts to reply, to comfort her daughter, when suddenly everything vanishes._

* * *

Sheik sat upright in bed, breathing heavily. _Just another dream_ , she told herself. She sighed wearily, getting out of bed. She had thought the dreams had been better recently, but she had dreamt the same thing for the last three nights, so maybe they were getting worse again. She hoped they weren't; she really couldn't afford to lose any more sleep.

She dragged herself upright in front of a small mirror, and sighed again. A few days ago she had woken up with dark bags under her eyes, and since then they had progressed to full sacks. It looked as though someone had punched her vigorously in the face, and she frowned before remembering that no-one would be seeing her face. The sun was nearly up, so she decided to give up on further sleep and get ready for the day.

She dressed quickly in a tight bodysuit and braided her long blonde hair carefully. Then she picked up a pile of white rags on the floor and started wrapping her entire head in the bandages, tucking her braid in so that only a few strands of golden hair were hanging out. She checked her appearance to make sure, but only her red eyes were visible. Perfect. Then she picked up a large pouch and left, pulling the door closed behind her. She didn't bother to lock it; it wasn't as though anyone would come all the way out here to break into a tiny, derelict house, not when there were so many tempting targets in the nearby city.

She set off towards the city, and before long she joined the stream of people heading across the massive drawbridge. As she moved through the crowd, entirely unnoticed, her quick fingers grabbed jewellery, purses, anything small and valuable. She tucked these away in her own pouch, which was velvet-lined to muffle the clinking of Rupees. She was alert constantly for anyone who looked twice at her or seemed to be paying special attention, but nobody did. That was the good thing about Castle Town: it was so full of weird and wonderful people (with, if she was honest, an abundance of weird and a scarcity of wonderful) that no-one would notice one more stranger. In her bodysuit and bandages it was hard enough to tell whether she was a man or a woman, let alone any other details about her, which suited her fine.

Of course, her bandages were distinctive, but that could be very useful. When someone realised that their purse had gone missing, if they happened to remember the heavily-bandaged individual who had crashed into them earlier that day, Sheik could be sure that the bandages would be all they would remember. So all she had to do to avoid detection was nip round a corner, take off the bandages, and paint an expression of injured innocence onto her face. It wasn't hard. Sheik had been born with a naturally angelic expression, and could do an excellent "little girl lost and alone" impression when required. It had gotten her out of more than one scrape in the past, and she knew it would continue to get her out of trouble for the rest of her life, or however long she continued to live as a thief, which was more or less the same thing.

Some part of her long-buried conscience objected to her criminal acts, but her brain quickly shoved that part off into the corner before she could take any notice of it. She was a thief out of necessity, not choice, although she had to admit there were days when stealing from the rich and stupid held a certain charm. It was certainly better than getting a proper job, especially since jobs for young women in a big city were extremely limited, and Sheik had no desire to involve herself in _that_ side of things, thank you very much.

And besides, as she told herself often, there were plenty of criminals out there who threatened, or injured, or murdered, all things she had never done. Compared to crimes like that, a little redistribution of wealth was no problem. It wasn't as though those rich people were going to use their money anyway. No, far better for it to fall into the hands of someone like her, who would put it to good use. When she looked at it that way, she was practically performing a civic duty. It was a pity that the soldiers in the town didn't see it the same way.

* * *

A while later she strolled down the wide market street in the west side of the city, feeling pleased with herself. She had spied a group of tourists in the square earlier, tourists being the thief's equivalent of a free lunch. These particular ones were from some tiny little town way out in the sticks, where the crime rate was essentially zero and everyone left their doors unlocked at night. People like that were a goddesssend for someone like Sheik, who was ready to take full advantage of their unguarded attitudes. After all, as far as they were concerned, there were no thieves in their hometown, so why would there be any in the big city?

After relieving several of them of large money-pouches, Sheik was beginning to feel weighed down, always a pleasant feeling for a hungry thief. So she had come straight to the market, where she could buy something to eat and also lose herself in the crowds, just in case one of the tourists happened to have seen her. She had removed her bandages now, tucking them safely away, so she knew there was very little chance of being recognised. Which is why her heart stopped beating when she suddenly heard the two worst words in any thief's language:

'Hey, you!' She half-turned, aware that it was a stupid thing to do, and her eyes widened as she saw one of the tourists from before, striding towards her with guards in tow. _Not good_ , she thought frantically. _Really not good._

Despite her panic, she forced herself to walk away slowly. Even though they had seen her, she could still lose herself in the crowd if she acted like everyone else. But the moment she started running, she could be seen easily. Running was also regarded (quite unfairly, in her opinion) by the city guards as an admission of guilt, because after all, why run if you're innocent? _Because the guards carry spears and they know how to use them_ , Sheik thought, but given that she had never been innocent of anything in her life, she wasn't in a position to take it up with the guards. So she shouldered her way through the crowd, keeping her head down. No such luck.

'That's him! Over there, with the bandages.' Right, well that hadn't worked. Time for plan B. Sheik broke into a sprint, her brain switching into pursuit mode while a small part rankled at the word "him". The crowd parted ahead of her and she shot through, keeping an eye out for any concealed alleys, always a thief's friend. As she ran past a fruit stall she grabbed a box and tossed it behind her, grinning at the satisfying thump as one of the guards slipped.

Up ahead she saw the large shape of a Goron and ducked, running straight between its legs without slowing. The Goron was far too slow to catch her, and looked around in confusion while the remaining guard tried to get past it. She skidded around a corner, racing down Castle Town's wide main street. She knew she was fast, and in the open she could probably outrun the guard, weighed down as he was by his armour. But as she heard a whistle blowing behind her, she started to doubt that. Soon there were more pounding feet, and a quick glance back showed that she was being chased by many more guards, some of whom were gaining. _Do you lot have nothing better to do than chase me all day?_ she thought angrily.

She spotted a small street on the left and shot down it, having no idea where it went. _Please don't be a dead end_ , she prayed. Clearly the goddesses either didn't like thieves or had a sense of humour, because the street abruptly ended in a solid wall. She looked around frantically, searching for any way out, but there was nothing and the guards were catching up. She glared at the wall, took a few steps back, then dashed up it and managed to catch the top with her fingertips.

Suddenly a hand grabbed her boot, trying to pull her down, but she kicked back hard and the resulting crack suggested she'd broken someone's nose. Immediately the hand released her and she scrambled over the wall, collapsing on the other side. She was in a large garden of some sort, clearly well-tended, but looking around she could see no entrances. The wall she had scaled surrounded the garden, sealing her in, but also keeping the guards out. She sighed in relief, safe for the moment.

As she relaxed and caught her breath, she started to wonder whose garden she had tumbled into. Something caught her eye, a building on the other side of the garden. She looked up and kept looking, higher and higher until she could see the very tops of the spires. She recognised it instantly: Hyrule Castle. Which means she'd landed in… She glared up at the sky, cursing the goddesses with every profanity she could think of, which took quite a while.

* * *

A high-pitched gasp attracted her attention, and her view snapped back down. A blonde-haired girl of about her age was standing there, looking rightly shocked at her language. Sheik looked her up and down, taking in the elegant dress, neat appearance, and – the crown on her head. _Damn_.

'Um… sorry about this, your Majesty,' she said as brightly as she could manage, getting to her feet and preparing to run. 'Just a little… er… training exercise, for the guards out there. I'll be gone in a minute, if you'd care to point me out of the garden…'

'You know, if I scream right now every soldier in the castle will come running,' the Princess said conversationally. Sheik's eyes narrowed. _I do not like her_ , she decided, scanning the garden behind her for a way out. 'You're a thief, aren't you? You know what happens to thieves, right?' Sheik rolled her eyes.

'Yeah, yeah, I'll rot in a dungeon for a thousand years, I know. But only if I get caught, and on that note…' Still no way out. And the Princess was right, one scream and Sheik would be hauled off to a room with no sunlight where she would have an unmatched opportunity to really get to know the castle rats. Before they ate her alive.

'On the other hand…' the Princess said thoughtfully, and suddenly Sheik was all ears. The other girl looked at her for a few moments, as if sizing her up, then nodded in satisfaction. 'You'll do, I suppose. Come with me.' She grabbed Sheik's wrist in a grip of iron, but the thief didn't try to escape anyway. She didn't like the Princess' tone, but if it would keep her out of the dungeon she was willing to play along. For now, at least. _After all_ , she thought, _how bad can it be?_ She sighed as she immediately answered herself. _She's the Princess. Very bad indeed._ _This really isn't going to end well_ , she thought morosely.

* * *

The Princess led Sheik straight towards the castle, which was no surprise, but she seemed anxious to avoid the guards they encountered, which was surprising. Still, it gave Sheik hope. If the other girl intended to go back on her word and have Sheik arrested, it wouldn't matter if the guards saw them. The fact that she was being so secretive probably meant that she had something else in mind. Although what that was, Sheik didn't want to imagine.

Once inside Sheik was dragged along several long corridors, until the Princess paused outside a room, looked around, and shoved her inside before following her in. Sheik was uncomfortably aware of the click of the lock, but she was even more uncomfortably aware of the tall woman standing in front of her. Sheik had never seen her before, but instantly she could work out one thing about her. The eye symbols on her clothes and face were a dead giveaway, even before Sheik saw her real eyes. Blood red, just like hers. This woman was a Sheikah.

'Oh, that's Impa,' the Princess said casually, as if having a highly-trained warrior in your bedroom was a matter of course. Then again, she was royalty. Maybe it was a matter of course for her. Sheik was vaguely aware, via some long-ignored ancestral memory, that Sheikah warriors traditionally served the Royal Family. Her mother had served them, although indirectly. Despite, or more likely because of that, Sheik had never had the slightest desire to spend her life serving someone else, especially not a spoilt brat like the Princess. To be fair, she had never met the girl before, but "spoilt brat" was a reasonably safe guess.

'Don't worry, she's not here to kill you or anything,' the Princess reassured Sheik.

'You know, the though hadn't even crossed my mind until you said that,' she replied dryly, earning her a glare from Impa.

'I'm here in case you get any foolish ideas about escaping,' she informed her.

'Oh, you don't need to worry about that,' Sheik muttered, glancing around the room. It was true, before she had seen Impa escape was the first thing on her mind, and the large and more importantly open windows in the room were very inviting, even if there was probably a long drop below. But as soon as she had seen Impa, any thoughts of escape had evaporated. Sheik might be able to outsmart and outmanoeuvre the Princess, but a Sheikah warrior was another matter entirely.

'Your Majesty,' Impa said reverentially, turning to the Princess. 'Are you sure? I mean… really, her?' Sheik raised her eyebrows, offended. She had no idea what they were talking about, and she was pretty sure that whatever the Princess wanted her for was something she didn't want to do anyway, but she was still offended. It was the principle of the thing. But the Princess nodded, turning to Impa.

'Yes, I'm sure. She looks reasonably similar to me already, so you won't need much magic. She's also a thief, which – yes, I know you disapprove,' she said, raising a hand to stall the other woman's objections. 'But she must be reasonably smart to do that, so she should cope with this. And besides, we need someone we can effectively blackmail into doing this. A thief fits the bill.'

'Um…' Sheik said, raising a hand. She still didn't have the first clue what they were saying, but she had heard worrying words such as "blackmail". More worryingly, she knew that she was a prime target for something like that. She would do an awful lot to avoid being thrown in a dungeon, so the Princess had a lot of leverage.

'We don't have much time,' the other girl said in a brisk manner. 'Do you know who I am?'

'Yes,' Sheik said sulkily.

'Good. You may call me Zelda. What may we call you?'

'Sheik. But before you get any ideas, I'm not planning on being here long enough to get on a first name basis.'

'You will be here as long as we say, unless you would rather spend an extremely long time in the dungeons,' Impa said sharply. Sheik grumbled to herself, but said nothing.

'Fine then. Sheik. I need you to do something for me.'

'No,' Sheik said automatically, sighing when Impa glared at her. 'Sorry, reflex. I'm not used to being around royalty.'

'Clearly,' Impa sneered, and Sheik glared back once she was sure Impa wasn't looking.

'I need to go away for a while,' Zelda continued. 'It doesn't matter where, or why. Even if I trusted you more than an inch, which I really don't, I still couldn't tell you. Suffice it to say that this is a matter of national, and even international importance.'

'Yeah, that's nice, but I really couldn't care less,' Sheik said truthfully. She had about the same understanding of international affairs as a fish does of mountain climbing, and about the same inclination to learn more about it. Zelda folded her arms.

'Then it's a good thing you don't need to know! All you need to know is that I'm going away for… a few days, let's say. And I can't tell anyone that I'm going, for the reasons I just said. Obviously if anyone found out that the Princess herself had suddenly gone missing, everyone would panic and start looking everywhere for me. It would be pandemonium, and I can't have that. So the obvious solution is to have an imposter. Someone who looks like me, acts like me, carries out my duties and fools everyone into thinking they're me until I can come back and take over again.'

'Ah,' Sheik said, holding up a finger. 'Let me stop you right there. I think I can see where you're going with this. Well, I hate to ruin such a well-thought out plan, but there's a flaw.'

'And that is?' Impa said with a hint of a growl. Sheik swallowed hard, and looked at Zelda instead.

'I'm not doing this! What if I get caught? Yes, I don't want to be punished for stealing, but I'm pretty sure the punishment for impersonating the Princess is worse! That's treason! I'd be executed for that! At least if I'm caught as a thief, I get a nice cosy dungeon and all the mould I can scrape off the walls!' Zelda smiled humourlessly.

'Oh? Well, as you may, or probably don't know, I can decide the sentences for criminals. You're right, normally the punishment for theft is a nice long prison sentence, but if I'm so inclined I can have that upgraded. Plus, you broke into the castle, into my room no less.'

'I didn't-' Sheik began, but faltered. There was nothing she could do here against the superior authority of the Princess, and she knew it. Tyranny was a terrible thing to be on the receiving end of.

'I would say that's punishable by execution, wouldn't you?' Zelda continued, turning to Impa, who nodded with what Sheik considered to be an unnecessary amount of glee. 'So whether you're tried for treason or theft, the punishment is going to be the same. And at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter what crime is on the death warrant. It's all the same to you.'

'Alright, alright!' Sheik said hastily, rubbing her neck. 'You're a complete bitch, I get it. So either I pretend to be you for an indeterminate amount of time, and in doing so I would put the person I care most about - me - in considerable danger, or I refuse and I'm dead this time tomorrow.' Zelda stared up at the ceiling for a moment, her lips moving slightly as she considered this.

'Yes, I think that about covers it,' she said brightly.

'But, but,' Sheik stuttered, trying to find a loophole. 'How do I even know I can trust you? How do I know you won't use me for your plan, then arrest me as a thief when you don't need me anymore?'

'You don't know. That's the fun of it,' Impa said with a smile. Zelda sighed, looking at Impa and shaking her head slightly.

'You have my word. That's the deal. If you do this, when I come back we'll just forget you ever stole anything and you can go free. Of course, if you go back to your criminal ways once this is over I won't protect you if you're caught, but that's your problem.' Sheik sighed, defeated, and Zelda took advantage of this. 'So, we have a deal?' Sheik muttered something under her breath, too low for Zelda to hear. However, Impa's superior hearing picked it up, and her face darkened.

'How dare you use such language in the presence of royalty!' she said, glaring at Sheik.

'The fact that you're offended only proves that you know what that word means,' Sheik pointed out, making Impa blush slightly and not improving her temper.

'What word?' Zelda asked, confused. Sheik repeated it, to Impa's horror, but Zelda's expression didn't change from polite puzzlement. 'What does it mean?' she asked, and again Sheik told her. Zelda's face went through an interesting array of shades, from green through red and finally ending up purple with horror and embarrassment.

'Where did you even learn something like that?' she gasped, and Sheik grinned but said nothing. The look on Impa's face clearly told her that she had said quite enough.

'Ahem,' Impa said politely, trying to bring Zelda's attention back to the situation at hand. 'So it looks like the… criminal will agree to this task.'

'The criminal has a name,' Sheik muttered, but this time she was careful to make sure that even Impa's keen hearing couldn't detect it.

'From that kind of language, I'm not sure what she's agreeing to!' Zelda said, still blushing heavily. She took a few breaths, and composed herself. 'Yes, I think we're sorted then. You should cast the magic, and then I'll go.'

'Wait, isn't Impa going with you?' Sheik asked, her heart sinking. What could possibly make her situation worse? An irascible, grumpy Sheikah warrior who just happened to hate her guts hanging around her the whole time.

'Of course I'm staying!' Impa snapped. 'Unlike _you_ , Zelda can take care of herself. You'll need my help if you're going to fool Zelda's court. And besides, you don't really think we trust you, do you? We all know that the moment I turn my back you're going to try to escape!' Sheik brought out her "injured innocent" expression, but her heart wasn't in it, since that was exactly what she had been planning. Counting on, in fact.

 _How can I possibly impersonate the Princess? I'm me and she's…. that! We're nothing like each other! Even if Impa uses some hocus pocus to make me look like her - and can we just discuss the ethical issues with that - and even if she coaches me on how to act, no-one's going to be fooled by me in a million years!_ But it was too late. Impa was advancing towards Sheik with a mad gleam in her eye, and before the thief could react there was a bright flash of white light.

* * *

'Whatever that was, I will not be going through it again,' Zelda's voice said. Suddenly there was a gasp in the same voice, as Sheik realised that the voice had come out of her mouth. She looked down at herself, and groaned. She was now an exact replica of Zelda, except that she was still in her bodysuit, which didn't fit her anywhere near as well anymore.

'You look…' the real Zelda said, wondering whether a compliment was the right way to go. '…accurate,' she finished, deciding to go with honesty. Sheik just muttered another unrepeatable word under her breath, earning her a hard glare from Impa. 'Well, I'd better get going then,' Zelda said, hugging Impa. 'The sooner I leave, the sooner I return and you can go back to your criminal ways,' she said with a sniff, shuddering slightly as she looked at Sheik. The other girl couldn't tell if the shudder was because Zelda now had a doppelganger, or if it was due to Zelda's loathing of her. Either way, she didn't really care. She was stuck looking like Zelda now, and that hammered the final nail into the coffin of escape plans. Now she just wanted to get this over and done with. Zelda had said it would be a few days, right? 'Try to be careful,' Zelda said in a despairing voice as she left, knowing full well that she was being ignored. As soon as Zelda was out the door, Sheik collapsed onto a nearby couch, stretching out and closing her eyes.

'What do you think you're doing?' Impa asked, raising an impressively arched eyebrow. _Ah yes. I forgot about her._

'I'm tired, therefore I am resting,' Sheik said, obeying one of what she thought of as the Three Laws of Sheik, the other two being: "I am hungry, therefore I am eating," and, "You are rich and annoying, therefore I am stealing from you".

'You don't have any idea what it means to be a princess, do you?' Impa asked.

'Why would I? Ow!' Sheik said angrily as Impa dragged her up from the couch.

'First you need to get changed. Zelda would never wear anything like that.'

'Then what does she wear?' Sheik asked with rising dread, vaguely recalling Zelda wearing something pink and frilly. She shuddered at the thought. She objected to dresses on general principle, and anything you couldn't run in she considered to be less an item of clothing and more an item of decoration. Pink and frilly was just the dog turd on top of the whole unappetising cake. But when Impa pulled her into Zelda's bedroom and started rummaging in a closet, Sheik sighed. Something told her she was going to end up wearing a dress.

Impa finally found a suitable one, which to Sheik's relief was blue with a minimum of frills. It was long though, and she knew she'd trip up before she even made it down the corridor. Maybe this was part of Impa's plan to stop her escaping? Sheik took off her bodysuit, not bothering to ask Impa to leave. She wasn't bashful and she doubted if Impa would do as she asked anyway. Finally she looked sufficiently regal, and even Impa had to nod in reluctant approval.

'I suppose you look the part. Now you need to start acting it.'

'Meaning?' Sheik asked as she was towed back out into the other room. Impa led her over to a desk piled high with papers and sat her down firmly in a chair.

'You're in charge of an entire kingdom now. That means a lot of paperwork.' Sheik lifted a few documents without enthusiasm.

'Do I need to sign all of these?'

'Read _then_ sign. You can read, I presume?' Sheik glared at the older Sheikah.

'Yes!' she said defiantly. Her mother had made sure that Sheik had gotten the best education she could provide, alone in their little house, which meant that Sheik had been reading her mother's old books for as long as she could remember. But the fact that she could read did not in any way mean that she wanted to trawl through the heaps of paper. 'Hey, where are you going with that?' she asked suddenly as Impa picked up her bodysuit.

'Relax, I'm putting it away. It'll be useful to have something which fits you when you change back,' she said, going into the bedroom.

'What do you mean?' Sheik asked, following her.

'Oh, did I forget to mention that? My magic doesn't work at night. From the moment the sun sets at night until the moment it rises again the next morning, you'll be back in your own body.'

* * *

Sheik sat at the desk, trying to concentrate, but she was too busy thinking about what Impa had told her earlier. While it was comforting to know that she wasn't going to be stuck looking like Zelda the entire time (and her brain had already filed this information away under E for Escape), she also couldn't help but imagine a thousand scenarios where things went wrong. If one of the maids came in too early one morning, or if she had to be at an official banquet after sunset…

Impa had assured her that things would work out, that she would adjust the royal schedule so that Sheik only had to see other people during daylight hours, but she was still worried. She was mildly surprised that she was so anxious about keeping up this ruse, but reminded herself that if things went wrong Zelda got a slap on the wrist, but she would most likely be executed for treason. She shuddered just thinking about it.

'I hope you're working over there,' Impa said, looking up from her book. Sheik rolled her eyes, trying to get comfortable in the hard, wooden chair, but it was impossible. She had already tried putting her feet up on the desk, but Impa had told her off because apparently it wasn't "ladylike". She had to be "ladylike" now. _Ugh._ Instead of her discomfort, she tried to focus on the document she had been trying to read without much success.

Apparently this was Zelda's only job for the day, read and sign, read and sign. This particular document was about… turnip imports, she decided after a while. Not because she was reading particularly thoroughly, but because the word "turnip" came up an otherwise unreasonable number of times. Did she know about turnip imports? No. Did she want to know about turnip imports? Absolutely not. But was she going to be forced to learn about turnip imports? It looked that way. She sighed.

'How does Zelda manage to do this?' she wondered aloud.

'She doesn't waste so much energy complaining,' Impa replied snidely. Sheik turned around to glare at her, but the other Sheikah was still looking at her book. She sighed again, heavily. She couldn't do this, not without her brain turning to treacle and dripping out her ears, which she wanted to avoid if at all possible. She glanced at Impa out of the corner of her eye, but she still wasn't looking. So Sheik quickly grabbed a pen, copied Zelda's flourishing signature onto the bottom of the page, and moved onto the next document. Something about crop rotation. _Who knew this kingdom was so big on agriculture?_ Sheik wondered as she scanned it briskly then signed and put it on the "finished" pile. She didn't even bother to skim the next sheet, or the one after that, and soon the pile to her right was growing steadily.

'You'd better be reading all of those,' Impa said without looking up.

'It's called skim-reading,' Sheik replied, signing off another sheet. But before she could place it on the pile Impa snatched it from her hand.

'Really? Because you just signed the menu from last week's banquet.' Sheik glared and took the piece of paper back, crumpling it up and turning away so Impa wouldn't see her embarrassment. 'Some princess you are,' Impa said with a sniff.

'I'm sorry, I didn't realise being a princess meant doing the filing!' Sheik replied. 'I thought there'd be more, you know, curtseying, having my hand kissed, meeting foreign princes! The fun stuff!'

'If you ever do grow up, which I doubt, you will learn that life, in general, contains very little fun stuff and an awful lot of filing,' Impa said, but her tone was absentminded, as if her insults were reflexive rather than a targeted attack. They probably were, Sheik realised. _She just insults me automatically._

'You know, I'm sure it wouldn't kill you to be a little bit nicer to me,' she said as she made a great show of reading the next document before signing. 'After all, from the sound of it we're going to be spending a lot of time together for the next few days. So fewer insults would be nice. After all, a girl could really take offence to that sort of thing.'

'Girl? Hah!' Impa snorted derisively. 'Looking at you, you'd never know.'

'Funny you should say that, since I look exactly like Zelda,' Sheik commented without looking up. Impa was silent for a moment.

'You know what I mean,' she said grumpily. Sheik looked down at the next sheet, trying to read it, but it was so full of complicated legal jargon that it might as well be in a different language. She gave up and signed anyway, but again Impa took the sheet from her. She sighed wearily. 'Look, do you have any idea what any of these documents mean?'

'No clue!' Sheik said cheerfully, signing another sheet. Impa sighed, and moved over to the pile of documents which had yet to be signed.

'Sign. Here. Now,' she said, gesturing to the bottom of a sheet.

'Why?' Sheik asked, although she did it anyway. She had already decided that the path to a long life did not include disobeying Impa.

'Partly because I know what this means and you don't, partly because unlike you I actually care that you sign the right things rather than just random sheets of paper, but mostly because I said so.' Sheik shrugged, signing the next proffered paper. You couldn't argue with logic like that.

* * *

'Finally!' Sheik said with a groan, falling off her chair and onto the soft carpet. She would have been quite happy to lie there for at least a day and a half, but Impa, as ever, had other plans.

'Do you know how long it would have taken Zelda to finish that pile, without help?' she asked, raising an eyebrow.

'No,' Sheik said fervently, but she was ignored. As usual.

'An hour. At most.'

'Good for her.' Sheik glanced up at the clock, squinting in the fading light. It had taken the two of them almost four hours to finish the paperwork, although admittedly her complaining hadn't helped things along. 'Who knew being princess was so much work?' she asked the world at large. Impa thought about this.

'Well, Zelda obviously, me, most of her advisors, in fact practically everyone in the castle, and now I think about it probably everyone in the town too.'

'So, everyone except me,' Sheik translated.

'Pretty much,' Impa agreed. Suddenly there was a knock at the door, and Sheik sat upright.

'Your Majesty?' a polite voice asked outside. Impa looked up, alarmed, then marched over to Sheik and hauled her upright.

'Hey! Watch it!' she grumbled but Impa ignored her, straightening her dress.

'There. Now you look halfway presentable, which is more than you've done all day.' Sheik folded her arms and prepared a retort, but the effect was somewhat spoiled when Impa walked straight past her, pausing by the door. 'It's the maid, bringing your dinner. She brings Zelda every meal, every day, so she knows what the Princess is like. If you act out of character she'll notice, so play along!' Sheik opened her mouth, about to protest that she had no idea what _in_ character was for Zelda, never mind _out_ of character, when Impa flung open the door.

'Thank you. The Princess is very busy at the moment, but please leave the tray there,' she said, gesturing to the table. Realising that she should probably act busy, Sheik hurriedly sat back down at the desk and grabbed one of the sheets she had just finished signing, pretending to reread it. She held her breath as the maid came over, placing a heavy tray on the edge of the desk.

But to Sheik's surprise and horror she stayed there, staring straight ahead with her hands behind her back. _Is she expecting me to say something? Does Zelda usually say something? What am I supposed to do?_ She looked frantically over at Impa, who stood behind the maid. The Sheikah contorted her face into an exaggerated smile, and Sheik did the same before realising that her expression was a pained grimace, and quickly adjusted it.

'Thank you,' she told the maid as regally as she could manage. The maid smiled back and bobbed a curtsey before scurrying out.

'There, that wasn't so hard, was it?' Impa said as she closed the door.

'You didn't tell me I'd have to talk to her!' Sheik replied, getting up. 'I thought you said you'd tell me what to do?' Impa rolled her eyes.

'All you did was smile and say thank you. Surely that shouldn't have been too hard a concept to grasp, even for someone of your extremely limited intellectual and social ability.' Sheik stood there, mouth open, as she tried to scrape together enough brain cells to come up with a suitably scathing response. Impa waited, looking sympathetic. 'Nothing?' she asked after a minute or two.

'No,' Sheik muttered.

'Well, if you come up with a halfway-decent insult in the middle of the night, please do not hesitate to wake me,' Impa told her in a tone dripping with sarcasm. She turned towards the door, and Sheik's heart leapt.

'You're going?' she asked, trying to keep the eagerness from her voice.

'Yes. But I wouldn't try to escape, if I were you.'

'What, me? Escape? Pfft. As if,' Sheik said scornfully, cursing internally. As soon as she had seen Impa leaving her thief's instincts had instantly gone back online. Now was her best chance to get out of here.

'I'm glad you're not planning anything, because believe me, it will not end well for you.'

'Yeah, like anyone's going to arrest Zelda,' Sheik said with a laugh.

'You're right,' Impa told her, and the confidence in her tone made Sheik narrow her eyes. 'They wouldn't arrest Zelda. But you're not going to look like Zelda for much longer.' Sheik turned, and glared at the setting sun. She had forgotten about that. 'I will return before sunrise tomorrow, to help you prepare for the day,' Impa informed her. 'In the meantime… well, I don't really care what you do. As long as you're still in this room tomorrow morning.'

 _We'll see about that_ , Sheik thought deviously as Impa left, locking the door behind her. _We'll just wait and see._

* * *

A/N: That's all, folks! Hope you enjoyed that. Next chapter will be up tomorrow! And, as ever, any reviews are greatly appreciated.


	2. Chapter 2: Deer in a Landslide

_I'm not going anywhere._ Sheik sighed as she came to the realisation. The windows were still open, but there was a three-storey drop outside, with only the garden below to break her fall. The grass might have been soft, but from that distance it wouldn't do much to cushion her landing. There weren't even any convenient trees that an agile thief might be able to jump into and slide down. Sheik sighed. Zelda's room was clearly designed to be impregnable, whether you were coming in or going out. She was struck by a sudden thought, and ran into the bedroom.

'Damn!' she muttered. In defiance of the best fairytale tradition, there was only one sheet on the bed, and it was so thin that it looked as though it was seriously considering tearing itself in two just under the pressure of her gaze. She half-heartedly tried the door again, but it was locked tight, and a quick sweep of the room yielded nothing that could be used to pick the lock.

Out of ideas, Sheik sat down and ate her dinner. After all, it wouldn't do to let good food go to waste. It was surprisingly good, much better than the meagre rations Sheik usually bought (stole), but then again she was a Princess now. It was only fair that royalty got better meals than common thieves, otherwise what was the point?

As she ate, she watched the sun setting outside. Any second now, Impa's magic was going to wear off and she would be back in her own body. She stirred restlessly; sitting there waiting for it to happen made her feel like she was just accepting her defeat. Trying to distract herself, she rose from her self-pity and headed into the bedroom, planning to change back into her old clothes so that she would at least be comfortable when the transformation happened. She started to wonder what it would feel like when she changed back. That morning she had felt nothing more than a vaguely unpleasant sensation, like when a sneeze couldn't quite be sneezed out and decided to travel up the nose instead, but reversing the magic might be different.

As she entered the room, the sun disappeared over the horizon and the last ray shone straight in through the window, blinding her. She blinked a few times to clear her vision, and when she had recovered she looked down at herself in surprise. Everything felt different, but it was a good different. She turned to the mirror, and restrained herself from whooping with joy when she recognised her own face. Impa's magic had worn off for the night, and she was back to being herself again. She quickly rummaged in the chest at the end of the bed, sighing in relief when her fingers brushed the familiar bandages.

She changed out of Zelda's dress and back into her bodysuit as quickly as she could, enjoying the feeling of the familiar material. It was much more constrictive than the dress, but she felt better for having it. Then she sighed, and laid back on the bed. It had been an exhausting day now she thought about it, and the bed was soft and warm. She knew she should be trying to find a way to escape, but with a stomach full of good food the thought of dodging the guards, sneaking out of the castle and somehow making her way all the way back to her tiny, damp, draughty house didn't seem so inviting.

 _Maybe it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to play along for a few days_ , she thought. _After all, Zelda will be back soon, and after that I'll be completely free. Even if I manage to get away now, I'm still wanted for theft and probably treason too. And I wouldn't put it past Impa to already know my address._ Yes, she certainly suspected that Impa had hidden depths, and the Sheikah didn't exactly look shallow to start with. Sheik sighed, but she knew she wasn't going to argue with herself. _Just a few days_ , she thought. _I'm sure it'll all be fine._

* * *

'Rise and shine, your Majesty!' someone said with what Sheik considered to be unreasonable brightness given that she had only been asleep for ten minutes. She opened her eyes, and groaned as she saw the hint of pink on the horizon that meant it was nearly dawn. This meant that she had in fact been asleep for close to ten hours, but there's nothing worse than having slept for ten hours and feeling like you've only slept for ten minutes. Well, there are one or two things which are worse, things which Sheik reminded herself of as let her eyes drift shut again. Execution, for instance. Or being thrown in a dungeon to rot. And on that subject, she really hoped that it was Impa who had woken her. Otherwise she was in serious trouble, given that she was lying in Zelda's bed but still in her own body. She cracked open one eye, verified that it was in fact the other Sheikah, and closed it again. She had mixed emotions about seeing Impa. Relief, certainly, but mixed with a certain amount of deep-seated hatred and considerable dread as to what Impa had planned for the day.

'I _said_ , rise and shine! Start rising and get shining, now!' Sheik sighed, but she didn't want to start the day by fighting with Impa. A black eye was the last thing she needed right now.

'Please say there's no more filing today,' she begged as she sat up, rubbing her head.

'No, but that's not a good thing,' Impa said ominously as she picked up the dress from where Sheik had dumped it yesterday and handing it to her.

'I fail to see what could be worse than filing,' Sheik said, her voice muffled as she changed.

'Try: a meeting with the Royal Council, a group comprised of the smartest men in the kingdom, nearly all of whom have known Zelda since she was a child.' Sheik thought about this.

'Nope, still better than filing. And why are they all men?' Impa sighed.

'We really do not have time to discuss the intrinsically misogynistic nature of the feudal system before breakfast.' Sheik grumbled, but brightened up when she saw a plate of eggs and toast waiting for her. She ate greedily, all too aware of Impa's scrutiny.

'What?' she asked, spraying egg across the table. 'I'm hungry.'

'So I see,' she said, but Sheik couldn't work out what her tone was meant to imply. She shrugged, deciding that it was too early in the morning for implicit signals. If Impa wanted to tell her something she would have to spell it out, preferably in words of no more than one syllable.

'So how do I get out of this meeting?' she asked as she ate.

'You don't. Zelda attends them every week, like clockwork. Now, I don't have the time to explain everything you need to know, and you don't have the brains to understand it, so you're going to have to bluff your way through this. The Council are mostly old men, who will quite happily stand there reading off the sheet in front of them come rain, shine, or dragon attack. All you need to do is nod along and make the occasional noise of assent. If anything tricky comes up, I'll try to get you out of it.' Sheik was about to thank Impa for this unexpected assistance when she remembered that Impa wasn't doing it for her.

 _No, all she cares about is Little Miss Perfect Princess Zelda. Ugh. Who could be so devoted to someone like that?_ She sighed as her brain waved a treacherous flag. _I'm supposed to be devoted to her. After all, I'm a Sheikah. It's my duty to obey the Royal Family._ She stopped, ran that last thought past herself again, and shook her head. _I'm getting soft in the head! Duty? Hah! When have I ever cared about that?_

'Are you quite done muttering to yourself under your breath?' Impa asked, looking vaguely worried about Sheik's mental state.

'Yes,' she said sullenly to hide her embarrassment.

'Good. The sun should be up at any minute, and as soon as you're back in Zelda's body we should go. The Council meeting starts at dawn.' Sheik sighed, waiting as the sun rose and the magic took hold again. 'Ready?' Impa asked, holding open the door.

'No,' Sheik replied.

'That's the spirit.'

* * *

'…and I think that concludes the report. Does this meet with Her Majesty's approval?' There was silence up and down the long oak table. Impa coughed discreetly and, when that got no response, kicked Sheik hard on the shin.

'Ow! Er, I mean, yes, that does meet with Her Majesty's approval,' Sheik recovered quickly. She was doing her best to focus on the mind-numbingly tedious meeting, but she was tired, bored out of her mind, and she was easily distracted at the best of times. For the past few minutes she had been utterly absorbed in the speaker's beard, which was quite frankly astonishing.

For a start, there was so much of it. It tumbled down onto the table, despite the man's frequent attempts to push it over his shoulder. On one occasion he had shoved it with such force that it had swung right around his head and smacked him in the face on its way past. It was the kind of beard that usually requires a second, much smaller man to run ahead of the beardee and hold the hair out of the way. At one point the beard had moved slightly, revealing what Sheik was sure was a bird's nest somewhere in the middle, and later on she had definitely seen something flying out of the mass of hairs.

'Then I think we have only one more matter to discuss,' someone else said, 'the matter of the Goron deal. Now, as we expected the Goron Chief has accepted the deal, and his ambassador will arrive here tomorrow to get the Royal Signature on the deal.' Sheik marvelled at the sheer volume of capital letters involved in this meeting. There was Her Majesty, and Princess Zelda, and of course endless Royal Somethings. The most impressive thing, in her opinion, was how you could hear each and every one of the letters.

'And, if I might ask, what does Her Majesty think of this deal?' an old man with a neatly-trimmed beard asked, the capital letters tinkling into place. Sheik stared at him. She had heard the word "flummoxed" before, on one occasion when she had robbed a better class of idiot, but she had never fully understood its meaning until today. But now she was reasonably certain that the dictionary definition of that word was simply: the state of being one is placed in when one is asked a question by one's advisors that one really ought to know the answer to, but in fact one does not have the foggiest idea what in Din's name the bloody man is on about. Antonyms: certain, self-assured, confident. Synonyms: none, because there is no feeling quite like being utterly flummoxed.

'Um…' Sheik croaked, mind racing. _WhatdoIdowhatdoIdowhatdoIdo?_ _What's this deal? Who is this Goron? Help me, somebody!_ To her immense relief, Impa's talents apparently included telepathy. Having enjoyed Sheik's panic for a long, painful minute, she coughed discreetly and stepped forward.

'Her Majesty has a lot on her mind at the present time, and it is possible that the finer points of this particular deal have temporarily escaped her.' _Along with the medium-fine points, the not-so-fine points, and the extra-thick points_ , Sheik thought. There was a certain amount of discontented muttering, but amongst it Sheik could make out encouraging phrases such as "very busy", "lots of deals going on", "it was a while ago", and "surely she has enough space in that tiny head of hers to remember some of this? The deal was made last week!" On reflection, that last phrase wasn't so encouraging. She glanced down the long table to see who had said it, and frowned. The speaker was a very tall, slim man with an elongated neck, rising to a pale blue face with glowing orange eyes. Sheik motioned for Impa to come closer, and whispered,

'I don't want to alarm you, but I think a zombie somehow got into the castle.' Impa frowned too, following Sheik's gaze.

'That's not a zombie, it's Zant. One of the nobles. Although frankly a zombie might be better.' Sheik was about to ask what exactly she meant by that when Zant stood up to address the room.

'While I completely understand that Her Majesty is so very busy, surely she at least has an opinion? I mean, we aren't exactly asking for much,' Zant said, looking around at the other nobles and smirking when he got a few nods. Sheik's glare deepened. Zant's tone dripped courteousness, but there was something incredibly oily about his words. Come to think of it, there was something incredibly oily about the man himself. After only a few minutes in his presence Sheik wanted to go have a bath. Impa looked down at Sheik, her expression saying, _I can't help you here._ Sheik sighed. _Looks like we're bluffing our way out of this one. Well, nothing I haven't done before._ Having mentally rolled up her sleeves and cracked her knuckles, she took a deep breath.

'May I just begin by saying how much I value your complete understanding of my situation,' she said with a gracious nod towards Zant. 'However, at the moment I have a great many things to consider, and I am afraid that this deal simply is not foremost in my mind. Why, in the last day alone I have had to make vital decisions in the areas of turnip imports, crop rotation, and the quite simply deplorable rise in crimes including, but not limited to, confidence scams, robberies and petty thefts, taking place in our very city!'

 _Thank you Nayru for the gift of speed-reading_ , she thought at images of hastily-signed documents flashed through her mind. She rattled off a few more phrases which jumped out at her from her memory, finishing with, 'and of course that most important duty, that of giving the Royal Consent to the menu for the next banquet.' That got a laugh, and Sheik allowed herself to relax slightly. Anyone who knew anything about the Princess' duties would know that all she had had to do was sign off on those things, but she relied on the fact that no-one did actually know what it was that Zelda did all day. In her experience, in any large organisation there was at most one person who knew what everyone else actually did, and in the castle that person was Impa.

Adding in the quip about the lunch had been a good choice too. Now the advisors were more focused on the fact that it would be time for lunch after the meeting, and less on the fact that their Princess clearly had no idea what she was doing. Not everyone was fooled however. Zant still looked suspicious, and Sheik wondered if he was going to try again. To dissuade him, she raised her hands for silence.

'However, rest assured that I will avail myself of all pertinent information about the deal, and by the time the Goron ambassador walks through those doors he will find me an exemplarily well-informed individual.' Sheik was surprised at how easily phrases such as "avail myself", "pertinent information" and in particular "exemplarily well-informed" rolled off her tongue. Maybe poshness was catching. Although Sheik was reasonably sure that "poshness" wasn't a real word.

The general consensus seemed to be that the meeting was adjourned, and the advisers started to drift out of the room. Sheik got up too, and was about to leave when Impa coughed quietly and looked past her. She turned around, her expression hardening slightly when she saw that Zant was still there. He waited politely until the other advisors had left, pretending to examine a slight chip in the wood of the long table.

'An excellent performance, your Majesty,' he said once only the three of them were left.

'Performance? I'm afraid I don't know what you mean,' Sheik said as haughtily as she could manage.

'Don't you?' Zant asked, without offering any further explanation. He started to come closer, but Sheik managed to stand her ground with an effort. Ye gods, she hated this man. And she'd only known him for ten minutes, which was impressive even for her. She reminded herself that Impa was right behind her, and would stop Zant from doing anything, but she was still nervous. Not least because she wasn't entirely sure what "anything" might mean with this strange man.

'You know, I had a very interesting experience once,' he said conversationally. Sheik raised an eyebrow, trying to convey the impression that, while she was in no doubt whatsoever that Zant had in fact had this experience, at the present time she could not care less about it. 'Yes, it was in the mountains in the north. There was a landslide there, you see. And in between all the chaos, I could not help but notice a deer. It was caught in the tumbling rocks, but to my surprise it was doing rather well. It was leaping from stone to shifting stone, always just managing to keep abreast of the tide. Do you know what happened to that deer, your Majesty?' he asked, the corner of his mouth curling up. On anyone else the expression would have been a smile, but on Zant it merely exposed his pointed teeth.

'Pray tell,' Sheik said, hoping the hairs rising on the back of her neck weren't visible.

'It was crushed. Oh, it was doing fine, right up until it lost its footing. One tiny little mistake, off-balance for the merest second. But it was enough. In that second, the deer was carried away with the tide, and crushed.' Sheik couldn't stop the shiver that ran down her spine. There was no doubt that Zant saw her as that deer, just managing to surf the tide of crushing rocks, always just being quick enough to divert suspicion. But one mistake, and she would be crushed. Zant would see to that.

'I fail to see how this is relevant,' Impa said sharply, and Sheik breathed out a sigh of relief as she remembered that Impa was still there.

'Do you? Well, that is a shame. I'm sure _Her Majesty_ understands why I am telling her this story,' Zant said, leering at Sheik. 'But what am I saying?' he said suddenly, his manner changing instantly from monster under the bed to model civil servant. 'I can see that I have taken up far too much of Her Majesty's valuable time. Forgive me, I don't know exactly why I felt the need to share that story with you. Perhaps something in this meeting made me think of that anecdote, but I cannot think what that something might have been. Do excuse me.' He hurried out of the room without even glancing back. That was just as well, because if he had he would have seen Sheik white as a sheet, which would no doubt have given him considerable satisfaction.

'I hate him,' she announced before the door had even swung shut behind him.

'You're not the only one,' Impa replied.

'You saw what that was, right?' Sheik asked as Impa led her out of the hall. 'That was intimidation tactics! On _me_! And what's more, they were working! He knows I'm a fraud!'

'No, he _suspects_.'

'Same thing,' Sheik said dismissively.

'Not at all. For a start, you don't know how much he suspects. He certainly suspects that you don't know much about this deal - which, I might add, we have less than a day to fix, so you are going to be doing some serious studying this evening - and he suspects that you aren't quite as confident and self-assured as you acted back there. However, I seriously doubt he suspects that you aren't the real Zelda. He's always like that, even with her. He hates her, and he'd do anything to make her look weak.'

'Well, he's going to have an easy time of it now!' said Sheik, who hadn't liked the sound of "serious studying".

'No he's not. Come on, we've got work to do.'

'But what about lunch?' Sheik wailed as she was dragged away, trying to fight Impa off and follow the delicious smells radiating up from the kitchens below.

'You can have lunch when you can recite the Goron deal off by heart!'

* * *

'…and we pay the Gorons 50,000 Rupees per ton of iron ore they trade to us,' Sheik finished. 'There we are. Can I eat lunch now?'

'Lunch? It's nearly time for dinner!' Sheik paused while the cogs turned.

'Can I eat dinner now?'

'Dinner? It's far too early for that,' Impa said with a slight hint of a smile.

'This is cruel and unusual punishment, you know,' Sheik said glumly, collapsing onto the couch.

'I beg to differ,' Impa replied. 'Cruel it may be, although not really that cruel when you think about it, seeing that you had a big breakfast, and it's certainly not unusual. Why, many children are forced to skip meals as punishment, and many adults have to skip meals out of necessity!'

'Yes, and until yesterday I was one of them, so can I please have some food?' Sheik asked, but her pleas fell on deaf ears, or at least ears that were doing their very best to appear deaf.

'I don't think you're ready yet. Remember, the ambassador is coming tomorrow.'

'So? I managed to weasel my way out of things today, didn't I?' Sheik asked.

'Yes, at this rate I shall have to start calling you Sheik of the Silver Tongue,' Impa said dryly. 'Look, talking thick and fast may work to confuse a few silly old men, but it won't work on the Gorons. They're stolid.'

'I think you mean solid,' Sheik said helpfully.

'I know exactly what I mean! I meant stolid! Although they are pretty solid too. Not the point! They're stolid, and they may not be bright but once an idea gets into that thick head of theirs you won't get it out again without a crowbar! That ambassador will presumably have been told by his chief that they want to accept this deal. He's coming here to make sure you're still happy with the terms of the deal, and get your signature. That's all he's been told to do, and all he's going to do. If you spin your words around him like you did with the Council today, he'll stand there, and frown, and he won't understand a word you're saying. Then he's going to decide to ignore that, since it doesn't come under the categories of a) making sure you're still happy with the terms of the deal, or b) getting you to sign it. Your tricks won't work on him.'

'Fine, I'll do it by the book!' Sheik snapped. She was starting to get a headache from hunger, and now what she wanted more than anything else was for Impa to leave her alone with her thoughts. And by that she meant that she wanted Impa to turn her back for five minutes so that she could nip down to the kitchens and get something to eat. Since most of her thoughts were about getting something to eat in any case, it came to more or less the same thing.

'You'd better,' Impa warned her. 'This deal isn't perfect, far from it, but it's the best one we could get and it took long enough to get this far! Never try doing diplomacy with a walking rock. It's not a concept that comes easily to them. So I will not have you screw this up in that careless way of yours just because you can't be bothered to take this seriously.'

'Alright, I promise! On my honour as a thief.'

'You realise that is essentially a meaningless phrase?' Impa asked with a raised eyebrow.

'Why else would I have said it?' Sheik asked, her brow creased in honest puzzlement. Impa sighed, too tired out to argue any more.

'Fine then. You need to get some rest, so that you're in reasonably good shape tomorrow. I'll get someone to bring you up something to eat.' Sheik smiled gratefully as Impa left, and her grin broadened when the maid brought her dinner. She heeded Impa's advice, going to bed as soon as the sun had set, and dreamt about apples.

* * *

A/N: Hope you enjoyed that! I always found Zant really creepy and zombie-like, and I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one. Review if you liked it!


	3. Chapter 3: The Joy of Haggling

A/N: Here we are again! This one was fun to write, so hopefully it's also fun to read.

* * *

When Impa turned the key in the door the next morning, she was shocked to find it pulled open from within.

'You're… up? Already?' she asked, seeing Sheik dressed and apparently well-rested. Impa was immediately suspicious. 'What's going on?' she asked, narrowing her eyes.

'Nothing! I'm just excited about today, that's all,' Sheik replied as she wolfed down her breakfast.

'You do realise that you're supposed to be signing off on a deal with the Gorons today, don't you?' Impa asked. Sheik must have forgotten; that was the only reason for this sudden change in attitude. Either that or she'd had a stroke.

'Yep! That's what I'm so excited about! This is my kind of ruling!' Impa was about to ask what this meant when Sheik grabbed her by the hand and started to tow her determinedly out in the corridor, before stopping abruptly. 'Um… which way am I going?' she asked.

'This way. But, before you do…' Impa went back into the room and returned holding something which caught the early morning sun and shone.

'No way! I get to wear the crown?' Sheik asked, her voice squeaking slightly with excitement as Impa placed it on her head. Impa grunted in response, starting to get seriously worried. She led the way towards the throne room, but at the head of the large staircase leading into the room, she stopped.

'Alright, spill it. What's gotten into you? Yesterday you couldn't have cared less about this deal, but now you're excited? Why?'

'I told you, this is my kind of ruling!'

'What, _agreeing to the pre-agreed terms_ and _signing where you're told to sign_?' Impa asked with emphasis, just in case Sheik was getting any funny ideas.

'Sure, let's go with that,' Sheik said, leading Impa down into the throne room. 'You know, this situation reminds me of a market stall owner I know.'

'Oh?' Impa asked, trying to keep up mentally and physically. She didn't know where this sudden burst of energy had come from, and she didn't like it.

'I've known him ever since I was a kid. When I met him the first time, I'd, ahem, _found_ a few coins and I wanted to buy some apples. Well, he haggled me down so far that I ended up giving him all my money and ended up with the smallest, most rotten apple he had.'

'He stole from a child?' Impa asked, shocked. Even if that child was a criminal, she still instinctively felt that it was… unsporting, somehow.

'No, it wasn't stealing, it was haggling. That's like… a kind of legal stealing, practiced almost exclusively by the stall owners in this very town. And their customers, of course. Well, I was rightly annoyed at that man, and so I kept going back to his stall, time and time again. The first few times I was haggled down to nothing again, but then I started to work out how to play his game. And over time, I got better at it. Now he's lucky if he can get away with giving me half a dozen of his best apples for the price of one rotten one. So you see, I've acquired a certain amount of haggling skill over the years.'

'And you intend to do what with that skill, exactly?' Impa asked, a dim premonition forming.

'Oh, not very much,' Sheik replied with a shrug. 'But all that haggling taught me something else, and that's not to accept a bad deal. If you're not happy with the one they're giving you, walk away. And sometimes the other person won't care and you'll spend the night hungry, but sometimes it'll turn out that they really can't afford to lose that deal, so they'll do anything to bring you back. And then they're haggling on _your_ terms, and then you've got them.' She smiled in satisfaction as she sat down on the throne. 'Apropos of nothing, how much does a ton of iron ore cost? Usually, I mean.' Impa thought about this.

'50,000 Rupees,' she said after a minute.

'No it doesn't. That's how much we're paying the Gorons. But that's daylight robbery. How much does it really cost?' Impa sighed.

'About 10,000, if it's quality ore. Which it will be, coming from the Gorons. They drive a hard bargain, but their iron is good.' Sheik nodded, filing this away under H for Haggling. That particular file was large, and several excerpts from it were foremost in her mind as the doors at the far end of the throne room opened. But to everyone's surprise, including the Council members who were arranged behind the throne, it was a Hylian who came through the doors.

'That's not a Goron, is it?' Sheik whispered to Impa. But there was no way the tiny man with the oversized glasses who had entered the room could be mistaken for a Goron. As if to accentuate that point, a real Goron entered behind the man, walking with the heavy tread of someone who had walked all the way from the mountains, and would continue to walk until he encountered a sufficiently solid obstacle. What that obstacle might be, Sheik had no idea, since she couldn't imagine what could possibly stop a Goron in its tracks. They were certainly solid. Stolid, too.

'And who might you be?' Impa asked coldly, addressing the Hylian. He pushed his glasses up his nose and scurried forward with a peculiar crab-like walk that Sheik recognised. The pile of papers under his arm, and the look which said "I'm charging you for the air I'm breathing right now" instantly marked him out as a _particular_ type of person.

'Lawyer,' she whispered under her breath, a second before the man said,

'I'm a lawyer. For the Gorons.'

'And since when do Gorons need lawyers?' Sheik asked, raising an eyebrow. This might complicate things. She had expected to deal with a talking rock, not a lawyer. Those people were trained in the art of weasel words.

'Since the Goron Chief suspects that Her Majesty, with all due respect, might try to change the terms of the agreed deal,' the lawyer replied promptly.

'I see. And this would the ambassador, would it?' Sheik asked, gesturing to the Goron, and immediately the temperature in the room dropped by several degrees. She mentally kicked herself, remembering that Zelda had met the ambassador only a week ago to agree the deal in the first place. She could feel Zant's eyes on the back of her neck, and she could practically hear his smirk. _Deer in a landslide_ , she told herself. _As long as I keep moving, as long as I don't slip, I'll be fine._

'Ah, please forgive me,' she said in the most gracious tone she could muster. 'I have reviewed the files for so many of your wonderful people in preparing for this deal, and I'm afraid that your particular face must have temporarily slipped my mind.' It wasn't bad, as recoveries went. It not only reassured everyone that the Princess did in fact know what she was doing, but she also had the unmatched pleasure of seeing a little glint of uncertainty in the lawyer's eyes. Reviewing files? That sounded worrying. It would indeed have been worrying, if it weren't for the fact that a) Sheik had no such files, and b) all Gorons looked the same to her in any case.

'So. Shall we begin?' she asked, and the lawyer hurried forward, feeling a return to firmer ground. Sheik allowed herself a small smile. She was going to enjoy this.

* * *

'If Her Majesty would kindly sign here, here, and here,' the lawyer said respectfully, handing Sheik the document. She pretended to glance over it, then tossed it to one side. This raised a chorus of mutterings from the advisors and a horrified look from Impa, but Sheik ignored them. She was busy watching the faces of the lawyer and the ambassador. The Goron looked just as impassive as before, and Sheik suspected that very little of the outside world was making it all the way through his skull to the brain, so she didn't have to worry about him. He was probably required to be here as a representative of the Gorons, but the lawyer was doing all the actual work. Said lawyer had now turned an interesting shade of blue, while scrabbling on the floor to pick up the papers.

'Don't bother,' Sheik told him with a regal wave of her hand. Maybe it was the crown, or maybe it was the throne, but she was feeling more confident than she had done in a long time. For the first time in years, no-one could arrest her. Alright, they could, but they were significantly less likely to than usual, and that was enough. 'I'm sure you will be pleased to hear that I am ready to renegotiate.' The lawyer laughed, the short, dry laugh of someone who had been born without any sense of humour whatsoever.

'I'm sorry your Majesty, but the deal has already been agreed.'

'I understand that,' Sheik replied, with just a hint of emphasis in her tone which said: you will kindly remember who is royalty here, you little worm. 'And now we are agreeing a new deal. As I understand it, the old deal required us to hand over 50,000 Rupees for every ton of iron ore the Gorons give us. Now, that is quite frankly unacceptable. How am I supposed to tell my citizens that we have no money left for anything else, because we have given it all to a race who don't even use money?' The lawyer cleared his throat, adjusting his glasses nervously. Sheik waited until he was ready to speak, then overrode him.

'We are renegotiating this deal. Otherwise, there is no deal.' Another wave of whispers from the advisors. Impa was still watching Sheik, but now her look was more appraising. It said: alright, you've gotten us into a right mess, now show me how you're going to get us out of it.

'B-b-but your Majesty, I was led to believe that Hyrule desperately needed this deal! You must have iron, surely?'

'Indeed we must. And that is why I am so very grateful that we have our own iron mines, right here in Hyrule.' She offered up another silent thanks to Nayru for her skim-reading ability. It was just a fragment of a phrase she had seen for less than a second two days ago, but she clearly remembered the words "the iron mines in the northern mountains of Hyrule". It wasn't much, but it would be enough. Yes, the lawyer was definitely off balance now, and once you unbalance the lawyer you're 95% there.

'Of course, Hylian workers can't dig as deep, or as long as Goron workers can,' Sheik conceded, watching the glimmer of hope in the lawyer's eyes. 'But think how much cheaper it will be for us. Why, barring the cost of expenses, the iron is free! A much better deal than 50,000 Rupees a ton, I should think.' And the glimmer died. The lawyer was stuttering madly now, and the Goron was starting to rumble.

'Chief said… we need deal signed. Chief did not say… had to be this deal.' Everyone waited, but that appeared to be all the Goron had to say on the subject.

'Very well,' Sheik said, turning back to the lawyer. 'Since you clearly need a deal so badly, will you _now_ renegotiate?' The lawyer nodded frantically. Gorons might have been slow, but ten tons of living rock can cause serious problems if it gets annoyed. If, for instance, it hired a lawyer who turns out to be perhaps not quite as good at his job as he claimed, and who failed to bring back the deal he was hired to get signed. And so, suddenly, they were doing business on Sheik's terms. Much nicer. Now, how much did Impa say a ton of iron ore was worth?

'I think I could be persuaded to accept the ore at a rate of 2,000 Rupees per ton,' she said thoughtfully. That was good; make it seem like _they're_ doing _you_ a favour. But something in the lawyer's brain managed to keep afloat in the rising tide of panic, and he adjusted his glasses again.

'Certainly not! 15,000!' _Ah, so we're already 35,000 Rupees lower than the original deal. Excellent. But what kind of haggler would I be if I gave in at the second offer?_ Sheik pretended to think for a moment.

'No. No, I don't think that is going to be acceptable. 3,000, perhaps.'

'10,000!'

'4,000.'

'7,000!' Sheik sighed.

'Well, I suppose I could go as high as 5,000. But that really does seem terribly steep, especially when we can just produce our own iron.'

'Done!' the lawyer screeched, frantically adjusting the original sheet of paper. Sheik read it carefully when he handed it to her. You never knew, with lawyers. Just because you had haggled them down to a ruinous price, it didn't mean they weren't going to put something completely different in the contract and get you to sign it before you realised what was going on. But everything seemed to be correct, so she signed with Zelda's flourishing signature and handed the sheet back.

'It's a pleasure doing business with you,' she said honestly. The lawyer sighed in relief, mopping his brow. But then he looked around, and leaned in.

'I hope your Majesty doesn't mind me asking,' he said conspiratorially, 'but where in Din's name did you learn to negotiate like that? You weren't trained as a lawyer, were you?' Out of the corner of her eye, Sheik saw Impa lean in too.

'No,' she replied. 'But here's a tip for you. Law school will only get you so far. If you want to learn from a real master haggler, take a stroll through the market in the city before you leave. You'll learn things.' The lawyer leant back, satisfied, and nodded to the Goron ambassador. The room was filled with the sound of breaths being collectively sucked in, before the Goron nodded ponderously and everyone exhaled with a sound like the tide going out. Sheik watched as the Goron and the lawyer left the hall, and relaxed back on the throne. _Not bad if I do say so myself_ , she thought with considerable satisfaction.

* * *

Impa was silent as she and Sheik returned to Zelda's room, and Sheik was starting to get nervous. After the Goron had left, her advisors had started to congratulate her on the deal before Impa had announced sternly that the Princess had work to do, and would be returning to her room _immediately_. She was not to be disturbed, apparently. All of this was very worrying for Sheik, who was faced with two options: either Impa had said those things to get her away from the advisors, presumably so that she could yell at Sheik in private, or Impa had been telling the truth, which probably meant that Sheik had a lot of paperwork to do. She wasn't sure which was worse. Finally she went into her room and Impa locked the door behind them.

'Now before you start-' Sheik began, raising her hands in defence.

'Well done,' Impa said quietly. Sheik gaped like a fish, then collapsed on the couch.

'Okay, you've lost me. You're _happy_ with what I just did?'

'I'm not happy that you disobeyed my orders. But I can't deny that you got a much better deal than we had before, so I suppose I ought to congratulate you on that at least.'

'Oh, well, you know,' Sheik said bashfully, preening herself.

'And what impressed me most was your ability to "haggle" with an empty hand,' Impa said, saying the word "haggle" like a duchess removing something unspeakable from her soup. Sheik frowned.

'Empty hand?'

'Yes. The iron mines.'

'Oh, those. Well, I vaguely remembered reading about them, so…'

'I see. And did you by chance remember that those iron mines are completely out of iron?' Sheik's eyes widened, but her treacherous memory flashed another image past her. The report she had been reading about the mines, which clearly stated that "the iron mines in the northern mountains of Hyrule… have run out of iron". Ah.

'But if we have no more iron, how the hell did that work? I tricked a lawyer with those mines! You're not supposed to be able to trick a lawyer even if you're telling the truth!'

'Fortunately for you, when she negotiated the deal originally Zelda conveniently forgot to tell the Gorons that we were out of iron. The fact that our mines have run out is the reason we needed this deal in the first place, but Zelda knew that if she told the Gorons that they would be able to name their price.'

'Which they pretty much did! I mean, 50,000 Rupees per ton? How bad a negotiator is Zelda, exactly?'

'She can just about manage normally, but it isn't her strongest suit,' Impa conceded. 'That's why I had to get you away from the advisors. They were all busy congratulating you, but sooner or later someone would have pointed out how differently you acted today. Zelda has no haggling ability whatsoever, and someone would have noticed the difference.'

'Someone called Zant, perhaps?' Sheik asked with a raised eyebrow.

'Exactly. He was watching you the entire time, waiting for you to slip up. I have to say, you managed to lie your way out of that rather well.'

'Still, though. If you knew I was making all those mistakes, why didn't you help me? Why didn't you do something?' Impa shrugged.

'I didn't think I needed to. If I'd pointed out in front of that odious lawyer that our mines were dry, that would have put us in even more trouble. I didn't want to do Zant's work for him.'

'Fair enough. I guess it worked out alright that I didn't know about the mines, because the Gorons didn't either. That was lucky.'

'Indeed. But how exactly did you know that we even had mines? Don't tell me you were paying attention on that first day.'

'Skim-reading!' Sheik said proudly. 'Which you thought I was making up. It's a real thing, and it works! Admit it.' Impa rolled her eyes.

'I will admit nothing of the sort. You said it yourself, you were lucky. But your luck might not hold out in future, so there will be no more improvisation. From now on, you will do as you are told.' Sheik sighed loudly.

'But that's so boring! The only reason I was actually excited about today was because I could see in this deal an opportunity to do things my way, not Zelda's! Haggling is my area, and you have to admit I'm good at it. What I'm not good at is all this Princess stuff. I can't pretend to be Zelda, and we both know that.' Impa sighed.

'You're far from an ideal imposter, I'll tell you that much. But… you're doing well so far.' Sheik raised another eyebrow. Was this a compliment from Impa? Surely she had misheard. 'I'm serious,' Impa said, taking in Sheik's incredulous expression. 'You're doing a good job. Not a perfect job, obviously, but then again you're not Zelda. And you're doing much better than I expected you to do.' Sheik sighed, and mumbled something under her breath. 'What was that?' Impa asked with a slight smile.

'Thank you,' Sheik said in a barely audible voice.

'You're welcome. Now, will you agree not to improvise again?'

'No. I'll improvise as much as I want if the situation demands it! You're right, I'm _not_ Zelda, and as long as I keep trying to do things her way I'm going to keep slipping up. The only way I'm going to get through this is if I keep improvising. Like Zant said. As long as the deer keeps moving, it's safe. But when I stop, he'll win. You know he will.' Impa sighed.

'You have a point, I suppose. Certainly things would be a lot easier if Zant weren't around to cause problems. You know, sometimes I wish that man would just fall off the face of the world.'

* * *

Sheik was surprised by Impa's tone.

'You really don't like him, do you?'

'What's there to like about him? You have met the man, haven't you?'

'Fair enough. So what's he doing here, anyway? If he hates Zelda, and you hate him, and presumably Zelda also hates him, why is he a member of the Royal Council?'

'You know, no-one's quite sure about that. In fact, no-one's quite sure about anything when it comes to Zant. He's from the Twili kingdom originally, a kingdom a long way from here. No-one knows what he did there, why he left it, but I'd be prepared to bet it was something criminal. I heard rumours he was a member of Queen Midna's court, but he had to leave in a hurry, which definitely suggests he committed some kind of crime, even if he was never caught. Anyway, one day he turned up here, and as a foreign noble who pledged allegiance to Zelda, I suppose it's not unreasonable for him to be given a seat on the Council.'

'But why is he still here? Why hasn't he left, or why hasn't Zelda gotten rid of him?'

'I don't know why he's stayed. I suspect he's planning something, but what that is I have no idea. And Zelda hasn't gotten rid of him because she wants to keep him where she can see him. You've heard the expression, "keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer"?'

'Zelda has friends?' Sheik asked incredulously, earning her a hard look from Impa.

'There you are. That's all I know about Zant. It's all anyone knows, for that matter.'

'It's not much,' Sheik told her, but filed it away anyway under Z for Zant, cross-referenced with S for Sneaky Bastard. She trusted Zant even less than she trusted Zelda, which was saying a lot, but unlike Zelda Zant seemed to have a genuine animosity towards her. Sure, Zelda had threatened to have her executed, but that was just to blackmail Sheik into helping her. Sheik had no idea what Zant wanted, and that worried her. If you knew what someone wanted, you could use that as a lever to manipulate them, or at the very least you had a rough idea of what they were going to do next. Zelda, bitch though she was, was predictable. That was why Sheik trusted her (more or less) to let her go free once the Princess got back; Zelda would have what she wanted, so she had no reason to make life any more miserable for Sheik than she already had.

But Zant, well, he was another matter entirely. What did he want? What was he up to? Was he actually planning something, and if so, what? Sheik sighed. She supposed she would just have to wait and see. But even the thought of that man made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. The idea of waiting for Zant to make his move was like swimming in a deep ocean and waiting for the sharks to strike. She knew it would happen, and it was going to be very unpleasant when it did. She just didn't know when.


	4. Chapter 4: A Close Encounter

A/N: Here's the next one! And thank you very much to cloaked saurosuchus for your lovely review, you brightened up my day enormously.

* * *

Sheik didn't have much to do for the rest of the day, so she took the opportunity to go for a walk in the gardens. Impa accompanied her, naturally, but Sheik wasn't planning anything anyway. Although she would rather have dropped dead than admit it within hearing distance of the other Sheikah, she was starting to settle into life at the castle. True, there was the constant fear of being discovered and executed for treason, but the deception kept Sheik on her toes. It was a feeling she got very rarely, when she was pulling off only the most daring of thefts.

Mostly it was laughably simple to snatch valuables off the citizens of Castle Town, but occasionally she would target someone who was slightly more aware, who watched slightly more closely. On one occasion she had spotted a well-known thief, who had recently served a jail sentence and was now supposedly a reformed character. That didn't mean he had forgotten all the tricks of the trade though, and Sheik had nearly been spotted several times. But it was worth it, to walk away with a bulging money-pouch, two solid gold rings and most importantly the smug sense of satisfaction she only got from stealing from a master thief.

Life in the castle gave her the same feeling, whenever she just stayed on the right side of suspicion, or managed to lie her way out of a tight corner. It was the unparalleled feeling of being the smartest person in the room - and considering that the castle had well over a hundred rooms, it was a substantial feeling.

'Anything going on in that head of yours?' Impa asked idly as they walked. 'Sorry, stupid question. As if anything's ever going on in there.' Sheik shrugged the insult off. She had learnt that Impa treated insults the same way normal people treated conversation, and was starting to ignore the constant jabs.

'Have you heard from Zelda?' she asked, without any particular interest.

'No. And I'm not expecting to.'

'Oh. So how will you know when she's going to be back?'

'I won't.'

'But it won't be long now, right? I mean, she said a few days, and it's been three already. She'll be back soon, won't she?' Impa stayed uncharacteristically silent. Sheik frowned, and stopped in front of her, blocking her path. 'Zelda said she was going to be a few days. That's true, isn't it?' she asked, glaring at Impa. The Sheikah thought about this.

'It's true that she said that, yes.'

'That's not what I meant! Is she or isn't she going to be back soon?'

'Define soon.' Sheik tried to think up another way to phrase the question, but realised that no matter which way she put it, Impa was going to evade it. _Why won't she tell me? I thought she was finally starting to trust me! Unless…_

'You have no idea when Zelda's coming back, do you?' she asked, folding her arms. Impa growled something under her breath, too low for Sheik to hear. 'Do you even know where she is, or what she's doing?'

'Her Majesty didn't feel it necessary to confide in me,' Impa said stiffly. Then she pushed past Sheik and kept walking along the path, keeping her gaze fixed straight ahead. Sheik stayed where she was, trying to process this. Why wouldn't Zelda tell Impa what she was doing? Sheik could understand Zelda not wanting to tell _her_ , after all she was a known criminal who Zelda had met only an hour or so before she left. But Impa was her most trusted advisor. Her friend, even. Whatever Zelda was doing, it had to be very confidential if she wouldn't even tell Impa.

'We should go inside,' Impa told her, coming back. 'It'll be sunset soon.'

'Right,' Sheik said, following without question, as she was still busy wondering what Zelda was up to. But halfway back to the castle, she stopped suddenly.

'What is it?' Impa asked, and if Sheik didn't know better she would have said there was a hint of concern in her voice.

'If no-one knows when Zelda's coming back,' Sheik said slowly, 'then how the hell am I supposed to know how long I'll be stuck impersonating her?'

* * *

Sheik grumbled all the way back to her room, and kept grumbling once Impa locked the door and left.

'So I'm supposed to just sit here, pretending I'm Zelda, while she goes off on holiday? That wasn't the deal! I mean, how long is she going to be? A week? A month? A year? What if she doesn't plan on coming back at all? What if she got bored of doing paperwork and putting up with Zant, so she hatched a plan to bugger off and never come back?' But Sheik shook her head at this. True, life as Zelda could be unbearably boring at times, but then Zelda herself was an unbearably boring person. Presumably someone like Zelda could never get bored of paperwork. A good long filing session was probably the highlight of her week.

Sheik sighed, slumping on the couch. The maid had brought her dinner just before Impa had locked her in, but she didn't feel like eating. The thought of being stuck as Zelda for an unknown length of time had left a bad taste in her mouth that all the… what was for dinner? Ooh, chocolate cake! But even all the chocolate cake in the world couldn't take that bad taste away. Still, it couldn't hurt to try anyway. Sheik dug in voraciously, just as the key clicked in the lock. Impa walked in and stopped, raising an eyebrow when she saw Sheik's face smeared with chocolate.

'Don't judge,' Sheik said through a mouthful of cake.

'Wouldn't dream of it,' Impa said, with an expression that made Sheik feel very judged indeed. 'Have you seen Zant?'

'Why would I have seen that asshole?' Sheik asked, swallowing.

'I thought he might have come to bother you. The Royal Council is supposed to be meeting - without you, don't worry - but Zant hasn't turned up. He's always there, in fact he's usually first, so I wonder what's happened to him.'

'Hopefully something terrible,' Sheik said gleefully. Impa gave her a Look, then turned to the door.

'I'm going to try to find him. I'm not going to lock you in for now, in case I have to come back, but I want you to stay in here. The sun will set soon.'

'Don't you worry, me and my cake aren't going anywhere,' Sheik said, taking another bite. Impa just sighed and left the room. Sheik finished her meal and glanced out of the window, watching the sun inch lower towards the horizon. Impa was right, she didn't have long until she changed back. She was still watching the sun when she became aware of soft footsteps moving slowly along the corridor outside her door. She strained her ears for any more sound, and nearly jumped out of her skin when someone knocked on the door.

She was about to call out for Impa to come in, when suddenly her thief senses tingled. Impa always came straight in, sometimes not even pausing to knock, so if it was her outside the door now, why was she waiting for Sheik to answer? And something else was bothering Sheik: those footsteps had sounded too light to be natural. They were the footsteps of someone who was trying very hard not to be heard. An unwelcome premonition formed in Sheik's mind, and she glanced out the window. She had maybe a minute before she changed back. Not enough time to get rid of the person outside the door, if they were who she thought they were.

'Princess…' a voice called softly from the door, and a shiver ran down Sheik's spine. She'd know that oily voice anywhere. 'I want to speak to you, Princess. Can I come in?' This time Zant didn't wait for an answer, pushing the door open and frowning at the empty room in front of him. Sheik leant against the wall of her bedroom, just out of sight, trying to muffle her heavy breathing. When she had seen the door start to open, she had executed a manoeuvre any thief would be proud of, launching herself off the couch and diving into the safety of the next room without even touching the floor. But that only bought her a minute, at most.

 _What should I do?_ she thought frantically. _The door is open, he's going to look in here any second now! And speaking of any second, I'm about to change back into my real body! If I had more time I could get him to leave, but I know the moment I poke my head around the door I'm going to change back, and if he sees the real me I'm dead. Literally._ She glanced out the window again, and cursed under her breath as the sun finally fell below the horizon. Now she really couldn't let Zant see her, but she could already hear him coming across the room outside.

She looked around, trying to find a hiding spot. There might be space under the bed, but getting there would mean crossing the open doorway, and Zant would see her for sure. The bathroom had the same problem. She could hide behind a curtain, but how long would it take Zant to search there? Ten seconds, if that. But there was nothing else in the room, other than the chest at the end of the bed (full of clothes and in full sight of the door), and a dresser against the wall next to her (not an option, since she wasn't drawer-shaped).

As she looked around desperately, hearing Zant getting closer, she spotted one more place she could hide. It was very risky, and it would be almost impossible to keep her balance. But it might work, as long as Zant didn't look up…

* * *

Zant frowned at the empty room, wondering where Zelda had gone. He had heard Impa talking to her in here not five minutes ago, and he had watched the door carefully, so he knew she was still in here. He glanced at the open door to the bedroom, and smirked. Was she hiding from him? How childish.

He strode across the room and burst through the door, growling when he saw that the next room was also empty. Where was she? A quick look into the bathroom confirmed that she wasn't in there either. There was nowhere else to hide, surely? He was just kneeling down to check under the bed when he heard a pointed cough from behind him. He shot to his feet, gulping as he saw Impa standing there.

'I-' he began, but she wasn't interested, grabbing his arm and marching him out of the room, all the way to the corridor outside.

'I am not in the least bit interested in hearing your pathetic excuses as to why you were in Princess Zelda's private quarters, after sunset no less! I hope you are ashamed of yourself!' Zant muttered something, glaring at the ground, but something about Impa reached inside his head, rifled through his memories and dug out the ones about his old schoolmistress, who had a voice like nails down a blackboard and barked out orders like cannon fire. Try as he might, Zant couldn't pluck up the courage to answer back to Impa. Many times he had wished that Zelda didn't have such a guard dog, but on reflection that was probably why Zelda kept Impa around.

'Good night!' Impa said firmly, in a tone which meant: I don't particularly care whether you have a good night or not, in fact I would rather you didn't, but if I see you again before tomorrow morning there is going to be trouble. Zant slouched off, annoyed at himself, Impa, the wretched Princess and the world in general. But as he rounded the corner, he stopped.

He straightened up, let out a long breath, and allowed a small smile onto his face. It hadn't gone so badly, really. True, he hadn't been able to find Zelda, but no-one had found out what he was planning. Which meant that he could try again, and next time he would make sure that Impa was well out of the way. Next time, no-one was going to interfere.

* * *

Impa frowned as she locked the door, relieved that Zant had gone away so easily but not really surprised. She always had that effect on him, although she didn't know why. All she had to do was use her sternest tone of voice, and Zant completely folded. If she didn't know better, she would have said he was afraid of her. Once she was sure he had gone, she went back into the bedroom.

'You can come down now,' she called up. Sheik let out a long sigh of relief and swung herself down from the doorframe. Just before Zant had entered the room, she had gotten up on the dresser and managed to climb up so that she was balancing with one foot on the open door and one foot on the doorframe. She had almost fallen a few times, but had just managed to stay up. Her heart had nearly stopped when Zant had turned around to speak to Impa, but fortunately he had been so concerned with the other Sheikah that he hadn't noticed her.

'He's definitely gone, isn't he?' Sheik asked, glancing back at the door.

'Definitely. I saw to that.'

'Thank you,' Sheik said fervently. 'What did he want?'

'I have no idea. I was still searching for him when I happened to pass by and saw that the door of your room was open. That's the only reason I came in here.'

'Thank Din you came when you did. Another minute and Zant would have spotted me, and even I'm not a good enough liar to explain what the Princess of Hyrule is doing standing on a doorframe.'

'It's a good thing you had the foresight to hide when he came in. But I wonder…' she mused.

'What?' Sheik asked, seeing the cogs turning.

'The timing of his visit seems suspicious. All of your advisors, and most of the Royal Guard, are supposed to be in a meeting at this very moment. We postponed it as we couldn't find Zant, but he didn't necessarily know we would do that.'

'So you mean,' Sheik said, frowning, 'that he could well have thought that the castle would be almost deserted for what, an hour or two? Everyone important, other than me, is supposed to be down in that hall. If someone wanted to come see me without anyone else finding out, now would be the time.'

'Indeed,' Impa replied, looking troubled. 'And that of course raises the question of what Zant was doing that was so incredibly secretive.' Sheik was silent, considering the range of likely possibilities. None of them were very promising, and one or two sent shivers down her spine. 'Well, he won't try anything for a while now that he knows I'm onto him,' Impa said, sounding more confident than Sheik felt.

That night, when Impa had left and Sheik was trying to get some sleep, images of Zant kept darting across her mind. Every bump or creak caused her to sit bolt upright in bed, her breathing quickening. Even though Impa had locked her in, even though Zant wasn't going to try anything, even though she knew she was safe, something about that man reawakened every childhood fear of monsters under the bed. But finally, in the early hours of the morning, Sheik managed to fall asleep, and dreamt of her mother.

* * *

' _I want to learn how to do that!' the little girl squeals, watching her mother carefully take a small nut out of her pouch._

 _'Maybe when you're older,' her mother replies with a gentle smile._

 _'But I want to learn_ now _! I'm a Sheikah too! I want to learn the vanishing trick!'_

 _'You're not ready to learn the secret yet,' her mother insists, before throwing the nut on the ground. It explodes with a loud bang and a flash of white light, and when it clears she's gone. But Sheik, who is normally in awe of her mother's trick, just folds her arms and pouts, refusing to be impressed. Suddenly someone grabs her from behind, tickling her sides. 'Don't tell me you're sulking?' her mother asks as her daughter giggles. Sheik laughs so hard that she can't keep frowning, even as the dream fades away._

* * *

Sheik was still laughing when she woke up the next morning, but stopped immediately when she saw Impa standing by the bed.

'What do you want?' she grumbled.

'I want you to get up. It's nearly midday.'

'Didn't sleep well,' Sheik replied, falling back on the bed.

'I realise that. I can tell by the way you were cackling in your sleep.'

'I was not cackling. I don't cackle.'

'Hmph.' Sheik shrieked suddenly as Impa wrenched the blanket away and a tidal wave of cold air hit her.

'What was that for?' she asked, curling up in a tight ball and glaring at Impa.

'I told you, I want you to get up.'

'Ugh. What do I have to do today that's so incredibly important?' Sheik asked as she hauled herself into a seated position. She was already in Zelda's body, never a pleasant sensation to wake up to, and that combined with lack of sleep had put her in a decidedly bad mood.

'Nothing. You need to sign some documents, but that's about it.'

'Ugh,' Sheik repeated.

'So what were you cackling about?' Impa asked idly as she shuffled a pile of paper on the desk.

'I wasn't cackling about anything, because I Do Not Cackle. I thought I made that clear.'

'Fine. Then what were you… laughing about? And I use laughing in the loosest possible sense of the word.' Sheik glared, but glares slid off Impa like water off a duck's back. Probably because she was just as used to them as ducks were to water. _How did Zelda ever put up with her?_ Sheik wondered. She sighed, trying to remember what Impa had asked her.

'I was dreaming about a memory of mine. From my childhood.'

'Oh?' Impa said, a slight questioning inflection in her tone. But Sheik wasn't in the mood to talk to Impa about her mother, so she ignored her and got dressed.

'I may as well get started on those documents. Where do I sign?'

'Here, here and here,' Impa told her. Sheik glanced over the papers without really reading them. Something about preparations for a visit. Was she supposed to be visiting someone? Was someone visiting her? She shrugged, deciding not to worry about it until it happened, and even then only maybe. That was why she had Impa, to worry about things for her. Maybe that was why Zelda kept her around.

'Any news from Zant?' she asked, trying not to let her concern show.

'Nothing. He's been a model of civic obedience all morning. It's as though he's trying extra hard to be good so that we'll all forget about last night.'

'Did you tell the Council?' Sheik asked, and Impa shook her head.

'Technically there's no reason why Zant shouldn't go to see the Princess, although it's highly irregular to do it at that time in that way.'

'Good. Let's keep it to ourselves for now. I don't want him to feel too comfortable, but if we make a big fuss over this people might start to wonder why I'm so concerned about him seeing me. The last thing I want is to be exposed over this. And besides, if I act like last night scared me, that'll just make Zant's day, and I don't want that.'

'You do realise that if he thinks he's gotten away with it this time, he may well try whatever he was trying again?'

'Yes, well…' Sheik sighed, biting her lip. She was thinking about her dream last night. She and her brain weren't always on the best of terms, but sometimes, when it realised that the head it was in might not necessarily be attached to a body for much longer, it was prepared to bury the hatchet and give her some helpful clues. Her thief's senses for example, which usually perked up when she was in trouble, pointing out things she hadn't noticed such as escape routes and generally helping her to just keep out of danger. And she thought that her dream last night wasn't a coincidence.

She hadn't dreamt about her mother once since arriving at the castle, but last night, having spent hours worried about Zant, she had dreamt a memory. Not just any memory, her memory of a vanishing trick her mother had used to do. It was one of the most useful tools in any Sheikah's arsenal, a convenient way of getting away from danger, leaving a pursuer with no idea where they had gone.

Sheik had never manged to convince her mother to teach her, always being told that she would learn when she was older. But it seemed that seven wasn't old enough, and after that Sheik hadn't had the opportunity to learn anymore. But she was seventeen now, which was surely more than old enough, and she was sure Impa knew the trick. The only problem was convincing Impa to teach her.

'What?' Impa said flatly before Sheik could even open her mouth.

'What do you mean, what? I didn't say anything!'

'Yes, but you were thinking something. I could definitely see smoke coming out your ears.' Sheik glared, but forced herself to relax. She needed Impa on her side for this.

'I have a favour to ask you.'

'No,' Impa said, heading for the door.

'Wait! This is about Zant!' Impa stopped, and narrowed her eyes.

'I'm listening.'

'You have a point. At some point Zant may well try… something again, and when that time comes I might have to get away quickly. Now, I happen to know of a certain Sheikah trick where you create a diversion, then slip away unseen. I can't help but think that something like that might be useful if and when I run into Zant.'

'You mean the Deku Nut trick? If you know so much about it, why don't you go ahead and use it?'

'I don't know how to do it, though. I've seen it done many times, but my mother never taught me how to do it. That's where you come in. I want you to teach me the trick.' Silence stretched between them.

'I didn't realise your mother was a Sheikah,' Impa said quietly. Sheik was taken aback; she had barely realised she had mentioned her mother.

'Oh. Well, yes. I mean, you knew I was a Sheikah, right?'

'Yes, but… I suppose I didn't make the connection. You certainly don't act much like a Sheikah, so I never really considered that you must have been raised by one.' Sheik shifted uncomfortably.

'Yeah, well…' She stopped, unsure what to say.

'You know,' Impa continued, 'I just realised that Zelda and I never asked you if there was anyone waiting for you at home. We assumed that a thief would be all alone, that no-one would miss you, but we never actually asked you.' Sheik half-shrugged, wishing Impa would talk about something else.

'It's fine. There isn't anyone.' Sheik had lived alone for so long now that she barely felt lonely anymore. But sometimes, usually on cold, dark nights when she had struggled home in the rain after a bad day, she missed having someone waiting at home for her. And listening to Impa talk about it wasn't making it any better. Sheik was well aware that once Zelda returned she would have to leave Impa and everyone else and return to her lonely house. She wouldn't miss the people themselves, but she would miss just having someone else around. Impa, watching her, sighed heavily.

'Fine. I see your point about Zant, and I suppose it would be useful for you to learn that trick. I'll teach you.'


	5. Chapter 5: The Art of Bush Diving

A/N: Slightly shorter chapter today, sorry about that.

* * *

Sheik adjusted the hood on her cloak so that it covered more of her face, trying to keep sight of Impa in the darkened street. Impa had insisted that they wait until after sunset before she taught Sheik the trick, because at any other time the risk of being seen was too great. And it would be very difficult to explain why the Hylian Princess was being taught Sheikah magic. But even now in the middle of the night, they had to go outside the city before Impa deemed it safe. Sheik followed Impa through the deserted city, until they reached the massive drawbridge which sealed the town off every night.

'Okay, now what?' Sheik asked, looking up at the gate. 'How are we going to get that down without anyone noticing?'

'We're not,' Impa replied, quickly glancing up at the guards patrolling the top of the gate. Then she led the way to the shadows by the drawbridge, feeling her way along the stone wall. Sheik squinted, but even with her well-honed night vision she didn't see the door until she was right next to it.

'Has this always been here?' she wondered as Impa opened it. It wasn't even locked. What was the point of having a huge and very obvious drawbridge which was raised every night, when there was an unlocked door a few feet away? She asked Impa, who chuckled.

'Precisely because that drawbridge is so very huge and obvious. Anyone seeing that would assume, as you did, that there is no way in or out of the city at night. However, in practice people sometimes do need to leave the city quickly and without being noticed, so this door is known to only those select few. The rest of the time it passes completely unnoticed. You'd be surprised how many people walk right past it every day, and yet would be prepared to swear that there's no such door.' Sheik didn't think she would be surprised; she herself had walked along here many times, and had never noticed it before. Once they were outside the walls they no longer had to worry about being seen, so they walked more quickly. Soon they had reached a wooded area, with several shrubs which screened them from view.

'This should do,' Impa said, stopping and pulling something small out of her cloak. 'Do you know what this is?' she asked, and Sheik squinted in the dim moonlight.

'A Deku Nut?' she guessed from the context.

'Yes. These things explode with a bright flash and a loud bang when they hit something solid, so they make the perfect cover.' Sheik nodded quickly. She already knew all that; what she wanted to know was what happened next. Once the nut had exploded, how were you supposed to get away? Magic? Some kind of teleportation spell?

'Now for the real secret,' Impa said, looking around them as if the shrubbery had suddenly sprouted ears. 'Come closer,' she whispered, leaning in. Sheik shifted closer, her heart pounding in her chest. Actual Sheikah secrets, revealed by an actual Sheikah warrior! She could barely stop herself from squealing with excitement. Finally she was going to learn the secret she had waited so long to hear. 'Closer!' Impa whispered, and Sheik shifted another inch towards her. Any closer and she would run a serious risk of having her eye poked out by Impa's nose.

'When the Deku Nut explodes, you only have a second or two while the other person is distracted,' Impa told her, and Sheik's eyes widened in anticipation. 'And in that second… you dive into the nearest bush and hope no-one thinks to look in there,' she said in a more normal voice, straightening up. She raised an eyebrow when she saw Sheik's open-mouthed expression, a mixture of disbelief and horror.

'That's it?!' she asked incredulously. ' _That's_ the Sheikah's big magic trick? _You dive into the nearest bush?_ ' Impa shrugged.

'What were you expecting? Most "magic" tricks are like that: sleight of hand and praying that the audience doesn't look too closely.'

'But, but-' Sheik stuttered, her grand illusions of the mysterious Sheikah crashing down around her. 'I thought there was actual magic involved!'

'Magic? Hah!' Impa said, amused. 'Why in Nayru's name would you think there was any actual magic? And on a related note, even if I did know magic, why in Nayru's name would I teach it to you?'

'Why wouldn't you?' Sheik asked, slightly hurt. Impa responded by raising an eyebrow and looking Sheik up and down.

'If you were in my position, would _you_ teach you magic?' Sheik opened her mouth, then closed it again.

'Rude,' she muttered, but she couldn't honestly disagree with the Sheikah. She would only misuse any magic she was taught, and they both knew it. But that didn't mean she wasn't offended.

'Well, do you want to try it?' Impa asked, proffering the nut. Sheik glared at the object, annoyed. 'If you're going to sulk, that's fine by me,' Impa said with a shrug, withdrawing her hand. But before she could take the nut back, Sheik grabbed it and hurled it on the ground. 'Not bad,' Impa said when the after-images had faded. 'You've certainly got the nut part right. Now you just need to work on your bush diving.'

Sheik said nothing, the heels of her hands still pressed firmly over her eyes. It had seemed so simple: throw the nut down, and leap off into the shrubbery. What she had failed to realise was that when you throw an explosive nut to cover your tracks, that nut ends up exploding very close to you. While it blinds and deafens any pursuer it also blinds and deafens you, which was why Sheik hadn't moved when the nut had exploded. Finally her eyes had recovered enough for her to look up at Impa, who was moving her lips, but Sheik couldn't make out any words over the ringing in her ears.

'…again?' she made out finally. 'I said, do you want to try again?' Impa repeated, and Sheik took the nut more gingerly this time. 'Try to throw it away from you, more at your opponent,' Impa advised. Sheik did as she was told and this time she managed to move just as the nut exploded. When she had recovered, Impa looked around and sighed. Then she walked over to a large bush, which had sprouted a pair of squirming legs halfway up, took hold of Sheik's boots and pulled.

'That was atrocious,' she said as Sheik emerged.

'It's not my fault! I dived into the nearest bush just like you said! You didn't tell me the bush would fight back!' Impa snorted.

'Some Sheikah you are. This is a basic trick! It's not hard, just throw the nut and dive. Even children can manage it! And then there's you, a Sheikah who blinds herself with her own diversion and gets stuck mid-bush.' She sighed, shaking her head. Sheik rubbed her cheek where a branch had caught her. She could feel a nasty bruise forming already, and it didn't improve her mood. But she was determined not to be beaten by the damned shrubbery.

'Come on, let me try one more time. I'm sure I can get it this time.' Impa sighed.

'Fine. One last time.'

* * *

Sheik woke up the next morning with what felt like an anvil on her head, while her ears felt as though a swarm of wasps had taken up residence in them. On the other hand, if her nose was to be believed (and it generally was), there was bacon for breakfast. This made her sit up immediately, but the combined pain in her head forced her to lie back down, groaning.

'That's what happens if you spend all night throwing Deku Nuts around and battling shrubbery,' Impa said sagely. Sheik had tried again and again, almost until dawn, but she hadn't been able to pull the trick off. Still, she intended to keep trying as long as she had to, despite Impa's firm instruction to stay away from the nuts for a few days while she recovered. 'Now, you need to get ready quickly. You've got a big day today,' Impa announced. Sheik looked up at her in horror.

'Please tell me that doesn't mean paperwork.' Impa sighed.

'No, it's far more exciting than that. You've got a visitor, and a very important one at that.' Something in Sheik's memory raised a hand.

'Oh, wait… didn't I sign something about a visit yesterday?'

'Yes, you signed the orders for a welcome for our visitor.'

'Brilliant. Does that mean I don't have to welcome them myself? And who is it, anyway?'

'Of course you have to welcome them, you're the Princess! And the visitor is royalty, so you are going to be on your best behaviour.'

'Yes sir,' Sheik replied, and Impa glared at her.

'That is exactly the kind of flippant attitude I will _not_ tolerate today, is that clear?'

'Yes,' Sheik muttered, sticking her tongue out once Impa turned her back.

'He's the prince of a neighbouring kingdom. How much do you know about the international political situation right now?' The question whipped out quickly, like the barb on the end of a stingray's tail.

'Er, not much? And I realise that it's futile to ask, but could I please not be lectured on politics before breakfast?'

'Then you'd better start eating, because you're having that lecture. Hyrule is in a somewhat precarious position. We have some firm allies, like Termina, while most countries are indifferent towards us. Some, like the Twili kingdom Zant's from, are officially indifferent, but everyone knows they'd be ready to invade at the drop of a crown. Then there are some - or specifically, one - in a fourth category. That's the Gerudo kingdom, ruled by Ganondorf. That kingdom is Hyrule's sworn enemy, and has been since the dawn of time.

To be honest, no-one really remembers what we're fighting over anymore. But neither side will back down, because doing so would mean an immense loss of national pride and quite possibly an invasion. So while we're not technically at war, we're definitely not on friendly terms with the Gerudo. But the Council have come up with a cunning plan to swing the situation in our favour. They're planning to make an alliance with the Faron kingdom, one of our neighbours. It's large, and strong, and although it generally stays out of fights like this one the Council think the ruler could be persuaded to side with us, if offered something in return.'

'Like what?' Sheik asked, a premonition forming. She might not have known much about politics but she had read a few fairy-tales in her time, and she knew that there was one traditional way to reward a prince for helping out another kingdom, especially when said kingdom had a princess. She knew where this was going.

'They have arranged a marriage between Zelda and the prince.'

'Oh. Poor her. So I just need to cosy up to this guy until Zelda comes back? Shouldn't be too hard.' Impa sighed, rubbing her temples. Sheik realised that Impa looked tired too, and wondered how much sleep the other Sheikah had gotten. Clearly this royal visit was weighing heavily on her mind. Sheik couldn't say the same; she couldn't care less about some random prince, just as long as no-one was expecting her to kiss him. To Sheik's surprise, Impa sat down on the end of the bed.

'It's a bit more complicated than just cosying up to him. You see, Zelda hates the prince's guts. She would marry absolutely anyone up to and including Zant rather than him. I'm not sure entirely why she has such a vendetta against him, but she does. Anyway, Zelda has made her position quite clear, and is fighting this marriage tooth and nail.'

'What does the prince think of that?' Sheik wondered.

'He doesn't mind marrying Zelda, but he's not in love with her. If the marriage goes ahead his country gets another ally, and if the wedding falls through the Faron kingdom can go back to being neutral like it's always been. He doesn't care either way. No, the problem is the Royal Council. They insist that the wedding is going to happen, and they keep trying to set a date to pressure Zelda into it. She's refused to agree to a date, and technically they can't override her, although that won't stop them trying.

But I think Zelda has a plan. A few weeks ago, when she first told me that she would have to go away for a while, we discussed what role an imposter would have to play. And she was very insistent that, whatever other decisions they made while impersonating her, any imposter had to keep up her resistance to the marriage. She was firm about that. I had to make sure that under no circumstances did the marriage get arranged, and certainly the wedding was not to take place until she returned. I suspect that when she does come back she will have a plan to sort this out once and for all, but until then you cannot cosy up to this boy in any way whatsoever!'

'Sure,' Sheik said, stifling a yawn. She had only heard parts of Impa's speech, mostly because she kept dozing off, but she got the message. 'Don't worry, I can be a complete bitch to him if you want.'

'No, we can't have that. He's still royalty, and even if there's no marriage we still want him and his kingdom on our side. You have to be polite, but not affectionate. Gracious, but don't let him think you like him in any way whatsoever. The situation is of the utmost delicacy.'

'Yeah, I don't handle delicacy so well,' Sheik pointed out.

'Luckily, I do. I will guide you through this as much as possible. Fortunately I've managed to arrange things so that you and the prince will be spending very little time together when he arrives today. All you need to do is not screw up the time you do spend with him.'

'Wow, what a vote of confidence,' Sheik said sarcastically. Impa looked hard at her.

'Now I want to make one thing very clear. There will be no, I repeat, _no_ improvising. Is that clear?'

'Yes,' Sheik grumbled. This visit was sounding more boring by the minute. 'So what do I actually have to do?'

'Just go down there, greet the prince, and the Council will take it from there. It'll take five minutes at most. Surely even you can manage that.' Sheik rolled her eyes but said nothing, putting on the dress Impa had laid out for her. It was fancier than usual, and had a constrictive bodice which Impa laced up painfully tight.

'Am I supposed to be able to breath in this dress?' Sheik gasped out.

'No.'

'Oh. No worries, then.' She staggered awkwardly to the door, trying to manoeuvre several hundred yards of skirt which felt as though it had lead sewn into the hem.

'You look about as graceful as a drunk duck,' Impa commented. Sheik was too busy focusing on staying upright to reply, steadying herself on the doorframe. 'Come on. We're already late,' Impa told her, striding past her to the door.

'I'm coming as fast as I can,' Sheik grumbled, waddling another few inches. 'This prince had better be worth all this nonsense. What's his name, anyway?'

'Link,' Impa replied. Sheik sniffed.

'Sounds pretentious.'

* * *

Sheik finally made it down into the throne room, panting from the exertion. She was tempted to swing one leg over the arm of the throne, but a death-glare from Impa dissuaded her. She sighed instead, and started to clean the dirt out from under her nails. The Council members filed into the room, and Sheik carefully ignored Zant, watching him out of the corner of her eye while still apparently paying no attention to him. He ignored her too, although she couldn't tell if he was faking it or not.

'When is this Link guy going to turn up?' she whispered to Impa. 'I thought you said I was late! Is he always like this?'

'No. Perhaps he's just not keen to see you. It would be understandable, considering how Zelda usually treats him.' Sheik shrugged. She opened up her mental filing cabinet, found the file marked L for Link, and reviewed it out of sheer boredom. From what Impa had told her, Link was a model prince by all accounts. He was smart, brave, a good soldier and loved by his people. He had taken over the running of his kingdom at a young age after the death of his father, and apparently the only reason he hadn't officially become a king yet was because he was always too busy to arrange a coronation.

Sheik snorted. She already disliked Link, since she was immediately distrustful of anyone who devoted that much time and energy towards the betterment of mankind. She was just wondering if anyone would notice if she had a nap, when the doors at the far end of the throne room burst open. She sat up, rearranged herself as best she could, and painted a gracious smile onto her face with an effort.

Link's entourage streamed into the room, jostling with the Council members for space. Finally, after what seemed like most of the population of Faron had filled the throne room, the prince himself entered. Everyone in the room, Impa included, bowed respectfully. Sheik was glad she didn't have to bow, because she didn't think she was able to. She seemed to have momentarily lost all control of her body, including her jaw, which was hanging somewhere around her knees. Impa had told her a lot about Link, but had forgotten to mention one vital detail. She hadn't said anything about Link being hot.

* * *

A/N: Cannot wait to post tomorrow's chapter. Review if you liked it thus far!


	6. Chapter 6: Link

A/N: Very nearly forgot to update today. Still, I rather like this chapter, so hopefully it's good.

* * *

The world seemed to slow down. As Link entered the room, the light from outside illuminated him like some kind of god while the wind ruffled his perfect hair. He was tall, with clear blue eyes that nearly made Sheik fall off her throne as they swept over her. She honestly hadn't realised that mortals could look like this. Link smiled regally at the various Council members as he approached the throne. His progress was matched by the progress of a large bead of sweat down the back of Sheik's neck.

'You have to say something!' Impa hissed as Link came closer. He was turning to her. She had to say something. Literally anything would be better than was she was doing, which was sitting in stunned and terrified silence.

'Meep,' she managed. Alright, anything would have been better than what she was doing, _or_ the word "meep". What kind of a word was "meep"? But Link didn't appear to have heard her, reaching for her hand as he knelt down. She tried to surreptitiously wipe it on her dress before he could touch it, because her palms were moist at best and half-drowned at worst. The situation didn't get any better when Link kissed the back of her hand, and Sheik nearly fainted. She could feel the room spinning around her and was very glad that she was already sitting down, but it was still and effort to stay upright.

Impa, still bowing down, elbowed Sheik on the ankle. She cleared her throat hurriedly, realising that something a bit more substantial than "meep" was going to be required here. What had Impa said? She had to welcome him, right? _Okay, focus!_ she told herself sternly. _You can do this! I know he's mind-meltingly hot, but you can still do this! Just imagine he's… Zant, or someone!_ Ah, that did the trick. Suddenly Sheik found herself resisting the urge to rip her hand out of Link's grasp and scrub it with acid to remove all traces of that kiss. She cleared her throat again, with more assurance this time.

'Welcome, Link. It is, as ever, an honour and a pleasure to have you here in Hyrule.' That was apparently it, because at that moment the rest of her court woke up and hurried over, surrounding Link until she was insulated from him by several layers of heavily-bearded men. She breathed a long sigh of relief as the room emptied, and sighed again as a shadow fell over her.

'What in Din's name was that?' Impa asked, folding her arms.

'I panicked! You did not adequately prepare me for that encounter!'

'I told you everything you needed to know!'

'You didn't show me a picture!' Impa raised an eyebrow, in a way only she could. That eyebrow spoke volumes, with a companion guide and a note from the author stating that Impa's respect for Sheik, despite having recently been raised slightly off the ground, had now sunk so low that if Sheik looked far up into the sky, higher than the clouds, she might, just, if she was lucky, be able to see rock bottom.

'Oh. I see how it is,' Impa said with a haughty sniff.

'It's not my fault!' Sheik protested, knowing full well she would be ignored. Impa did not disappoint her.

'I will not tolerate this kind of weakness!' she said sternly. 'Already there were a few raised eyebrows when you greeted Link the way you did. Zelda would never have been so polite. She would have given him a mere nod of the head, and nothing more.'

'Well, you could have told me that! Anyway, it's not weakness! Don't tell me you've never been in love!' To Sheik's shock, Impa's cheeks went very faintly red. She cleared her throat abruptly, turning away.

'That is entirely not the point! And besides, what do you know about love? Are you seriously going to tell me that you're in love with Link? He's never even spoken to you!'

'Well, I'll admit that it's not love so much as a burning desire to see Link with his shirt off, but at the end of the day, what difference does it make? He's hot and I can't deal with that!' Impa sighed, rubbing her temples.

'Fine. We'll work up from the bottom. What experience do you have with boys?'

'What, you mean robbing them? Loads.' Impa glared.

'Why in Farore's name would I mean robbing them? I mean… romance, or whatever passes for romance in that strange head of yours! Boyfriends! Love, if you insist on calling it that!'

'Oh!' Sheik paused while she thought about it. 'No experience whatsoever. Hey, it's not my fault!' she protested as Impa geared up for a rant. 'I haven't exactly had that many opportunities to make friends! I don't have time for nonsense like that!'

'But you think that you do now? You think that it is right and proper for the Princess of Hyrule to, to, to _salivate_ all over the prince of another kingdom?'

'I don't know about right and proper, and I certainly don't know about salivating, thank you very much, but I do know that I'm a girl and I have needs.' Impa shook her head.

'I honestly don't know whether to slap you or throw up. How about both?'

'How about neither?' Sheik said, leaning away from her.

'Fine. But you will have to see Link again at some point, and when you do you're going to have to up your game. Come with me. We have a lot of work to do.'

* * *

Sheik sighed happily as she flopped back onto her bed. Impa had finally left her after several hours of lecturing Sheik on the virtues of propriety, chastity, and not making a bloody fool of yourself. Sheik, meanwhile, had been busily daydreaming about the virtues of flirting, kissing, and Link's abs, which her ever-active imagination had assured her were magnificent.

The problem, as she had explained Impa loudly several times, was that she wasn't used to boys like that. Or any boys, to be honest. Unlike Impa, she hadn't spent years building up a wall of disdain and snobbery which could be deployed at a moment's notice anytime a boy looked like he was even thinking about talking to her. At that point she had gotten sidetracked, launching into a dissertation on why Impa would die alone while she, Sheik, was going to spend the rest of her life with Link, and by the time she had returned to the subject at hand Impa had left the room, quite unnoticed by Sheik.

But as she relaxed there was a knock at the door, and Sheik sprang up from the bed as if it had suddenly become red-hot. She smoothed down her dress, knowing with the certainty of the hopelessly in love that it was Link outside the door. Which was why her face fell dramatically when it opened to reveal the maid.

'I've brought your dinner, your Majesty,' she said, managing to bob a curtsey without a single ripple in the bowl of soup she held.

'Soup?' Sheik asked unenthusiastically, prodding the bowl. Some long-buried beast rose from the depths, floated for a moment on the surface, then sank back down to the bedrock. On reflection, Sheik thought it might have been a leek.

'Sorry, your Majesty. Impa said you were to have soup tonight. Strict orders. I think she's upset with you.' Sheik sighed.

'When isn't she?' The maid nodded sympathetically.

'Would this be about His Majesty the Prince?' she asked. Sheik fell back on the bed again.

'Who else?' she said. The maid tactfully said nothing. 'What do you think of him?' Sheik asked suddenly, raising her head.

'I think he's dreamy,' the maid replied, pulling up a chair. 'I wish I was in your position. I'd _love_ to marry him.'

'Wouldn't we both,' Sheik muttered.

'Begging your pardon, your Majesty, but I thought you didn't like Link?' Sheik's eyes widened as she realised that the maid was right. Well, sort of.

'Oh! Er, yes, that's right! Hate the guy. Link? Bleugh!' The maid looked very confused. 'Er… right! I'm going to eat my soup now!' Sheik said, grabbing the bowl and spooning its contents into her mouth energetically.

'Um… good night, your Majesty,' the maid said respectfully, looking worried. Sheik waved her out, too busy choking on the contents of her soup to say anything. She reached into her mouth and unhooked something stringy which had wrapped itself around a tooth.

'Hey!' she yelled just before the maid could slip out the door. 'What's this thing supposed to be?' she asked, pointing to the offending vegetable. The maid squinted.

'I think that's a shoelace,' she replied before leaving and closing the door quickly behind her. Sheik turned back to the possibly-shoelace, looked it up and down, shrugged, and tossed it out the window.

* * *

A few hours later, her stomach grumbled. She had sieved her soup carefully, removing all the so-called "vegetables", but what she was left with could only be called water by default. Clearly Impa was trying to punish her, and it was working. She thought about going down to the kitchen to try to find something edible, when she remembered that Impa had locked her in.

 _Wait a minute! She didn't lock me in, because the maid came in!_ She ran over to the door to check her theory, and grinned broadly when she was proved correct. For the first time since she had arrived at the castle, Impa had forgotten to lock her in! And that meant that not only could she get some proper dinner, she could escape! True, the sun had set an hour ago, so she was already back in her own body, but that would only make it easier to go unnoticed. And she knew Impa would search high and low for her in the morning, but by then she could be halfway across Hyrule and still accelerating.

She was already out the door when she stopped suddenly. There was one downside to leaving now, and that was that she would never get to see Link again. She shrugged. _Big deal_. But she stopped abruptly, and shook herself. _What am I saying? No more Link? That's unacceptable!_ The thought of never seeing the prince again was just too awful. Had Impa left her room unlocked the night before she would be out of the castle by now. But that was probably why she had chosen tonight. The older Sheikah knew that Sheik wouldn't want to leave while Link was still here.

Sheik sighed, going back into her room and closing the door. She hated herself for doing this, but she just couldn't bear the thought of leaving Link. And besides, if she didn't run away tonight, Impa might start to trust her and leave her door unlocked more often. Then, when the time was right, she could run away properly. She wasn't sure when the right time would be, but she was sure that it would involve Link somehow. She wondered if he was open to the idea of eloping?

* * *

'Oh. You're still here.' Impa didn't sound particularly happy about that fact, which offended Sheik.

'I thought you'd be happy to find that I didn't run away! I could have, you know,' she said defiantly, sitting up in bed.

'No, you couldn't have, which was exactly why I did it. I knew the idea of being away from lover boy would be too gosh-darn painful for you, so you'd stay here like the weakling you are.'

'I-' Sheik began, then stopped. It was a terrible thing to have your own thought processes brandished at you with impunity like that. There was just no way to refute them.

'Well, you'll be happy when I tell you what you're doing today,' Impa said, and Sheik immediately perked up.

'Another trade deal? Who am I swindling today?'

'No-one. You're babysitting.' Sheik sighed, and lay back down.

'Why would I want to do that?'

'You didn't hear who the baby is. Get out of bed, young lady, because you are going to spend the entire morning with Link.' Sheik shot up in the air and was already struggling into her dress when her feet hit the floor.

'What? Why? How? Where is he? Do I look okay?' Impa sighed, and helped Sheik turn her dress the right way around. In her haste she was trying to put her leg through a sleeve.

'Today is the first day that the Hyrulean and Faron Councils get to spend together. Yesterday our visitors were recovering from their long journey, but today is business as usual, and we've got work to do. Now, it's long been known that when two countries want to do business, the rulers of those two countries should not be involved in any way whatsoever. It would only distress them, and they get in the way. So you and Link are being diplomatically pushed to one side, and the real diplomats are going to get some work done. That means the two of you are going to be at a loose end all morning, so you have to do your duty as hostess and spend time with him.'

'Brilliant!' Sheik said. Normally she would have been offended at the thought of being sidelined like this, but if it gave her quality time with Link she wasn't going to complain.

'But remember what I told you about Zelda's position. This is not the time to be flirting with Link. You're not supposed to like him.' Sheik grumbled under her breath, too low for Impa to hear, but the other Sheikah did catch some vague allusions to Zelda's position and where she could stick it. But Sheik remembered her conversation with the maid the night before, and knew that Impa was right.

It wasn't just about not getting Zelda into a marriage she didn't want - Sheik couldn't have cared less about that. But if "Zelda" suddenly started being nice to Link when she had been a complete bitch before, people were going to get suspicious. That could blow Sheik's cover, and spending the rest of her very short life in a dungeon was something she did care about, very much.

'Fine. I'll pretend to hate him,' she said grudgingly. 'But if he tries to kiss me, don't expect me to break out the pepper spray.'

* * *

Sheik had been looking forward to her time with Link. She had thought it would be wonderful, romantic, enjoyable at the very least. She hadn't thought it would be awkward. For a start, Link kept looking at her. That wasn't helping. Every casual glance her way made her blush furiously, all the while terrified that he was getting suspicious. How well did Link actually know Zelda? That was another problem.

She didn't dare talk to him, for fear of exposing herself. What if she asked him a question Zelda already knew the answer to? Or, worse, what if he asked her something and she gave an incorrect answer? No, better to keep sitting stiffly in her chair as if someone had put a wooden board down her back, staring at the portraits of long-dead kings and queens on the walls.

'I heard you negotiated a very favourable deal with the Gorons,' Link said after a while. He was much more relaxed than Sheik, leaning back in his chair with one leg resting on the other. Sheik realised that she really ought to say something in reply. Again, "meep" probably wasn't going to cut it. She had to come up with something better, but it was impossible while Link was looking at her like that. Or while he was looking at her in any way. Or while he was in the room, to be honest.

Ye gods, how did he manage? Surely he had to live in fear of catching sight of his reflection in the mirror, and being paralysed by his own attractiveness? She had already tried picturing him as Zant, but it just didn't work. True, spending time with Link also made her want to take a cold bath, but for entirely different reasons. Right, something to say, something to say…

'Oh, well, it wasn't hard,' she said with what she hoped was demure modesty. It probably wasn't, but she wouldn't have known what demure modesty was if it had sat on her, and hoped that Link didn't either.

'Really? I had no idea you were such an accomplished negotiator.' Sheik blushed, realised it was a mistake, and tried to remove the crimson from her cheeks by sheer willpower. It didn't work, and Link's smile broadened to the point where Sheik suspected he was laughing at her. That got rid of the blush, and it was speedily replaced with a frown. Link might have looked like the kind of god other gods made statues of, but she wasn't going to be laughed at even by him. She looked pointedly away from him, and allowed the silence in the room to get a few degrees chillier.

'I do hope I haven't inadvertently offended you, your Majesty,' Link said, still smiling.

'You didn't _inadvertently_ offend me, no,' Sheik replied with a haughty sniff. As long as Link kept behaving like this, she could assert her natural dislike for royalty and just about get away with it. The problem was when he acted like a decent human being.

'You know, you're different to usual,' he commented suddenly, and Sheik's blood ran cold.

'Oh really? I don't think so,' she said, examining her nails and trying not to look bothered.

'Yes, you are. Normally you just ignore me, whether I annoy you or not. It's nice to finally talk to you.' Sheik said nothing. So Zelda usually sat in silence, did she? Well, she could manage that. It meant there was less chance of her embarrassing herself again, too. Link sighed. 'So you're ignoring me again. Brilliant.' She could feel him staring at her, but forced herself to ignore him with an effort. _Just pretend he's not there. That's what Zelda does. It's an empty chair, an empty chair, and em-_

'I trust I am not interrupting?' Impa said from the door.

'No!' Sheik said quickly, shooting out of her chair. She had never been so glad to see the Sheikah in her life. 'What's that? There's some important paperwork you need me to sign right this instant? Sorry, got to go,' she said to Link, rushing over to the door. He just sighed, waving a hand without looking at her.

'It was nice not talking to you,' he said dryly. 'Maybe we can do it again sometime?'

* * *

'How was that?' Impa asked as they walked back to her room.

'Awful! It started out bad, and then it just got worse! He started talking about the Goron deal and how different I was acting and I had to start ignoring him and then-' Impa stopped, placing her hands on Sheik's shoulders.

'Calm down. You did fine.'

'Really?' Sheik asked, frowning. 'Clearly you weren't listening. He started talking about the Goron deal and-' Impa interrupted her again by shaking her.

'I heard you the first time! But judging by Link's attitude just then, you did fine! He's always like that with Zelda, because she always makes him feel like that - dejected, disappointed, and not sure quite what he's doing in this kingdom. You're doing a great job!' Sheik looked back at the now-closed door.

'I feel bad,' she told Impa. 'I mean, I didn't want to be mean. But I had to lie my way out of there, and then things just kind of got out of control.'

'I know. But the point is, you did fine. That's the main thing.' Sheik sighed, and kept walking.

'How was the meeting?'

'Depends who's asking. The two Councils made a lot of progress towards agreeing a deal between our two kingdoms, to be implemented after the marriage. From Hyrule's point of view, that's great. From Zelda's point of view, that's terrible, because it means the marriage is that much more likely to happen.'

'Why didn't you stop it?' Sheik asked. She didn't see why she had to keep her distance from Link to prevent the marriage if Impa was going to sit there and arrange deals with impunity.

'Believe me, I tried. But Zant and the others overruled me, and most of the Faron side are keen on a deal.'

'Why is Zant helping out? Surely he doesn't want Zelda to marry Link, it'll make it harder for him to make her life a misery.'

'Yes, but if the marriage goes ahead he won't have to make her life a misery anymore. Link will do that for him.' Sheik nodded.

'Why is Zelda so against this? Link seems like a perfectly decent human being. A bit too self-confident perhaps, but not that bad. I mean, if _I_ was marrying him I'd be over the moon!'

'I told you, I don't know why Zelda objects so strongly.'

'Maybe there's someone else?' Sheik said with a sly grin. Impa harrumphed. It was a proper harrumph, starting from the depths of her stomach and gathering momentum as it went, until it emerged in a harrumph that made dust rain down from the ceiling.

'If there were to be someone else - and I fail to see who that someone else could possibly be - I would be the first to know about it.' _Touched a nerve there_ , Sheik thought. Clearly the fact that Zelda hadn't told Impa where she was going or how long she would be gone was annoying the Sheikah. Still, it wasn't as though Sheik cared particularly. Besides, she had bigger problems at the moment.

'So when am I going to have to see Link again?' she asked.

'I thought you loved seeing him? You make it sound like such a chore,' Impa said in what Sheik considered to be an undeservedly condescending tone.

'It's hard pretending not to like him and also stopping myself from drooling at the sight of him, alright?' she said. 'Now, when am I next going to have to see him?'

'Whenever he wants to see you. Your schedule is clear, and you have to do your duty as hostess, so if he asks to see you, you have to go and be gracious to him.'

'Ugh,' Sheik replied. Impa nodded in a rare moment of fellow-feeling. "Ugh" seemed to sum it up rather nicely.

* * *

A/N: An interesting predicament for Sheik. Let me know what you think of it!


	7. Chapter 7: Love at Fourth Meeting

Sheik was woken by Impa early the next morning, so she decided to skip the formalities and go straight to moody.

'Whatever it is, I'm not interested. Find someone else.' She had dreamt about her mother again the night before, and she never woke up from those dreams in a good mood.

'Sadly Link specifically asked to see you, so I can't find someone else. Get up, now.' Sheik sighed, but the mention of Link cheered her up slightly. But why did he want to see her after yesterday? She asked Impa, who shrugged.

'No idea. Maybe it didn't go quite as badly as you thought. Either way, he's already waiting for you. I left it a while before waking you so you don't look too keen, but now we're verging on rude.' Sheik made it upright and ate her breakfast while she dressed. Finally she was pushed out into the gardens by Impa, grumbling all the way.

'Sorry to make you get up so early,' a voice said behind her. She turned around, saw Link, and if it hadn't been for a swift kick to the ankle courtesy of Impa she would have fainted there and then. He looked if anything better than the first day she had met him, and the sun seemed to be shining brighter just because he was there. But she quickly reminded herself of what had happened yesterday, which helped, and cleared her throat.

'I was already up. I just didn't see the need to hurry,' she said with a sniff. Impa nodded at her, and went back into the safety of the castle. Link came over and led the way down a broad path in the middle of the garden while Sheik tried not to breathe too loudly.

'I wanted to apologise for yesterday,' Link told her.

'There's nothing to apologise for,' Sheik managed, wondering why it had gotten so hot all of a sudden. Her dress seemed to shrink several sizes every time Link looked at her.

'Still. I made you uncomfortable, and that's unforgivable. I don't know why you've decided to acknowledge my existence all of a sudden, but I'd like to take advantage of that change.'

'I haven't changed,' Sheik protested, worried that she was going to be found out, and by Link of all people.

'You have, Zelda, and there's no point denying it. It's a good change.' Sheik was silent. She didn't know how to respond to this, mostly because she wasn't sure whether to be pleased or worried. Obviously she was internally preening, because Link liked her more than Zelda, but on the other hand Link had clearly noticed the difference, and if she wasn't careful Link might start to suspect that she wasn't the same person.

'Why did you want to see me?' she asked, trying to steer Link away from the topic of her change.

'To apologise. And also because I wanted to spend time with you. We are supposed to be getting married, after all.'

'Ah yes,' Sheik replied. She'd almost forgotten that Zelda was engaged to this man.

'I assume your advisors also told you how well the talks went yesterday? You won't be able to put the wedding off for much longer, you know.'

'That won't stop me trying,' Sheik said, but her heart wasn't in it. If it up to her, she would have rushed off, found the nearest advisor and set the wedding date right there and then, for the next day. But sadly, Zelda didn't feel the same way.

'So, since we're going to be spending the rest of our lives together,' Link continued, and for a moment Sheik's heart leapt before she remembered that she wasn't the one who was marrying Link, 'I'd like to get to know you a bit more. I barely know anything about you, other than what my advisors have told me, which isn't much.' Privately, Sheik cheered. So Link didn't know much about Zelda? Excellent, because neither did she. Hopefully if Link asked her any difficult questions she could just answer with whatever she liked, and he'd never know.

'What do you want to know?' she asked. She was well aware that this was going against Impa's plan for her to keep her distance, but Impa was far away and Link was right here. Sheik would have let Link ask anything he liked up to and including the length of her nose hairs, just as long as he kept talking and looking at her like that. Link looked surprised that she was being so cooperative, but seized his opportunity.

'What do you think of me?' Sheik was taken aback.

'Seriously? Of all the things you could have asked about me, that's what you want to know?'

'Sure. It's the most important thing, isn't it? If you like me, great, if you don't like me, I'd better change that.' Sheik laughed despite herself.

'Alright then. But you've got work to do, because I do not like you in the slightest. I consider you to be an annoyance I could really do without right now, and I don't see why I'm being forced to marry you. I also think that my advisors should have a bit more faith and let me sort this political situation out myself without immediately resorting to marrying me off to the first conveniently single royal they can find.' Link laughed at this.

'You weren't kidding about disliking me. Well, I think I can work with that. And I agree, your advisors should have more faith in you. I suppose it's because, up until a few days ago, no-one knew you were so good at negotiating.' Sheik preened a little more.

'There's a lot they don't know about me. There's a lot _you_ don't know about me.'

'Oh yeah? Like what?'

'Lots of things. For instance, I bet you didn't know that I'm skim-reading world champion.'

'World champion?' Link asked with a laugh and a raised eyebrow.

'Alright, maybe not _world_ champion. But definitely kingdom champion. I mean, how else do you think I manage to read all these papers I have to sign?'

'It takes me hours to read all of my papers,' Link said wistfully.

'Well, that's very boring of you. If anything takes me longer than half a minute to read, I just pretend I've read the whole thing and sign it anyway.' Link laughed again at this.

'I must try that sometime. So what else don't I know about you? What do you normally do when you're not skim-reading or ignoring me?' Sheik thought about this. The honest response (stealing, pickpocketing, conning innocent market traders out of their apples) didn't seem appropriate, so she thought quickly.

'Coming up with new ways to avoid Zant,' she decided.

'Zant? Oh, that weird zombie guy?'

'I know, right? He totally looks like a zombie!'

'With those eyes as well! He gives me the creeps.'

'You don't know the half of it,' Sheik replied, shaking her head. In response to Link's enquiring look, she told him all about her most hated advisor, but left out the bit where she had balanced on a doorframe to avoid him. That would have been hard to explain, even for her. Link then told her about his advisors, most of whom sounded even more ancient than Zelda's Council.

'But at least I don't have Impa, always dragging me off at inopportune moments,' he said. Sheik blushed, realising that he was talking about her quick escape yesterday.

'Yeah, she can be annoying,' she replied, to keep her mind off it. 'But then again, she's only doing her duty. Or at least that's what she thinks.'

'Loyally serving you and your family for all eternity, huh? Sounds like a tough job.'

'I know. I could never spend my entire life serving someone else.'

'Me neither. Although technically I guess we're supposed to spend our lives serving our kingdoms.'

'Yeah, and how's that one working out for you?' They kept talking, telling each other about their lives (or at least Zelda's life), and the time passed so quickly that Sheik was shocked when Impa appeared from behind a tree, saying that the two of them had been missed at lunch and people had been searching for them all afternoon. She looked meaningfully up at the sky and Sheik realised that the sun was dipping worryingly close to the horizon, she hurriedly said her goodbyes and ran off with Impa in tow. When they got back to her room she ignored Impa's disapproving glare, closed the door went straight to bed and tried to sleep, knowing that the sooner she woke up, the sooner she could see Link again.

* * *

The next morning, Sheik woke up bright and early only to find herself confronted with a pile of paperwork. She moaned, she begged, she pulled her hair out, but Impa was firm.

'You haven't done any all week. So you don't get to go see Link until this lot is signed off.' Sheik smiled at that, noting that Impa had forgotten to say anything about reading it first. She dashed off signature after signature, to Impa's dismay, and was done within an hour.

'Can I go see Link now?' she asked breathlessly, shaking her tired hand. Impa glared, but she couldn't dampen Sheik's enthusiasm.

'Fine,' she said finally, standing to one side as Sheik sprinted past her. She found Link out in the garden, and stopped behind a convenient tree to adjust her appearance before going over to him. He looked surprised and happy to see her, getting up from his seat beneath a blooming cherry blossom tree.

'I wasn't expecting to see you today,' he said as they sat back down.

'Why not? Did you think things went so badly yesterday?' she asked, arranging her skirts. There seemed to be more skirt than usual in this dress, and Sheik kept getting lost. Every time she moved one fold another three appeared, and on a hot day like this she didn't appreciate having to wade through miles of her own clothing just to get from one side of a room to the other.

'No, I just thought you didn't like me. That's what you said yesterday.'

'Yes, but that was before you spent the day making yourself likeable,' Sheik pointed out. She knew she shouldn't be doing this, but she couldn't help it. Zelda could sort her own mess out for once. She was going to enjoy herself.

'I'm glad,' Link said, smiling at her. Sheik felt a gentle pressure on her hand and was shocked to find Link holding it. 'What?' he asked, seeing her expression.

'N-nothing, it's just…' she replied, trying to find a way to explain her sudden urge to scream for joy at the top of her lungs.

'It's just what?' he asked, and was it her imagination or was he moving closer? Great Farore, he was. The urge to scream was reaching fever pitch.

'Your Majesty?' an oily voice asked from behind her.

'What?' she snapped, annoyed to be interrupted. From the look on Link's face, so was he. And Sheik's mood didn't improve when she saw who the intruder was. Zant. Of course it was. Who else would interrupt her private time with someone else's fiancé?

'Your Majesty, I wondered if I might have a word?' Zant asked in his most polite tone. Sheik resisted the urge to shudder.

'No you might not have a word,' she said, turning away from him. 'I'm busy.'

'But your Majesty,' Zant insisted, and Sheik snapped her head back to him.

'Dammit, Zant! Can't you see we're having a moment?' Zant's expression darkened, but he bowed respectfully and backed away. When he had vanished from her sight, Sheik sighed in relief.

'Masterfully done,' Link said, smiling at her.

'He's got timing, you've got to give him that,' Sheik replied. 'Now, where were we?' In case Link didn't remember, she leant forward. Link just laughed, leaning back against the tree as she tried to muffle her sigh of disappointment.

'Some moment that was.'

'It really was,' Sheik said wistfully, before mentally slapping herself. 'Alright then. Tell me something.'

'What?'

'Anything. Just so Zant doesn't try to talk to me again. Tell me about your kingdom.' Link sighed and stared into space for a while.

'Faron is… well, it's a bunch of trees, really.'

'Oh.' Sheik sought in vain for a polite way to respond to a statement like that. 'Well… what is there other than trees?'

'Literally nothing. Like, seriously, it's a lot of trees. It's an entirely forested kingdom.'

'Yeah, but what else do you have, apart from the trees? Like, towns, cities, mountains… any distinguishing features.' Link stared blankly at her.

'We have trees. That's about it.' Sheik sighed.

'Okay, then. Tell me about the trees.'

'There are a lot of them. Did I mention that?' She elbowed him, hard. 'Alright, fine. Well, we have one lake, Lake Floria. It's actually quite pretty. Lots of waterfalls, that kind of thing.'

'Really?' Sheik asked, her eyes lighting up. She'd never seen a waterfall, only heard about them, but she would have loved to see one for herself. Never mind the fact that she would still never get to see a waterfall because she was never going to Faron. Her heart wasn't interested in subtleties like that.

'Yeah, loads of them. And the trees… alright, some of them are pretty impressive. There's one, the Great Tree, which is taller than this castle.'

'Wow!' Sheik breathed. 'I'd love to see that.' Link gave her a long, strange look, and Sheik immediately started to panic. She'd said something wrong, she knew it. Maybe Zelda had already been to Faron, or maybe she'd explicitly told Link she wasn't interested in trees, or maybe Sheik had slipped up in some other way. Whatever it was, Link had noticed. But before Sheik could come up with a way to cover for her mistake, Link shrugged.

'I'm glad, since you'll be seeing a lot of it. Once we're married, I think the arrangement is that we'll spend half our time in each kingdom. To be honest, I'm not over the moon at the thought of spending half my life away from my people, but Hyrule's a good kingdom too. And I guess it's not easy for you to leave your kingdom either.'

'Mm,' Sheik replied vaguely. She was sure Zelda didn't want to leave Hyrule for that long, but she personally couldn't have cared less. She didn't feel much of a bond to the kingdom or its citizens, and she certainly wouldn't have minded leaving it all behind to live with Link in Faron for the rest of her life. With a pang in her heart, she reminded herself that she was never going to see Faron, or the Great Tree or Lake Floria. Once Zelda returned, she would be sent back to her life as a thief, and Link would remain a distant memory. Maybe, if she was lucky, she would see him occasionally in town. But she would never be close to him again like this.

Of course, there would be a lot of good things about going back to her own life, as she reminded herself. No more Zant, for one thing. No more Impa either, although Sheik was starting to think she might miss Impa, just a little. But no more dresses, no more lies, no more deer in a landslide. If it wasn't for Link, she would have been more or less fine going back to her old life. But in the meantime, she was more than happy to sit beneath the tree with him, listening to tales of a kingdom she would never see.

* * *

She stayed with Link for the whole day, undisturbed by Zant or anyone else. They were sitting in a quieter part of the garden, away from the main paths, so they would be hard to find if Impa or anyone else was looking for them. Sheik still didn't know how Zant had tracked them down, but she wouldn't have put it past him to have been spying on her all day. Still, if he was spying he had the sense to keep quiet, so Sheik tried to forget about him. It wasn't hard, with Link there next to her. She rested her head on his shoulder, listening to him talk, but eventually she had to move to keep the setting sun out of her eyes. She stayed beside him though, shielding her eyes from the bright golden light.

'Are you alright?' he asked, noting the sun in her eyes.

'I'm fine. Maybe we should move, though?' she asked, getting up.

'Yes, it's getting late. It's nearly sunset! Wow, the time really goes quickly with you…' He glanced over at her, but she wasn't looking at him, too busy staring in horror at the sky. Link was right, the sun was setting! She had a minute, maybe even less than that, before she changed back into her own body right in front of Link! She thought frantically. What could she do? How could she get away from him? She could do the Deku Nut vanishing trick… if she had a nut. Which she did not.

The sun was already halfway-set now, and Sheik could feel her skin start to prickle. She looked at Link one final time, made up her mind, and ran for it. He stood there in shock for a few moments, then ran after her. She had to carry half a ton of skirt in her arms to stop it tripping her up, which slowed her down, but she was urged on by fear and a headstart.

She sprinted round the corner of the castle and skidded to a halt, looking back for Link. Just then the final rays of sunlight sank below the horizon, and she swore as she changed back into her own body. She looked around, but although she could hear Link calling for her, he sounded as though he was far away. That meant one less thing to worry about. Now she just had to get back into her room without being seen by anyone. But Link was between her and the entrance, and anyway it hardly seemed like a good idea to stroll into the castle through the main doors when she wasn't in Zelda's body.

She looked up at the wall behind her, and smiled. It seemed as though the Goddesses had finally started to take pity on her, because she had managed to wind up directly below her own window. Even better, there was a thick growth of ivy up the wall, so it wouldn't be too hard to climb. At least, it wouldn't be hard to climb if she was in her own bodysuit, but in this dress it was a nigh on impossible task. She looked down at herself, and frowned. Then she picked up as much skirt as she could and tossed it over her shoulder. She reached up and grabbed a handful of ivy, and started to climb.

Halfway up a gust of wind blew her skirt into her eyes, but some quick shoulder work pushed it back into its rightful place, and before too long she was pulling herself over the window of her room. She lay on the floor, panting, but managed to haul herself up and look out. Link was nowhere to be seen. She sighed in relief, and lay back down. She was so glad that she hadn't been seen by Link that she forgot to check for anyone else. So she completely failed to see the pair of glowing orange eyes watching from below.

* * *

'There you are! Where have you been? I've been looking for you all afternoon!' Sheik raised her head from the ground to see who it was, then dropped it again. She really wasn't in the mood for a lecture, but she suspected that she was going to get one. 'Please tell me you were back in here before sunset. And why are you covered in ivy?'

'Long story. Don't ask. The important thing is, Link didn't see anything. Although I did run off with no explanation.' Impa folded her arms.

'Did you spend the whole day with him again? Sheik, what happened to not getting too close to him?' Sheik was too shocked that Impa had actually used her name to respond.

'I couldn't help it!' she managed eventually. 'I'm sorry, but I just can't hate him like Zelda does!' She hauled herself over to her bed, and sighed. 'Impa, I think I'm in love with him.' Impa rolled her eyes and sighed loudly.

'Old news. You said that the moment you met him.'

'Well, I was wrong then! When I first saw him I thought he was hot - and don't get me wrong, I still absolutely think that. But in the last couple of days I've gotten to know him, and I actually really like him. Everything about him, not just the way he looks. Although that helps tremendously.'

'So you're saying it wasn't love at first sight?' Impa asked incredulously, helping Sheik out of her dress.

'I don't believe in love at first sight and neither do you,' Sheik said, annoyed that Impa wasn't taking this seriously. 'But I do believe in love at fourth meeting, and that's what's happened. I met him, and I love him. It's as simple as that. And because of that, I can't pretend that I hate him. I'm sorry, but it's just too hard.' Impa sighed again.

'You're serious about this, aren't you?'

'Yes!' Sheik said, exasperated. 'And before you go on about me being weak-'

'I'm not going to. I know you don't believe me, but I know what love feels like too. And I know it's hard to fight it, especially when you don't really want to. So we have to live with the fact that you're in love with a man you're absolutely not allowed to be in love with, and decide where to go from here.' Sheik sighed, going back over to the window.

'Any chance it can wait until morning?' she asked hopefully. Impa thought about it, then nodded.

'Alright. But be careful. We don't want him looking for you and finding you like this.' Sheik stayed by the window as she left, listening for any sound from the garden below her. Suddenly Link emerged into her view, and she ducked back. He was calling for Zelda, still busy searching for her. She sighed, resisting the urge to reply. What she wanted more than anything else was to go down there and introduce herself, to tell Link that _she_ was the Zelda he had been speaking to, the one who had changed, the one who loved him. But she played the conversation in her head, and decided against it.

 _Hi, I'm Sheik. I'm a thief who's impersonating your fiancée. Oh, and I'm also in love with you. Please marry me. I'm not crazy, I promise._ She shook her head. No, that wouldn't work. In fact, any version of Sheik and Link wasn't going to work. Link and Zelda, now that was going to work whether Zelda wanted it to or not. But Sheik, a lowly thief, a criminal, had no future with the prince of another kingdom. Any daydreams about that future were pointless, and she knew she shouldn't even think about it. But the problem with those daydreams was that they were so very enticing.

* * *

A/N: Aw. Slight predicament for Sheik there, but I'm sure she'll find a way around it. And no prizes for guessing who was watching Sheik in the garden. Tomorrow's chapter is a fun one, to say the least...


	8. Chapter 8: Zant

Sheik bounced out of bed the next morning, ready for another day with Link. But one look at Impa's thunderous expression made her rethink her plans.

'I was talking to Link earlier,' she said icily, and Sheik gulped.

'Is he… annoyed that I ran off?'

'Not annoyed, no. He's mainly confused, because he enjoyed his time with you yesterday a lot. And he thought that you were warming up to him too.'

'Things are pretty tropical between us,' Sheik admitted, but quietly enough that Impa couldn't hear her.

'Sheik, what part of "keep your distance" did you not understand?'

'What part of "I'm in love with him" didn't _you_ understand? I'm sorry, I'm just not that good an actress.'

'Clearly,' Impa said scornfully. 'Well, I've already tried to do damage control as much as possible by telling Link that you don't want to see him today.' Sheik frowned.

'When did I say that?'

'You didn't. I did. You have another meeting with the Royal Council today, and after that you are coming straight back here where you will sit quietly and behave yourself.' Sheik's frown deepened. That sounded highly unlikely. Impa shook her head disapprovingly as she helped Sheik into her dress. 'At least Link doesn't seem to suspect anything yet. He knows you've changed, but he doesn't know why and he's too happy with the change to question it.'

'Oh yeah, about that,' Sheik said nervously, fearing Impa's reaction. 'Yesterday we were talking about his kingdom and I told him that I wanted to see it, and he gave me a really weird look. Did Zelda not want to go to Faron or something?'

'She couldn't have imagined anything worse,' Impa said, sighing. 'Partly because she hated anything to do with Link, but mostly because she hates the thought of spending her life in a forest. As a child she was sent to the southern forests of this kingdom every summer, to "enjoy nature", as her father put it. As a result she has cultivated a pathological hatred of nature, and forests in particular. So yes, I can understand why Link was confused when you said you wanted to see his forest kingdom.'

'Oh. Well, I think I managed alright other than that slip. Aren't you proud of me?' Impa just sighed again.

'Come on. We have a meeting to go to.'

'You know, I could have sworn I just had one of these meetings.'

'Yes, that's how the week works,' Impa replied condescendingly. 'You have seven days, and then they repeat on a loop. You have a meeting every week.'

'Is anything important happening today?' Sheik asked, hoping it wasn't.

'No, the meeting should be short. The Council are eager to go back to negotiating with Link's Council.' Sheik sighed as Impa dragged her out of the room.

'I'm still going to have to see Zant thought, aren't I? Oh joy.'

* * *

Sheik stared at an ant weaving its way back and forth across the varnished surface of the table. Her advisors were busily talking over her, so it seemed as though she wasn't needed except as a figurehead for the meeting. Unfortunately that still meant she had to sit there, bored out of her mind, pretending she both knew and cared what was going on. Since this was not the case, even the "short" meeting felt as though it had been going on for at least twenty years, and probably a lot longer than that. But finally the advisors managed to bore one another into submission, and Sheik's head shot up as if on a spring.

'Are we done?' she hissed to Impa.

'Yes, I think so. But someone might want to stay behind to talk to you.' Their heads swivelled in unison to the seat which, until a moment ago, had been occupied by Zant. To Sheik's surprise he had been mostly silent during the meeting, staring into space as if he was thinking deeply about something. Sheik wished she knew what it was. She also wished she knew where Zant was hurrying off to, slinking out a side door while the rest of the advisors streamed out the main doors. She narrowed her eyes and glanced at Impa, but the other Sheikah hadn't seen Zant.

'Um… I'll meet you in my room in a few minutes,' she said, rising from her chair. 'I just need to, um, see to something…' Impa moved in front of her, blocking her path.

'You'd better not be sneaking off to see Link.'

'What?' Sheik asked, trotting out the good ol' "injured innocent" expression which had always served her so well.

'Don't think I don't know what you're up to,' Impa warned her, waving a finger. Sheik paused while she tried to decode the double negative, and gave up after a moment.

'I'm not going to see Link. He's meeting with his advisors today anyway, so he's busy. I just need to check something.' Impa frowned, and Sheik silently urged her to make up her mind. Zant was already out of her sight; if she didn't go after him in the next minute or so she would lose him.

'Fine,' Impa said, and Sheik took off, straight towards the side door. 'But I expect to see you up there in ten minutes! Not one moment later!' Impa yelled after her. But Sheik was barely listening, racing through the door and nearly tumbling headlong down a steep flight of stairs beyond it. They went down in a narrow spiral staircase, and Sheik descended hesitantly.

She had never been in this part of the castle before, and she had no idea where the staircase led. There were no windows, only the occasional smoky torch to supply the ambience which Sheik's sense of narrative required. The villain had run off down a sort-of-secret staircase, so that staircase _had_ to be lit only by smoky torches. Otherwise there was no justice in the world.

She kept going, and had soon lost all sense of direction. But there was a door at the bottom which Sheik inched open, peering out carefully. Her thief's instincts were taking over, and the hairs on the back of her neck stood to attention. The door opened into a dark room, lit by more torches, and Sheik cautiously went in. Something cold and hard clinked against her foot, and she muffled a gasp as she realised that it was a chain. She was in the dungeons.

'Okay…' she whispered to herself. 'Just stay calm. Zant's down here somewhere. Besides, it's your castle. Even if he does find you here, what's he going to do? You have every right to be here.' But that didn't offer much comfort. No-one knew where she was, not even Impa. If she caught Zant doing something he wasn't supposed to be doing, all he had to do was hit her hard on the head with one of these chains. Then he could spout some rubbish about how she'd tripped and fallen, and no-one would ever know what had happened. The thought made her shiver.

She was about to edge further into the room when she heard footsteps approaching, and shrank back into the shadows. A… thing emerged into the pool of torchlight. Sheik knew "thing" wasn't very politically correct, but she honestly could not come up with any other way to describe what she was seeing. The thing looked like someone had tried to mould a man out of putty, having only heard stories of what a man was supposed to look like.

It was humanoid, just about, but with elongated arms which dragged on the ground while its legs were barely a third of the length. Its neck was stretched up from its broad shoulders, ending in a face with pale blue skin and glowing red eyes. The whole appearance reminded Sheik of a certain someone, and she realised that this creature must be a Twili, the same race as Zant. She had never seen another one before, but she had no doubt that this one would stay with her in her nightmares. At that moment another nightmarish figure stepped from the shadows, but at least Sheik recognised this one. Zant checked to make sure there was no-one else in the dungeon, his gaze sweeping over the pool of shadow which concealed Sheik. When he was satisfied, he turned to the other Twili.

'There has been a change to our plans,' he said in a low voice. The Twili's impassive face didn't change, but its voice held a note of surprise.

'You no longer want me to kill the princess?' it asked, and Sheik shoved her fist in her mouth to muffle her gasp. Zant was hiring an _assassin_? To kill Zelda? She knew there was no love lost between the Princess and her most hated advisor, but even so this shocked her. Why would Zant want Zelda dead? And anyway, what was this mysterious change in plans?

'Oh, I still need Zelda gone,' Zant replied with a slight smile which exposed his pointed teeth. 'But I have discovered something which complicates matters. The Zelda in the castle at this moment is not the real princess. She is an imposter, who changes back into her real form at sunset.' Sheik was glad that her fist was still in her mouth, because otherwise she was sure she would have screamed.

 _Zant knows! He knows! How could he possibly know?_ But her treacherous memory replayed the scene from the night before. She had been so anxious to get away from Link that she had completely forgotten about the possibility of anyone else seeing her. Come to think of it, Zant had wanted to speak to her earlier that day, but had gone away without much comment when she had told him to. It was easy for her to believe that he might have stayed nearby, and seen her when she changed back into her own body.

But if he had such damaging information, why hadn't he used it? The entire Royal Council had been at the meeting earlier, it would have been the easiest thing in the world for Zant to expose her in front of everyone. If he was keeping something as big as this to himself, he must have something else planned. Sheik shivered as she strained her ears, trying to make out what Zant was saying, but he lowered his voice even further.

'My plan only requires Zelda to be out of the way, which she must be now, if there's an imposter in her place. I no longer need you to murder Zelda in her own palace, and risk being found out. All I need to do is expose the imposter, who will be executed for treason. And at the same time, I get rewarded for revealing her.'

'But what about when the real Zelda comes back?' the Twili asked, in a voice so low Sheik could barely hear. 'Everyone will congratulate you for exposing this imposter, but as soon as the Princess returns things will go back to the way they were. What do you get out of it?'

'Ah, that's where you come in. Once I have exposed the imposter I can accuse her of anything I like, including Zelda's murder. Then all you have to do is make sure that the real Zelda doesn't come back. My spies haven't been able to find her yet, so I assume she has left Hyrule, but as soon as she returns I will be the first to know. Then you will deal with her, and no-one will be any the wiser.'

'You think people will believe that the imposter killed Zelda?' the Twili asked, a slight frown forming.

'Of course! And besides, evidence is easily forged and easily planted. It'll be my word against hers.' _Oh Din_ , Sheik thought. _It will be, won't it? He's going to expose me, and then even Impa won't be able to save me. I'll be executed. They'll kill me. And then this assassin is going to kill Zelda. Why is he doing this? And more importantly, how do I stop him?_ But to Sheik's surprise, the Twili was hesitating.

'What's the problem?' Zant hissed impatiently. 'The deal is the same as before. You kill Zelda, I pay you. The only difference is that now you don't have to sneak past every guard in the castle to kill her, you just have to surprise her in some forest somewhere.'

'I don't know,' the Twili replied, looking back at the door. Sheik found herself praying that the Twili's conscience would kick in. After all, what kind of despicable creature would accept payment to kill someone? More to the point, what kind of despicable creature would pay someone to kill someone? A despicable creature like Zant, whose tone had turned persuasive.

'Think what _you'll_ get out of this. I'll be able to make this worth your while when I'm _king_ …' Sheik couldn't help it. A loud gasp escaped her mouth, and both Twili's heads shot over to where she was. She moved quickly, managing to slip back through the door just as Zant strode over to the patch of shadows where she had been hiding only moments earlier. She could hear his breathing, mere inches away from her. The door was still open a crack, just enough for her to see him turn back to the other Twili.

'I'll send you details later. I expect you to be ready as soon as I can find Zelda. I'll deal with the imposter.' With that he wrenched open the door, just as Sheik took off up the staircase. She raced up it, thanking the Goddesses that she was wearing soft boots which muffled her rapid footsteps.

She could hear Zant coming up the staircase behind her as she shot through the door at the top, remembering just in time not to slam it shut. She raced across the hall, skidded on the smooth marble floor, and momentum carried her around the corner and out of sight just in time, as Zant emerged from the door and looked around suspiciously. She leant against the wall, trying to calm her breathing, before racing through the castle to find Impa.

* * *

'You took your time! I was about to come look for you,' Impa said sternly as Sheik entered her room, panting heavily. One look at her flushed face deepened Impa's frown, and she folded her arms. 'You had better not have been to see Link.' It took Sheik a moment to work out what Impa was implying, but when she did her blush only deepened.

'For the last time, I was not seeing Link! This was about Zant!'

'Oh. Well, that's a different matter entirely,' Impa said, calming down.

'Yeah, I think he's planning something!'

'When isn't he? But whatever it is, I suggest you leave it to the guards to sort out,' Impa said, coming over and smoothing Sheik's dress down. 'Remember, you have an afternoon of being on your best behaviour ahead of you.'

'But-' Sheik protested as she was led over to a desk piled high with paperwork.

'No. You are not running off again to try to sort out some imagined plot by Zant. I know he's an arse, but he's also a member of the Royal Council and you can't just go around accusing him of things. Besides, even if he is up to something, what could you do about it? You'd only make a mess of it. No, leave these things to the guards. It'll take more than Zant to get you out of doing some proper work for once.' Sheik opened her mouth, about to protest that she had proof, when she stopped herself. She didn't have proof, did she? She _knew_ that Zant was planning to have Zelda killed, but her only evidence of that was an eavesdropped conversation, and that wouldn't stand up in any court of law.

She knew she still had to tell Impa, to warn her of the impending danger, but the older Sheikah's words had stung. _You'd only make a mess of it._ The cheek of that woman! When had she ever made a mess of anything? Alright, most days of her life, but that wasn't the point! She had to stop Zant and she knew that if the guards got involved Zant would just lie his way out of it. Quite possibly by exposing Sheik, so she'd be executed, and then he'd be free to kill Zelda anyway. No, she had to stop him herself, and if Impa was going to be like that then she'd just have to do it without her.

But she did still need _some_ help from Impa. She knew that Zant's plot somehow involved him killing Zelda and then becoming king, so there was no need to search for a motive, but how did Zant think he would become king? Sheik didn't know much about royalty, but she did think the line of succession involved slightly more than brutally murdering the current royal.

'Impa…' she began.

'Whatever you want, the answer's no,' Impa replied from the couch, not looking up from her book.

'I just have a question. Say the worst was to happen and something happened to Zelda, what would happen then? Since she doesn't have any kids, I mean. Would Link become king or something?'

'Only if Zelda died after they were already married. If she died before that…' Impa paused. 'This is all hypothetical, yes? You're just inquiring? You don't have any reason to be asking this, do you?'

'Oh, no reason at all!' Sheik said with her most sincere expression. She knew it was wrong to put Zelda's life and her own life in danger out of sheer pettiness, but she was determined to prove Impa wrong. And that meant doing this by herself.

'Good. Then… well, the kingdom would be thrown into chaos. That's part of the reason why the Council is so keen on this marriage: the sooner Zelda marries, the sooner she can have children, and the sooner the line of succession is secured. But if the worst were to happen, the Council would take over and try to run the kingdom as best they could. Of course, the kingdom would need a permanent ruler, and in those circumstances the Council would probably take anyone who was of reasonably noble blood and who acted like they knew what they were doing. One of the Council members would be a good pick. Anyone who took charge in a crisis like that and stopped the kingdom falling into ruin would be first in line to be the next ruler.'

'A-ha,' Sheik said thoughtfully. So that was Zant's plan. Expose her, announce that Zelda was dead, take charge in the inevitable chaos, and garner so much support and respect for his actions that he would be made king. It had a certain logic to it, Sheik supposed. She might almost have admired the plan, if it hadn't involved her death. So now she knew what Zant was up to, all she had to do was stop him. It sounded simple enough, but she had to get _proof_. That was the hard part. She could spread all the rumours about Zant she wanted, but without proof it would be his word against hers, and all anyone had to do was wait until sunset to see that he was right. But what proof could she possibly use?

She thought back to the conversation she had overheard. The Twili assassin could be proof, but she had no idea how to find them and she doubted they would talk anyway. What else, what else… _I'll send you details later._ Those were Zant's words. She liked the idea of sending. That sounded like something substantial. A letter, perhaps, or at the very least a memo. But at any rate, something with Zant's seal and signature which she could wave around as proof of his plan. She smiled to herself. Yes, that would do it.

'I do hope that smile is related to the enormous stack of paperwork you still have to do,' Impa commented.

'Absolutely,' Sheik replied, throwing herself into the task of reading and signing with such vigour that Impa wondered if she had been hit on the head. Sheik worked diligently all day, barely stopping for lunch, and when Impa finally left her for the day Sheik patted her on the back. 'I think we did good work today,' she said, looking pleased with herself.

'Er… yes…' Impa said distractedly. Sheik's behaviour was really starting to worry her. The last time she had looked this happy was when she had been preparing to haggle with the Goron ambassador. Then again, that hadn't turned out so badly, and she had to admit that Sheik had more or less behaved herself, so she decided that it was probably alright to leave the door unlocked.

Sheik smiled as she heard the click of the door but not the click of the lock. Then she looked down at her fist, clenched around something she had lifted from Impa's pocket when she had been busily patting the other Sheikah on the back to distract her. Once a thief, always a thief. She opened her hand carefully, looking down at the Deku Nut she held. _It's going to be a fun night_ , she thought with a grin.

* * *

She was struggling into her bodysuit even before the sun had set, but once she was back in her own body she pulled the bandages out of the chest and started to wind them around her face. There was a good chance that someone was going to see her tonight, and even though Zant would probably instantly recognise her even with the bandages, if a maid or someone else saw her in passing they at least wouldn't be able to see her face and tell the guards what she looked like. It wouldn't be much protection, especially if she was caught, but she wasn't going to get caught. She repeated the mantra to herself under her breath as she prepared herself. _I will not get caught, I will not get caught, I will not get caught..._

She stared at herself in the mirror for a few moments, checked that she was unrecognisable, then set off through the castle. She knew vaguely where Zant's room was, and most of the castle's inhabitants were currently feasting in the Great Hall downstairs, so she would have time to search. She stuck to the shadows as much as possible, her long-ignored Sheikah instincts coming back into play. More than once she went completely unnoticed as a maid passed by, and she breathed a quick prayer of thanks to whatever god looked after the Sheikah. She wasn't entirely sure there was one, but she would take any divine help offered tonight.

Finally she reached a long corridor of rooms where the Council members lived. She opened each door in turn, wondering how she would know which room was Zant's. But as she opened the next door she felt a rush of freezing air escape the room, and knew she was in the right place. Who else would live in a room which was several degrees colder than the rest of the castle? No wonder Zant looked like a zombie, since his room felt like a morgue.

Sheik shivered, half-closing the door. She knew she should shut it all the way, but she didn't want to cut off her escape route. She also didn't want to be trapped in this eerie room. One wall was lined with bookshelves holding books in some foreign language, presumably Twili, but Sheik could see no other writing, nothing which could possibly be the "details" he had promised the assassin. The desk had been swept clean, with not so much as an ink splodge to be seen. Sheik sighed, and tried to think.

 _Okay, imagine you're an evil murdering bastard. Where would you hide what's essentially a death warrant?_ She thought about it. _Not in plain sight, obviously. A secret drawer or something…_ She scanned the desk, feeling her way along it for any hidden catches. Nothing revealed itself to her, so she turned her attention to the rest of the room. The pictures were lifted from their hooks, the books were removed one by one in case any of them was hiding a secret switch, but there was nothing. It was a perfectly ordinary room. Sheik frowned, folding her arms.

 _Where would I hide something like that? There_ has _to be a secret drawer._ Her frown deepened. _But then… if I actually had something like that… I wouldn't leave it lying around in my room, not even in a secret drawer. Especially if I thought my top-secret assassination plan had been overheard by someone earlier. No, if I had something like that… there's only one place I would keep it. And that's with me at all times._ There was a sound behind her, a kind of silvery whisper. She spun round, and gulped as she saw Zant standing in the doorway. He bowed, keeping the sword he held perfectly level.

'Good evening, your Majesty,' he said in a voice dripping with sarcasm.

* * *

'Erm…' Sheik replied, backing away slightly. Zant carefully closed the door behind him. _Not getting out that way_ , Sheik thought, taking a few more steps back.

'I was wondering when you'd turn up,' Zant said conversationally.

'Were you?' Sheik replied, keeping her eyes fixed on the sword. It moved hypnotically back and forth, getting ever closer.

'Yes. I assume you're looking for this?' Zant asked, reaching into a pocket and withdrawing a slim letter. Sheik almost lunged for it, but stopped herself just in time. _Okay_ , she thought. _This is it. Deer in a landslide. I've slipped, I'm off-balance, but I haven't been crushed yet. If I can just manage to get to safe ground, I'll be fine. That's the letter I want, right there. I just need to get it from him somehow…_ She folded her arms, raising an eyebrow.

'What's that, your shopping list?' she asked with as much disdain as she could manage, which wasn't much. It was enough to make Zant frown, however.

'No, you moron. It's the letter I'm going to send to a very good friend of mine, who will then go and kill your little friend Zelda.'

'My _friend_? Please. Zelda is a lot of things, but my friend is not one of them. Now how exactly do you expect me to believe that _that_ is a death warrant? It's probably just a folded-up newspaper! You're trying to scare me! And it's _not_ going to work.' She raised an eyebrow, in what she considered to be quite an impressive manner. She had seen Impa's eyebrow-raising enough times by now, and had learnt from the master. Zant's frown deepened, and he opened the letter, holding it up in front of her. _Ah_ , Sheik thought. _He wants me to be sure that it's real. He wants me to be scared. So he'll do anything to convince me._ She grinned very slightly. Maybe this was going to be easier than she thought.

'Sorry, I can't read Twili,' she said, pretending to squint at the sheet of paper he was brandishing at her.

'It's in Hylian! Or can't you even read that?' he sneered. Sheik leant closer, trying to ignore the sword waving around near her left ear.

'How do I know you even wrote that?' she asked, taking another step forward.

'Maybe because I signed it? Or because it has my seal on it? You can act as ignorant as you want, but this letter is all I need to destroy you and the Princess, and you know it.'

'I'm not really sure what I know, looking at that,' Sheik commented, leaning close enough that she could almost touch the letter. 'Ye gods, your handwriting is atrocious!' Zant paused, put off by her attitude. _Nearly there, nearly there…_ 'So what you're saying,' she said, taking one final step closer and reaching into her pocket, 'is that this letter, in effect, proves that you are plotting to kill Zelda and thereby committing an act of treason?' Zant thought about this.

'I suppose…' he said, sounding unsure now. His mind was running ahead of the conversation, and had just realised where Sheik was going with this.

'Then I'll be taking that,' Sheik said, reaching out and snatching the letter from his grasp in one smooth movement. Then, without giving Zant time to react, she hurled the Deku Nut in her other hand on the ground. Zant raised a hand to shield his eyes, but as soon as the flash faded he brandished his sword, ready to make short work of the intruder. His mood, already darkened by the thought of his schemes being revealed by a common thief, was not improved when he saw that said common thief was nowhere to be seen.

He yelled for the guards, and Sheik could hear the sound of many heavy boots clumping along the corridor outside at high speed. However, this knowledge had to be temporarily put to one side in favour of a more pressing problem: she was currently hanging from the window-ledge by the tips of her fingers, over a forty-foot drop onto solid rock, and her grip was slipping.

* * *

A/N: An actual and literal cliffhanger. Or window-hanger. Close enough. Anyway, you'll have to wait until tomorrow to see if Sheik survives this!


	9. Chapter 9: An Embarrassing Escape

A/N: Back to the window-hanger! I had a lot of fun with this chapter, so hopefully it's good.

* * *

Sheik cursed, but stopped after a few profanities as she realised that in a situation like this, insulting the gods really wasn't a good idea. Instead she cursed herself for getting into this situation, but what choice had she had? When the nut had exploded she had moved instinctively, taking heed of Impa's advice. There were no convenient bushes in Zant's room, so instead she had flung herself head-first out of the (mercifully open) window. It was a miracle that she had managed to grab onto the ledge.

She clung on tighter, digging her fingernails into the stone of the ledge, but it was only a matter of time before she lost her grip. Could she pull herself up and back into the room? Possibly, if she was lucky, but unfortunately Zant didn't seem to have read the script. Everyone knew that when you found a thief in your room, and that thief then escaped, you ran straight _out_ of the room in search of guards, leaving the room conveniently empty and allowing the thief to climb back in and make their escape through the open door. You weren't supposed to remain stubbornly in your room and wait for the guards to come to you. That was just unsporting.

Okay, going back in there wasn't an option. Neither was staying here, at least not for more than a minute or so. Either she let go or gravity was going to do it for her. Right, what were her other options? Surely if she let go, there would be something to grab onto? An old castle like this had drainpipes leading from every crack in the masonry, ivy which was so deeply rooted that it was practically holding up the stonework, and walls which were colonised to an almost alarming degree with gargoyles and statues of scantily-clad women which for some reason counted as Art (Sheik strongly suspected the architect of this castle had been a man).

She glanced around, then glared up at the sky. In defiance of all probability, Zant's window was located on the only patch of wall that had neither drainpipes, ivy, nor statues. It was as though he made this intentionally hard for her. Her fingers slipped a stomach-twisting millimetre, and a few crumbs of rubble parted company from the ledge, landing squarely on Sheik's nose as they fell.

'Thank you,' she muttered sarcastically to the universe in general. She could hear shouts from inside the room, and realised that the guards had arrived. And despite the fact that the Royal Guard had the combined intelligence of a brain-dead sparrow, they were methodical, and sooner or later one of them would think to check outside the conveniently open window.

But as Sheik slipped further, she could at least take comfort in the fact that if they did look outside, they wouldn't find anything. Not unless they looked right down to the ground at the splodge of miscellaneous mess which was all that remained of a thief who had fallen there several minutes earlier. _Right, time to think_ , she told herself firmly. _Come on, you're arguably the smartest person in this castle, and unlike everyone else in this castle you've done this before! Alright, not this exactly, but similar things! So climbing up won't work, and neither will climbing down. What else is there…_

She risked another dizzying look down, and frowned. An open window was directly below her, light streaming out of it. And that wasn't the only thing coming out of the window. Someone was airing their laundry on the ledge, and although Sheik instinctively blushed at the look of the, ahem, _racier_ items on display, she also saw a decent and more importantly _strong_ -looking sheet. Would someone have had the forethought to secure that inside? Otherwise grabbing onto it as she fell would only save the guards the bother of covering up her corpse. Well, she would have to hope.

She took several deep breaths, trying to work up the nerve to let go. Unfortunately, it seemed as though even the gentle passage of air from her breathing was too much for the crumbling stonework of the ledge, which chose that moment to disintegrate completely.

* * *

Sheik plummeted downwards, only just remembering not to scream, and grabbed desperately onto something white as she passed it. It was the sheet, whose other end, from the sound of furniture scraping inside the room, was held under something heavy. As long as Sheik was careful, it would take her weight. She reached up, trying to find a better handhold, and grasped something small and red which came away in her hand. She frowned, bringing it up to her face. It was… lacy.

Suddenly Sheik realised what she was holding and dropped it as though it had suddenly become scaldingly hot. A shudder ran through her, not helped by a horrified curiosity as to what someone could possibly need an item of clothing like _that_ for. On reflection, she decided that she would rather not know, and focused on hauling herself up on the sheet. She gratefully pulled herself over the window-ledge, collapsing in a heap once inside.

She took a moment to recover her breath, stood up, readjusted her bandages, checked that she still had Zant's letter, and strode purposefully towards the door. Or at least that was her intention, until she was confronted by a maid. Sheik's eyes widened as she recognised her as the maid who brought her breakfast every morning. _That… thing I just dropped was hers! This is going to be so awkward tomorrow_ , she thought, suppressing another shudder. _Wait, does she wear things like that normally? Yeugh!_

She wondered why the maid hadn't screamed yet, but reminded herself that in her full bandaged glory she could easily pass for a man. Yes, the maid was definitely giving her a Look, an expression which had earned its capital letter. Clearly the maid was a certain kind of young woman who read a certain kind of novel which, in poor lighting, could technically come under the broad umbrella of romance, and entertained certain ideas about handsome young men climbing in at her window on a dark night. Still, this handsome young man was more bandaged and less eager to sweep her off her feet than the maid had been expecting, and Sheik could see her wavering towards screaming. She had to do something quickly, but she wasn't sure what.

 _Um…_ she thought, still staring. Her common sense had run off and hid the moment she had launched herself out of Zant's window, but her thief's sense was less cowardly, and now it was tingling. _Go on_ , it urged her slyly. _No-one will ever know. She's certainly not going to tell anyone._ With a quick prayer to the Goddesses to forgive her, and also if possible to avert their eyes, Sheik ran forward and put her arms around the maid in one quick movement. She brought her face towards the other girl's, making sure there was still a generous inch between the maid's mouth and Sheik's own heavily bandaged one, but the suggestion was enough.

The maid swooned theatrically, raising a hand to her brow as her eyelids fluttered. Sheik took advantage of this to hastily prop the girl in a chair, running for the door before the maid recovered and realised that things weren't going to go any further. But some deep-rooted and previously-undiscovered sense of decency made Sheik pause, and she turned back awkwardly.

'Um… sorry about your… laundry,' she said in as gruff a tone as she could manage. 'One of your… undergarments… isn't there anymore.' "Is lying in a ditch several storeys below us" would have been more accurate, but Sheik didn't want to upset the poor girl.

'It's fine,' the maid said dreamily. 'You can keep it. To remind you of me.' Clearly she had misunderstood, but since Sheik didn't think she could set the record straight without throwing up she left quickly, closing the door behind her. Outside she shuddered, a real, proper shudder which ran right from the top of her spine to the tips of her toes, bounced off the inside of her boots and radiated back up again, meeting a second shudder halfway up.

 _I despair of young women today_ , she though primly, then sighed as she realised that she was turning into Impa. _Wait, does she think this way about me? No, whatever other stains she may think are on my soul, no-one can accuse me of possessing skimpy red lingerie. Yeugh indeed!_

* * *

She snuck back to her room, but didn't encounter anyone on the way. She assumed that everyone was gathering around Zant's room, but as soon as she got back to her own room she quickly changed out of her bandages and bodysuit, just in case. But before she put her clothes back in the chest, she removed Zant's letter and carried it carefully over to her desk. She scanned it carefully, squinting as she tried to decode Zant's handwriting. She hadn't been joking before, it really was terrible. But she knew it was unwise to go around showing people this letter as proof without having read it first, so she battled on through the scrawls. What she read made her frown.

Zant's "details" included the precise location where Zelda had last been seen, almost a week ago, near Hyrule's western border. That, from Sheik's tenuous knowledge of geography, was the border they shared with the Gerudo Desert. _Why would Zelda be going to the desert?_ she wondered. _Aren't we supposed to be enemies with that lot?_ But she had bigger things to worry about than Zelda's location. Zant's letter instructed the assassin to go over to the western border, to be ready when Zelda returned. In the meantime, Zant said, he would deal with the imposter.

Sheik put the letter down thoughtfully. The problem she had was that, although this letter was exactly the proof she needed to expose Zant, it also incriminated her. Yes, it proved that Zant was plotting to kill the Princess, but it also proved that the Princess who was exposing him was in fact an imposter. Sheik sighed. This really was very uncooperative of Zant. If only he could have written a slightly different letter, one which incriminated him but not Sheik. She frowned back at the letter. If only…

* * *

She was still at her desk the next morning when Impa woke her, looking worried.

'Wassgoinon?' Sheik asked blearily, trying to unglue her cheek from the cold wood of the desk.

'You need to get up, now. Zant's making an announcement.'

'What?!' Sheik asked, suddenly awake. 'What announcement? What's he doing?'

'I don't know, no-one does. But he's asked the entire Royal Council to gather, and he wants you to be present too. I assume Link and his Council will be there as well. Zant's up to something, I know he is. I just wish I knew what.' Sheik glanced back at her desk, where Zant's letter lay half-hidden in a pile of other paperwork. She knew exactly what Zant was up to, and the fact that he was going public didn't bode well for her. She had thought that, after last night, he would have wanted to keep as quiet about all this as possible, but clearly he had a different plan. She grabbed the letter, and nodded to Impa.

'Let's go.' She hurried down to the Great Hall, trying not to let her apprehension show. If this went wrong… The entire Council was already there, and so was Link. Sheik sighed. If she messed up, she would not only be executed for treason, she would also embarrass herself in front of Link. She failed to see how this could get any worse. But just then, the Goddesses proved that they had a sense of humour when Zant appeared as if out of thin air right behind her.

'Good morning, your Majesty,' he said jovially, as if last night had never happened. He knew who she was, Sheik was sure of it. He was mocking her, and the thought made her fists clench.

'Why are you doing this?' she asked. 'You know I've got that letter. All I need to do is read it out, and it'll prove what you're doing.'

'Yes, and at the same time you'll be sentencing yourself to death. How annoying it must be for you, to have gone to all that trouble to steal the letter, only to find that it's useless.'

'Oh, is that what you think?' Sheik asked with a raised eyebrow. 'It's useless? Well then, what do you expect me to do? Sit quietly while you expose me?'

'Exactly. I'm going to make you a deal. Give me the letter, and I'll make sure that when you're convicted your sentence is commuted to life imprisonment. Or keep the letter, for all the good it'll do you, and you'll be executed tomorrow.' Sheik glared at him. She knew as well as Zant did that he had no intention of commuting her sentence. Once she handed over the letter, he would be calling as loud as anyone for her to be executed. She looked down at it, smiled slightly, then looked back at Zant.

'You've got this all planned out, haven't you? Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but you've made a mistake.' Zant frowned.

'I am not in the habit of making mistakes.'

'Then I must say you're doing fantastically well for a beginner. Ahem!' she said, clearing her throat loudly. All eyes in the room turned to her, including Link. She tried to ignore him. She really couldn't afford to lose her nerve right now.

'Gentlemen and… slightly wrinklier gentlemen, we were called here today for Zant to make an announcement. However, I have an announcement to make first which I rather think will make Zant's futile. I have come into possession of a certain letter,' she said, waving said letter, 'which details a plot by Zant to kill me, the Princess of Hyrule.' There was a ripple of shock in the crowd, but Zant folded his arms.

'Why don't you read it, then?' he hissed. Sheik's smile broadened. _Oh, if only you knew what I've got planned_ , she thought gleefully. She opened the letter, and cleared her throat.

'This letter is addressed to someone who I can only assume is an assassin. I need not read you all of it, but it details Zant's orders to kill me at night when the castle is asleep.' She passed the letter to the nearest Council member, whose face went through a variety of emotions including shock, confusion and disbelief, but finally ended up at anger.

'How dare you, sir!' he said, addressing Zant, and Sheik mentally shook her head in disappointment. _I just told you that he's trying to kill me, and you still think "sir" is the right way to speak to him? There's just no helping some people._ Zant looked confused, and reached out for the letter.

'Let me see that. No doubt it's a fabrication.' He scanned it carefully, but to Sheik's surprise his expression was undoubtedly smug. 'Your Majesty, with the greatest of respect, this letter is a steaming pile of bullsh-'

'Ahem!' Sheik interrupted quickly. 'There are ladies present! I'll thank you to mind your language! And what do you mean, a steaming pile of unmentionable? That letter has your seal and signature!' _I should know_ , she thought, _I spent over an hour last night forging it._ But she had copied his signature exactly and carefully lifted the seal from the original letter onto the fake, so she was reasonably confident that it would stand up to inspection. Zant tossed the letter to one side scornfully.

'I don't know why my signature is on there - forgery, I suspect - but I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that that letter is a fake!'

'Oh yes? And how can you be so sure?' Sheik asked, folding her arms. She'd laid down the trap in front of him. Now she just had to pray he walked into it.

'Because that is not the letter I wrote!' Zant said angrily, gesturing to the letter. Suddenly his expression changed to horror as he realised what he had said, but it was too late.

'And what letter did you write, exactly?' Impa asked, materialising at Sheik's side.

'I- I- She's an imposter!' Zant yelled, but Sheik just sighed. Zant had lost, and every protest he made now was just digging himself deeper. A few words from one of the Council members and a squad of guards appeared, ready to drag Zant off to the deepest dungeon. But as Sheik watched them taking him away, she couldn't help herself.

'Wait!' she called out, going over to him. 'I want to talk to the traitor for a minute.' The guards stood a respectful few feet away, but kept their eyes firmly fixed on Zant. Sheik leant as close to him as she could bear, enjoying the fierce glare he directed at her. 'I bet you thought you knew all about me,' she whispered. 'Well, you may know my face but that's _all_ you know. You have no idea who I am.'

'I know you're an imposter!' Zant spat.

'Fair enough,' Sheik replied in the same infuriatingly calm tone. 'But I'm also a thief, and a liar, and a master forger,' she told him, gesturing to the letter and its signature. 'To put it simply, I am a criminal. And someone like you,' she continued, her tone implying that someone like Zant was generally to be found at the bottom of a pond, 'will never catch me, hard though you may try. Believe me. I've made a living out of being uncatchable.' She moved away slightly, but couldn't resist going in for one final gloat.

'Oh, and remember that story you told me the first time we met? The one about the deer caught in the landslide? Well, you were right. It was a pretty apt metaphor for the situation, and it still is. The only mistake you made was deciding which one of us was the deer, and which was the landslide.' With that she stood up and gestured to the guards, who dragged Zant away.

* * *

As soon as she made it back to her room, Sheik leant heavily against the door and sighed. In all the chaos after Zant's arrest she had managed to slip away unnoticed, even though she had seen Link fighting his way through the crowd towards her. Much though she wanted to see him, what she wanted most of all right now was to sleep. But unfortunately, she hadn't quite managed to shake Impa off.

'What was that about?' she asked, folding her arms. Sheik sighed, realising that she wasn't going to get any sleep until she told Impa the truth, so she reluctantly explained the whole story. 'Zant hired an _assassin_? And where is that assassin now, pray? Off to kill Zelda, I assume!' Sheik sighed.

'The assassin wasn't keen on doing the job when he thought he'd get paid and be in Zant's good books when he became king. Now Zant's never becoming king and he's in no position to pay anybody, and the assassin's not going to do the job for nothing, so calm down. Besides, I already destroyed the original letter Zant wrote, which was the one telling the assassin where to go. Even if he wanted to kill Zelda - which he doesn't, although Goddesses only know why that is - he wouldn't know how to do it.'

'And why didn't you tell me about any of this?' Impa asked angrily.

'Because you said I'd just mess things up, and I wanted to prove to you that I wouldn't,' Sheik said wearily. 'Lack of trust in me is one thing, that I get. But lack of faith is just insulting. I do this kind of thing for a living, and have done for years. I'm probably better at it than you are.'

'Well, I doubt _I_ would have ended up in a situation like that with the maid,' Impa said with a hint of a smile as Sheik blushed furiously. 'But I admit that perhaps I was wrong to doubt you. Maybe I should have more faith.'

'Excellent. You can start that in the morning,' Sheik said, trudging towards her bedroom.

'It is the morning,' Impa said, confused.

'Tomorrow morning, then! I stayed up all night forging that damn letter, I'm tired! Wake me up tomorrow.' Impa nodded curtly, and went over to the door.

'Sheik,' she said quietly before opening it. Sheik was about to snap at her, but decided against it. 'I want to apologise for acting like that,' Impa said in the same quiet tone. 'I should have had more faith. I should have trusted you. So. Is there something I can do to make it up to you?' Sheik thought about this. Quite honestly, she was far too tired to make any kind of decision, but the back of her brain gave the rest of her a kick and pointed out that this was too good an opportunity to miss. For the first, and probably also the last time in her life, Impa owed her. What could she ask for? A few brain cells reluctantly fizzled into life, and she turned back to Impa.

'I want to learn some Sheikah stuff. You know, like the vanishing trick. But not that. Something else. Sheikah stuff. Yeah.' Then she turned back, judged the distance between her and her bed, decided that she really couldn't make it that far, and fell full-length on the carpet. She was asleep before she hit the ground.

* * *

A/N: I think we've all had days like that, when it really is just too far to bed.

I might not be able to update for the next few days, but I'll do my best. The next chapter will definitely be up by the start of next week though, so keep an eye out!


	10. Chapter 10: A Dangerous Lesson

A/N: Well, I got this one up!

* * *

 _'What if you don't come back?' the girl asks. The woman starts to reply, then thinks better of it. She comes over and kneels down in front of her daughter, cupping the little girl's face in her hands._

 _'Sheik, I need you to be strong for me,' she says, her red eyes shining with barely-held back tears._

 _'Don't want to,' Sheik says sullenly, refusing to meet her mother's eyes._

 _'You have to. You can do that for me, can't you?' Her daughter looks up, but says nothing. 'I know you can do that. After all, you're a Sheikah. You're my brave Sheikah warrior, and no matter what happens to me, that's not going to change. You have generations of Sheikah blood in you, and I want you to remember that. Even if I don't come back. You are strong enough to fight for yourself.'_

* * *

The next thing she knew, she was being roughly shaken awake.

'Ugh,' she said, addressing the universe at large. 'This had better be important. And why am I lying on a sheep?'

'That's not a sheep, that's the carpet,' the figure standing over her replied.

'Oh.' Sheik managed to push herself up on her elbows, and looked up at the figure. The room was dark, and although Sheik recognised Impa's voice the Sheikah herself was shrouded in darkness. 'Maybe it's just me,' she said, standing up, 'but I was always under the impression that part of the definition of morning was, you know, light. The sun being above the horizon, that kind of thing. Which does not seem to have happened. So could you please explain to me why you're waking me up now, in what I assume is the middle of the night, when I seem to remember specifically asking you to wake me up in the morning?'

'Because you asked to be taught Sheikah stuff,' Impa told her, handing her a pile of cloth which, after some careful prodding, Sheik identified as her bodysuit. 'And I can't exactly teach you what I'm about to teach you in broad daylight. We need to leave the city again, and that means waiting until after dark. Now get changed so we can go.' Sheik was too excited to argue, and soon they were heading for the small door in the city wall again.

'What are you going to teach me?' she asked, trying to keep up. Impa remained stubbornly silent, but Sheik knew she wouldn't have to wait long to find out. They didn't go far out into Hyrule Field, and stopped in the middle of the open grassland. Sheik looked around, wondering why Impa had chosen this spot. But suddenly she heard a noise which made the hairs on the back of her neck rise: the sound of a sword being drawn. She spun round, memories of her encounter with Zant flashing before her eyes. To her relief, she saw Impa holding a large, curved sword hilt-first towards her, and she took it reluctantly.

She had never held a weapon before in her life, and she wasn't at ease around them. Weapons were used by the shadier class of criminal, the kind who threatened, or sometimes even used those weapons. Sheik preferred not to carry even a small knife, just in case; she had no intention of using a weapon and if, Goddesses forbid, she was ever caught, she could get charged with armed robbery rather than just bog-standard thieving. The sentence was the same, but it was a matter of principle. Refusal to carry a weapon was what separated Sheik from all those other criminals. But here she was, carrying a proper sword, and Impa was holding another one of her own.

'Um…' she said, holding her sword away from her as if she expected it to bite. 'What exactly am I supposed to do with this?'

'Fight,' Impa replied. 'You wanted to learn "Sheikah stuff", I seem to recall. Well, these swords are traditional Sheikah weapons. We all learn to fight with them, so it's about time you learnt.'

'Ah. Right. Okay then,' Sheik replied, trying not to show her unease. 'So what, are we going to start with some training dummies, maybe a few drills or something?' Impa smiled, but it was one of those smiles Sheik had learnt to know and fear. It was a smile that meant, "I'm amused by what you just said, not because it was remotely funny, but because I know something you don't, and that something is about to bite you on the arse". Sheik started to back away slightly, and had made it about three inches before Impa leapt at her, sword raised.

* * *

She instinctively raised her own sword, and the resounding _clang_ as the two blades met radiated up her arm.

'What are you doing?' she yelled as Impa attacked again and again, each time only just blocked by Sheik.

'Teaching you!'

'I don't feel very taught!' she replied, but it ended as more of a shriek as she dodged out of the way of another blow. 'Stop attacking me!' she said angrily, but Impa didn't even slow down, launching another blow at neck height which Sheik just managed to duck under.

'Make me stop!' the older Sheikah replied, and Sheik frowned. _This is her idea of training?_ she thought disbelievingly. But another near-miss reminded her that she could criticise Impa's teaching strategy later. Right now she had more immediate problems, such as not being beheaded. She focused on the fight, keeping her eyes on Impa's blade as it flashed back and forth in the moonlight. She had a plan -well, sort of. But she needed an opportunity. Just one blow in the right place…

Finally she got her chance. Impa slashed at her neck again, and Sheik ducked under like before but kept going this time, cannoning into Impa and knocking both of them to the ground. Impa's sword went flying, embedding itself in the ground a few feet away. But to Sheik's surprise and horror Impa just reached up to her back and withdrew a second sword.

'Oh, come on!' Sheik said angrily as she was forced away. 'I beat you!'

'And yet I'm still fighting. How very effective that beating was,' Impa said sarcastically. Sheik shut up, and focused on the fight again. Her main concern was staying between Impa and her discarded sword; if the other Sheikah was allowed to pick up a second weapon, there was no way Sheik would be able to defend herself. But if _she_ could pick it up...

She backed away, trying to gain enough distance, then suddenly sprinted for it. She grabbed the sword as she passed, but was immediately pulled over when the sword didn't move. It was stuck firmly into the ground, and Impa paused to watch pityingly as Sheik wrestled with it. Sheik looked up at her, but she sheathed her sword and folded her arms.

'Go on. I'll wait.' Sheik frowned, and tried to pull at the sword from all angles, slowly manoeuvring herself so that her body blocked Impa's view of the sword. With one final wrench it came free, but Sheik carefully stayed hunched over so that Impa couldn't see. Then she readjusted her grip on her other sword and without warning she leapt at Impa.

The other Sheikah had quick reactions, and her sword was up before Sheik reached her, but Sheik's reactions were also fast, honed by years of criminality, and she managed to get her swords on either side of Impa's. In one deft movement that owed nothing to thought and everything to instinct, she twisted Impa's sword out of her grasp and tossed it away. She stood, panting, and glared at Impa.

'If you have another sword hidden in there you can stick it where the sun doesn't shine, because I'm done.' She kept her grip on her own swords though, just in case. But Impa was looking appraisingly at her, and nodded slowly.

'Not bad. Really not bad, especially for a first try. You've never had training before?'

'No,' Sheik replied sullenly. Her mother was the source of her no-weapons policy; she had her own sword, but never had it around in the house, and she had never even mentioned training Sheik to use it.

'Oh. Well, then I have to admit I'm impressed.' Impa reclaimed her sword and took the others back from Sheik, before turning back to Castle Town. 'So what did you learn?' she asked Sheik, trudging along behind her.

'That you can't be trusted?' she replied drily.

'Other than that,' Impa said with a dismissive wave of her hand. 'I mean, what did you learn that you didn't already know?' Sheik sighed, but it was a long walk back to the castle and she knew Impa wouldn't let her out of this.

'I guess… that I'm surprisingly good with a sword? And you're an unsurprisingly bad teacher.'

'Not at all. You beat me, didn't you?'

'Yes, but you didn't show me how to do that! That was just instinct!'

'Exactly! That's what I was trying to do. That's how all Sheikah are trained, not by drill or by example, but by instinct. We're warriors, all of us, and we're born knowing how to use a sword. You've either forgotten or ignored those instincts, but I was trying to force you to remember them.'

'What if I hadn't?' Sheik shot back. 'What if you'd sliced me in half with your first attack? Then what would you have done?'

'I had faith in you,' Impa replied with a shrug, oblivious to the small glow in Sheik's heart. 'I knew you were well in touch with some of your Sheikah instincts - that's what makes you such a good thief. Sneaking around the town requires the same skills as sneaking through enemy territory. I just had to hope that the rest of your instincts would come as easily. Like I said, I had faith. So, what have you learnt?'

'Didn't we cover that?'

'Remind me.' Sheik sighed.

'I learnt that I have good instincts. And I should trust them.'

'Excellent. What else?' Sheik looked at her, so nonplussed she was very nearly minused. She had no idea, since she was still under the impression that she hadn't learnt anything. Then again, apparently she had learnt that she should trust her instincts, so she thought back to the fight and took a guess.

'I should take advantage of the situation. Like when the sword was stuck. And then when you put your sword away to make fun of me. You lowered your guard, and that's why I was able to surprise you.'

'Exactly. People might not know just from looking at you that you're a Sheikah, so they'll assume you're just an innocent little girl. They'll underestimate you, they'll cling to some abstract notion of "honour", thinking that it's bad to hurt girls so they'll just do it a little bit. They'll make fun of you, and you need to take advantage of that. If they feel sorry for you, take advantage of it. Anytime your opponent underestimates you in any way, use that to your advantage.'

'Right. Lecture heard and more or less listened to. Can I go back to bed now?' Impa sighed.

'I suppose. There won't be much to do tomorrow, so you can sleep in.'

'But what about seeing Link?' Sheik asked, her heart jumping at the mere mention of her beloved prince.

'Him? Oh, he's gone.' Impa kept walking, and only stopped several minutes later when she realised Sheik wasn't with her. She turned back, sighed and walked back to where she had unknowingly left Sheik, standing open-mouthed in horror.

' _He's gone_?' she shrieked, grabbing Impa by the shoulders. 'What? Why? Where? How? When? _How do I find him_?' Impa removed Sheik's hands with difficulty.

'He left earlier today, after Zant's imprisonment. I assume that's part of the reason he was so anxious to speak to you.'

'Where is he?' Sheik demanded, ready to rush off to whatever corner of the world Link was hiding in.

'I think he's probably with the Zoras for now. Hyrule is surrounded by many other lands such as those of the Zoras and Gorons, and while Link's in our country he's taking the opportunity to visit other people. You're not the only royal in the world, you know.'

'I'm the only one who should matter to him,' Sheik said grumpily.

'He'll be gone a few days. A week at most. Then he'll come back, and you can slobber over him all day if you wish.'

'Excellent,' Sheik replied, setting off back towards the city. It was several minutes before Impa's last comment registered. 'Hang on. I don't slobber!'

'Whatever you say,' Impa replied in a tone which suggested that Sheik could say whatever she wanted, but she was a slobberer and Impa had evidence to prove it.

'I don't slobber,' Sheik repeated under her breath, as if that would change anything.

* * *

As Impa had predicted, the next day was uneventful. The exciting part came that night, when Impa led her out of the city again for another night of training. "Training", Sheik thought, was the wrong word. "Narrowly avoiding death by angry Sheikah" was a more accurate description. But she had to admit, Impa might have been right about her instincts. She managed to hold her own against her teacher, and at the end of a gruelling night she finally managed to defeat Impa by quickly sidestepping her attack and rolling around behind her, poking the tip of her sword directly into the small of Impa's back.

'Good,' Impa told her as they returned to the castle. 'I think you might be ready to try something a little bit more advanced tomorrow.'

'Like what?' Sheik asked, but as ever she was ignored. The next night, Sheik was ready before Impa came to get her, both excited and apprehensive about the night ahead. She wasn't sure what "advanced" entailed, but her hopes were not improved when Impa led her not to the open plain they had been using until then, but to the wooded area where Sheik had learnt the vanishing trick. 'What are we doing out here?' she asked.

'Teaching you to use your environment when you fight.'

'How am I supposed to-' she began, but her question was quickly answered when Impa attacked without warning. Sheik tried to back away, her tried and tested strategy in times of trouble, but was immediately foiled by a small rock which sent her crashing to the ground. She rolled out of the way of Impa's next attack, and crawled behind a handy bush while she tried to think. A cracking noise distracted her however, and she realised that Impa was hacking through the bush towards her. She crept away, using the remains of the bush as cover, and looked around.

She hadn't gotten a good look at her surroundings before, but now she saw why Impa had chosen this spot. Rocks, trees and bushes, all presumably useful in some way or other. But since Sheik had no idea how exactly she was supposed to use her environment, she wasn't sure how those things were going to be useful. However, as Impa spotted her again and marched over to her, brandishing her sword, Sheik did appreciate the value of a good sturdy tree between her and the other Sheikah, and was about to duck behind the nearest one when she paused. Running endlessly wasn't going to help her here; Impa had the look of a woman who would hack through foliage all night if necessary. But what might help her was a bit of careful planning and a lot of luck…

She blocked Impa's blows as best she could, but all the time she was forced to back away, until she was pressed up against a large oak tree. Impa grinned and drew back her sword for the final slash, but when it came Sheik was ready. She ducked out of the way and Impa's sword bit hard into the wood of the tree, sticking firmly. Sheik grinned too; she'd checked, and this time Impa didn't have spare swords. She raised her own, and pressed it firmly against Impa's neck.

'I win this one,' she said, her grin broadening. Impa merely grunted, and Sheik assumed she was sore about having lost, handing Impa her own sword back. Impa tugged her sword out of the tree, but without warning she levelled it straight at Sheik. 'Wha-? But I won!'

'I never acknowledged that. Don't assume the fight's over just because you _think_ it is. And more importantly, never hand your opponent your weapon.' Sheik scowled. She had actually thought she'd done rather well, but now Impa was going to turn around and steal this fight? No way. She wasn't going to let Impa win, not this easily. She narrowed her eyes, ducked under the blade, and grabbed Impa's hand, twisting it sharply. Impa's eyes widened in pain, and she was forced to drop her sword.

'Where did you learn to do that?' she asked, shaking her aching wrist. Sheik didn't reply immediately, picking up the fallen blade. She wasn't going to be fooled twice.

'What, don't you think that's my Sheikah instincts working?' she asked at last with a raised eyebrow.

'No! Sheikah warriors don't fight with their hands!'

'Well then they're missing out. For your information, I learnt that particular trick in a dark alley about two years ago. Some big drunk guy had me cornered with a knife, and then someone else appeared out of nowhere. I couldn't see their face so I don't know who they were, but they grabbed the other guy's hand with the knife and twisted it like that. Only they did it harder. I'm pretty sure it broke the guy's hand, so you should be grateful I didn't do that to you!'

'I am,' Impa said fervently.

'Anyway, they ran off before I could say thank you or anything, so I kicked the drunk guy in the balls and scarpered. But I did remember that trick. It's gotten me out of a few tight corners.'

'That was technically cheating,' Impa told her, sheathing her sword.

'I know, but you cheated too. The way I see it, if your opponent's going to cheat, make sure you cheat first and better.' Impa smiled slightly.

'We'll make a Sheikah out of you yet.'


	11. Chapter 11: The Duel

Sheik slept fitfully that night, dreaming of her mother. But whenever she tried to focus on an image or a snatch of sound, it faded out of her grasp. So she wasn't in the best mood at dawn the next morning, when Impa shook her awake.

'Go away,' she mumbled. 'I am closed for business owing to extreme tiredness. Come back tomorrow, or preferably not at all.'

'Ah, I see you've prepared your speech for Link,' Impa replied, wrenching open the curtains. She frowned when this got no response, and glared at Sheik, who had gone back to sleep. 'Didn't you hear me?' she asked, waking her up again. 'Link's back!' Sheik stared at her. Then, slowly, like the rising sun, joy dawned on her face.

'He's back!' she yelled, leaping out of bed. Unfortunately she landed on a rug, which skidded across the floor and out from under her. Impa winced as she crashed to the ground, but she was on her feet again in seconds. 'Where is he? Is he waiting for me? What did he say?'

'Nothing much. He's out in the garden, and he's got a look in his eye which makes me think he's planning something. Oh, and for some reason he's suggested you wear something other than a dress. I suggest your normal clothes.' Sheik didn't need to be told twice. She grabbed her bodysuit, managing to get it the right way round on her third attempt, and raced out the door. 'Aren't you worried about what he's up to?' Impa yelled, chasing her down the corridor.

'No! Link wants to see me, and for once in my life I don't have to wear a dress! Could this day get any better?' She tried to halt by the door to the garden, skidded along the floor, and ended up in a heap at the far end of the corridor. But she wouldn't let anything dampen her enthusiasm, and she raced down the steps to see Link. 'You're back!' she yelled, throwing her arms around him and almost knocking him over.

'Er, yeah…' Link replied, slightly confused by the display of affection. Sheik thought back to the last time she'd seen him. Ah yes, she'd run off at sunset with no explanation. Oops. But the way she saw it, why dwell on the past? She had hours to spend with Link today. 'You didn't tell me you were going away,' she said, slightly hurt. 'I missed you.'

'I'm sorry about that. I tried to tell you after all that trouble with Zant, but you left very quickly.' There was a note of accusation in his voice too, so Sheik decided to change the subject.

'You were very cryptic to Impa earlier. Apparently you're planning something?'

'Sort of. After you told everyone that Zant was plotting to kill you, I started to worry about you. I want to make sure you know how to defend yourself. So, since I know you can fence, I thought we'd have a friendly duel. Just to set my mind at ease.' He motioned to a guard, who came forward bearing an array of weapons. 'You get to choose your weapon,' Link told her, drawing his own sword.

Sheik blinked at him a few times, trying to keep up. Link wanted to fight her. Okay, so far, so good. She knew how to fight, thanks to Impa. But fencing? That sounded much more ornamental than what she'd been taught. Of course, it also sounded like the kind of thing Zelda would do. Now, how might one go about fencing? She eyed the weapons on display, and saw a straight, thin sword, which looked as though it would snap in two if you so much as sneezed on it. Yes, that seemed like the kind of sword Zelda would use. She reached for it, then stopped.

Next to it was a larger, curved sword. A Sheikah sword. Now _that_ she knew how to fight with. So what should she do? Fake an ability to fence with that toothpick and lose terribly, risking Link's suspicion and more importantly his scorn? Or use the weapon she knew how to use, a weapon she knew she could hold her own with, and give this fight her best shot? Who knew, she might even manage to beat Link. After all, she could generally beat Impa, and surely some prince wasn't going to be a better swordsman than a trained Sheikah warrior? She grinned, and picked up the Sheikah sword. Link looked surprised, but nodded.

'Are you sure you want to do this?' he asked. Sheik's grin broadened.

'Are you?'

* * *

She leapt at Link, thanking the Goddesses that she wasn't wearing a dress. But Link was quicker than she had expected, moving easily out of the way and blocking her blow. He half-heartedly counterattacked, but Sheik parried with full force, almost knocking Link's sword from his hand.

'You're going to have to do better than that,' she said with a smile.

'I can see that,' Link replied, spinning and bringing his sword around in a whirling arc. Sheik just managed to dive out of the way, and narrowed her eyes. Alright, Link was better than she had given him credit for. Better than her, maybe. Clearly she wasn't going to win this fight the old-fashioned way. So what else did she know? She glanced around, and grinned. The well-kept garden wasn't quite the woodland she had been practicing in with Impa, but it would do. She backed away towards the trees, keeping an eye on Link. He ran after her, but just before he reached her she sidestepped neatly, exposing a large tree root. Link tripped, as she had planned, but he managed to turn it into a roll which left him standing on his feet, sword in hand. Sheik stood and stared, open-mouthed.

'I'm sorry, were you expecting me to be bad at this?' Link asked with a grin.

'Well… yeah, kind of! You're royalty! They're not supposed to be good at this stuff!'

'Says the Princess,' Link replied, slashing at her. Sheik backed away, blocking his attacks as best she could, but she couldn't find an opening to attack him back. 'Besides,' Link said, feinting to the left before attacking on the right, 'you didn't really think I was going to challenge you unless I was reasonably sure I'd win, did you?'

'That's cheating!' Sheik said, just stopping herself from growling. 'I thought you wanted to make sure I could defend myself, or some crap like that!'

'Language!' Link said with a laugh, still attacking. 'And anyway, I knew the moment you attacked me that you could defend yourself. Now I want to see how good a fighter you really are.' He ducked behind a tree, but when Sheik ran around behind it, Link was nowhere to be found.

'Brilliant,' she muttered. She turned around, looking for Link, but he was wearing green, and a green person was unsurprisingly difficult to spot in a garden. Suddenly she heard something creak and didn't even bother to look up, diving to one side as Link leapt down from the tree. 'You could have killed me!' she said, aghast.

'But I didn't,' Link replied, as if that somehow made everything okay. Sheik backed away, grinding her teeth. _Okay, he's good. And he's smart, too. But smarter than me? Please. So how am I going to do this…?_ She backed away further, so that they were standing in the middle of a copse. She glanced around. No, they couldn't be seen from the rest of the garden. Perfect. She looked at Link, then theatrically threw down her sword.

'What are you doing?' Link asked with a frown, although to his credit he kept his sword raised. He wasn't going to be fooled that easily. Sheik said nothing, striding over to him and putting her arms around his neck.

'We're finally alone!' she said, looking deep into his eyes. 'I thought we'd never get rid of Impa and the others.' Realisation slowly dawned on Link's face, and he lowered his sword slightly, although he still kept it dangerously near her neck. _Damn._

'Ah,' he said, smiling. 'So you think you're going to trick me into letting my guard down? Sorry Zelda, but that's not going to work.'

'Not even as a distraction?' she asked sweetly, reaching down and grabbing his hand. Before Link could react she twisted it hard, enough to make him drop his sword but not quite enough to hurt him. She was still in love with him, after all. He stared at her in shock, not trying to stop her when she kicked his sword away. 'Shall we call it a draw?' she asked with a grin, but it faded slightly when he said nothing. _Why is he looking at me like that? Is it something I said? Damn, was it that trick? Of course it was. How would a Princess ever learn a trick like that?_ 'As you can see, Impa's been teaching me a thing or two,' she said with a nervous laugh, hoping to hurry Link's suspicions to an early grave. To her relief, after a few more moments Link's face smoothed into a smile.

'I think a draw sounds good. I can see that I'm going to have to get up earlier than that to beat you.' Sheik snorted.

'Link, you would have to stay up all night.' _And that didn't work out so well for Zant_ , she thought with a grin. 'Now let's go. I'm sure by now Impa thinks I've married you or something.'

'Yes, and while we're on that subject,' Link said, and Sheik's heart stopped. 'Both our Councils want to set a date. I don't object. The only person stopping this is you.' Sheik's mouth opened and shut a few times like a fish.

'U-um,' she replied eventually, floundering. In fact, she might even have upgraded her dictionary definition of "flummoxed" to include: the feeling one gets when the man one is hopelessly in love with (but with whom one is absolutely not allowed to be in love) asks one to set a date for their wedding, and one would like nothing more than to marry him there and then, but one knows one will be flayed alive by Impa if one does that, so one's response is a feeling of flummoxedness. Assuming "flummoxedness" was a word, which she was reasonably sure it wasn't.

'Why don't we talk to Impa about that,' she said at last, going with the time-honoured knowledge that a problem shared is somebody else's problem. Link sighed, looking disappointed.

'I was really hoping you'd be slightly happier about the marriage,' he said as Sheik led him determinedly back towards Impa and the others. 'I mean, you've been so much nicer to me recently. For a while there I actually thought you loved me.' Sheik stopped dead, her eyes wide. _How does he expect me to respond to that?_ I _love him, of course I do, but_ Zelda _doesn't! And he thinks_ I'm _Zelda!_

'It's complicated,' she replied at last with considerable honesty, towing him even more firmly towards the sanctuary that was Impa.

'I guess I was wrong then,' Link replied, sounding so downhearted that it took all of Sheik's willpower to stop herself from turning around and slapping him across the face a few times just to see if she could get some sense into him. He had no right to make her feel so guilty, no right at all! She knew her behaviour was confusing him, when he didn't know what was going on, but didn't he see that if there was any way in Hyrule she could have explained it to him, she would have? The cheek of that man, thinking that he was the only one having a hard time with this! Honestly, if she wasn't so in love she would have left him there and then. Luckily for him, she still thought that he was the most perfect creation the Goddesses had ever made, guilt-tripping and all.

'There you are!' Who won?' Impa asked.

'It was a draw,' Sheik told her when it became clear that Link was either still depressed, or more likely sulking, and either way he wasn't going to talk. Impa raised an eyebrow, which spoke loud and clear to Sheik. It said: we will be having Words about this later. Sheik sighed. _Well, we might as well get this over with, since it doesn't look as though Link is going to be in the mood to spend time with me today._

'Shall we go?' she asked, and Impa didn't need to be asked twice, grabbing Sheik's arm and setting off back into the castle. As she was dragged away, Sheik looked back at Link. He was watching her, and held her gaze for a moment. But then he looked away, and even though Sheik watched him until he was out of sight, he didn't look back at her again.

* * *

'What was that?' Impa asked before the door had even swung shut.

'What was what? I drew! Aren't you proud of me?'

'No! As your teacher, I'm annoyed you didn't win, and as your babysitter, I'm annoyed you didn't lose!'

'But I couldn't win, because he was actually better than I was expecting, and I couldn't lose because why in Din's name would I want to do that?' Impa sighed, sensing this was going to take a while.

'You should have lost,' she said, speaking slowly, 'because now he's going to wonder why the Princess of Hyrule is so good with a Sheikah weapon.'

'So? I can just say you taught me, and that's why I chose the Sheikah weapon. And as for being good with it, well, why shouldn't I be? He's royalty too, and he sure knows how to fight!'

'Yes, but there's a difference. _He_ has been trained with the sword from a young age because he's a prince, and one day he'll be a king, and princes and kings have to lead armies into battle. He needs to know how to fight. Zelda, on the other hand, is a princess. Princesses don't lead armies into battle, they have staff for that. If there ever was a war, Zelda would be sitting safe in the castle doing needlework while someone else did the fighting.'

'That sounds incredibly boring,' Sheik commented.

'Yes, but it's also how things are done! And that means that yes, Zelda was taught to use a sword, but only because that's a part of the traditional Princess curriculum! She's not supposed to be able to hold her own in an actual _fight_!'

'Well I'm sorry, but in case you hadn't noticed, I'm not a princess!' Sheik said angrily. She had been busily congratulating herself for holding her own against Link, and was looking for a few compliments. She was not in the mood for a lecture. 'I'm a criminal, and if I went around purposefully losing fights I would not have made it to the grand old age of seventeen!' Impa sighed, running a hand through her short blonde hair.

'Fine. There's an easy solution to this. I just won't give you any more lessons.'

'No!' Sheik yelled, and stopped. She didn't know where that shout had come from, but the thought of not learning to fight anymore was something that for some reason she felt strongly about.

'If you're just going to misuse what I teach you, I'm not giving you lessons,' Impa said with a shrug.

'Link's not going to fight me again! I won't have an opportunity to misuse your teachings again, and even if I did I promise I'll try really hard to lose the fight! Please, don't stop teaching me!' Impa frowned.

'Since when does this mean so much to you?'

'Since… since this is my one and only chance to learn something about what it means to be a Sheikah. I don't have anyone else to teach me.' Impa sighed and sat down, motioning for Sheik to do the same, which she reluctantly did.

'Sheik, what happened to your mother?' Impa asked quietly. Sheik was too shocked to respond, but she supposed that she shouldn't really be. It was an obvious question to ask. She just didn't want to answer it.

* * *

' _Mommy? Where are you going?' the small blonde girl asks, rubbing her eyes drowsily. The tall woman turns around, surprised that her daughter woke up when she had been specifically trying to be quiet._

 _'I need to go away for a while, to deal with some monsters,' she tells the little girl, trying to smile._

 _'Why?' Sheik asks, with an expression of wide-eyed innocence._

 _'Because I do. There are some monsters around, and they're making the roads very dangerous for travellers. So I have to go deal with them.'_

 _'But why you, Mommy?' Sheik asks, still looking confused._

 _'Because I'm a Sheikah. And what do Sheikah have to do?'_

 _'Serve the Royal Family,' Sheik says dutifully, the well-practiced answer trotting off her tongue._

 _'Good girl. But serving the Royal Family doesn't just mean being a guard at the castle, like some Sheikah are. It also means serving the kingdom. That's what I do. That's why I have to go off and deal with monsters sometimes. This is just like all those other times.'_

 _'But all those other times you say goodbye,' Sheik says, looking hurt. 'You never leave without saying goodbye.'_

 _'I know, Sheik. But I didn't want to wake you. That's- that's the only reason.' She tries unsuccessfully to keep her voice from cracking, but she can't help it. She's heard rumours about these monsters, and she knows that they are stronger than anything else she has faced before. She has tried to keep the danger a secret from her daughter, to stop her from worrying, but she knows it's futile. Even if Sheik doesn't know what's wrong, she knows her mother well enough to know that_ something _is different this time._

 _'What if you don't come back?' the little girl asks. Her mother starts to reply, then thinks better of it. She comes over and kneels down in front of her daughter, cupping the little girl's face in her hands._

 _'Sheik, I need you to be strong for me,' she says, her red eyes shining with barely-held back tears._

 _'Don't want to,' Sheik says sullenly, refusing to meet her mother's eyes._

 _'You have to. You can do that for me, can't you?' Her daughter looks up, but says nothing. 'I know you can do that. After all, you're a Sheikah. You're my brave Sheikah warrior, and no matter what happens to me, that's not going to change. You have generations of Sheikah blood in you, and I want you to remember that. Even if I don't come back. You are strong enough to fight for yourself.'_

 _'But I want you to stay, Mommy! I don't want you to leave me! I can't do this by myself!'_

 _'You can, Sheik,' her mother says, and she fails to stop a single tear from trailing down her face. 'I need you to be strong. Please? Promise me you'll do that?' Sheik hugs her mother tightly, burying her face in her shoulder._

 _'Why do you have to go?' she asks, her voice muffled._

 _'Because it's my duty.'_

 _'Why, because you're a Sheikah? That's not fair!'_

 _'No, not just because I'm a Sheikah. Look at me,' she says, turning her daughter's head to face hers. She says a few words to her daughter, words which it has taken her years to work out for herself. She hopes that, by passing on this advice now, she will save her daughter from wasting her life doing the wrong thing. She had hoped to wait until Sheik was older before telling her this, but it seems as though she won't get the chance anymore._

 _'Do you understand that?' she asks, and Sheik nods. 'So you understand that I have to do this.'_

 _'Yes,' Sheik says, wiping her eyes. She doesn't want her mother to go, but she understands now. 'I'll try to be strong, Mommy.'_

 _'Good girl. I know you can do this. Remember, I wouldn't be leaving you unless I knew, absolutely knew, that you could take care of yourself. I love you, Sheik.'_

 _'I love you too, Mommy,' Sheik says, sniffing. Her mother smiles at her one last time, then leaves quickly before she changes her mind. Sheik runs over to the window, dragging a chair in front of it so that she's tall enough to watch her mother through it as she slowly walks off into the distance._

* * *

'That's the last time I saw her,' Sheik finished. Impa was silent, staring at the floor. 'Could you say something? Anything?' Sheik asked her. 'It's kind of worrying me that you're not saying anything.'

'I… I'm sorry,' Impa said at last. 'I didn't know.'

'Well, what did you think happened? You knew I had a mother once, but I don't anymore. What else were you expecting?'

'I know, I just didn't realise… that she died because she was doing her duty.'

'Yeah,' Sheik said, joining Impa in examining the carpet. 'I know it's what she wanted and all, but…'

'What did she say to you that made you understand?' Impa asked. Sheik shook her head. She had deliberately left out that part of the story, and she didn't want to have to tell Impa now.

'Just something about doing her duty. But… what my mother said, and did, that's why I don't like the Royal Family. And that's why I don't feel the need to spend my life serving them, alright? I know you think I'm disloyal to Zelda, and I'm trying to mess this up and get exposed out of spite or whatever, but I have a genuine reason for disliking her.'

'I know that,' Impa told her. 'And for the record, I never thought you messed up out of spite. To be honest, I mostly thought you messed up out of stupidity.' Sheik opened her mouth, tried to think of a way to refute this, gave up, closed her mouth again, and settled for grumbling under her breath.

'But even though I don't care much for the so-called "Sheikah's duty", I do care about being a Sheikah,' she continued instead. 'And I want to learn more about what that means, if only so that I can decide that it's not for me. My mother never had time to teach me all this stuff, like the Deku Nut trick or how to use a sword or the rest of it. And I know you and I don't see eye to eye much, but we're both Sheikah, and you can't deny that. And you're my only link to my heritage, and you can't deny that, either. So please don't stop teaching me. I'll try to lose on purpose if I ever have to fight again. But it's important to me that I learn this stuff. Please?' Impa nodded.

'I will keep teaching you. But Sheik,' she said, getting up to leave. 'What?'

'Your mother was telling you the truth. She wouldn't have left you unless she was sure you could take care of yourself. And I know that there have been times, when you were stealing, when you didn't have food or when you had to fight your way home, alone, in the middle of a storm, those were times when you doubted her. You didn't think you could take care of yourself, you wished she was still there to take care of you. Well, there's nothing wrong with wishing you still had your mother. But there is something wrong with doubting yourself. You can absolutely take care of yourself, even without your mother. After all, even though there have been tough times, you've made it this far all on your own. And if that's not proof that you are strong enough to fight for yourself, I don't know what is.'


	12. Chapter 12: The Ball

True to her word, Impa trained Sheik again that night, working on some more advanced techniques. The next day Sheik was allowed to sleep in, mostly because there was nothing for her to do.

'Didn't Link ask about me?' she asked when she finally woke up mid-afternoon.

'No. If I didn't know better, I'd say he's sulking,' Impa told her.

'Do you know better?' Sheik asked.

'No. Alright then, he is sulking.' Sheik sighed, feeling terrible. She told Impa what Link had said, and the older Sheikah sighed. 'It was the right thing to do. You couldn't have set a date, not when Zelda refuses to marry him.'

'Where is Zelda?' Sheik asked, thinking about the real Princess for the first time in days.

'You know I don't know that. I haven't heard anything from her, and I don't know when she's going to be back.'

'She'd better come back soon, before I can't put this wedding off anymore!' Sheik warned Impa, but part of her thought that maybe it wouldn't be so bad if Zelda didn't come back for a while. Or ever, really. After all, Sheik was well looked after here, she was more or less handling her royal duties, and over time people would get used to her, so any strange behaviour would go unnoticed as part of "Zelda's new personality". And best of all, she could marry Link. Even without all the Princess nonsense, if she got to marry Link, she would be happy. But from the sound of it, Link wasn't so happy with her right now.

'What should I say to him?' she asked Impa.

'Nothing. I know it hurts you to hurt him, but this is for the best. Remember, you're not supposed to be in love with him.'

'I know,' Sheik said sullenly. The rest of the day passed without incident, and Sheik was saddened but not surprised when Link didn't want to see her the next day, either. She was on the verge of going to see him herself when Impa stopped her.

'This is for the best,' she reminded Sheik.

'Is "the best" supposed to feel this awful?' Sheik asked, staring out the window and wondering if she could see Link's room from there.

'Yes,' Impa replied with the voice of experience. 'That's usually how you know it's the best.'

* * *

The next day Sheik's monotony was broken by the weekly meeting with the Royal Council. Sheik was dreading it, until she remembered that she no longer had to deal with Zant, at which point she only mostly dreaded it. She still expected to be bored out of her mind though, and she wasn't disappointed.

'There are only two more points on the agenda,' an ancient man announced at last in a voice that creaked with the weight of years, and Impa elbowed Sheik hard.

'What was that for?' she whispered angrily.

'You were snoring,' Impa whispered back. Sheik shrugged. She hadn't even realised that she had fallen asleep, although it seemed as though no-one else had noticed her nap either.

'The first matter,' the man creaked out, 'is the appointment of a new advisor.' All heads turned to the chair recently vacated by Zant, and Sheik sighed.

'I'll think about it. Next.' She knew this was unprincessly behaviour, but she was tired and being prevented from sleeping. This meant that she was grumpy, and not in the mood to deal with this wizened old man. There were a few unhappy murmurs around the table, but a sweeping glare from Sheik silenced them.

'The final matter is the ball tomorrow night. I want to reassure Her Majesty that the preparations are well underway.' Sheik frowned, wondering why she was suddenly being addressed in the third person. She was sitting right there, wasn't she?

'Oh. That's good. Sounds like we're done then,' she said, and most of the advisors had already left the hall by the time her sluggish brain caught up with her ears. 'Wait, what's all this about a ball?' she hissed to Impa.

'Oh, we have one every few months. It's a dance. I assume you know how to dance?'

'I've never even _seen_ someone dancing! Is Link going to be there?'

'Most likely. And he'll want to dance with you.'

'Well, how in Nayru's name am I going to learn to dance in a day?' Impa frowned.

'I could teach you…' Sheik looked up hopefully. 'If we had about twenty more years. And if you were someone else.' Her hopes crashed again.

'Very helpful. So what are we going to do? Can you use magic or something?'

'No. And speaking of magic, I'd better go make sure this ball is going to be before sunset. Usually these things are held at night, but we can't have that if you're going to be there.' With that Impa rushed off after the wizened old man, leaving Sheik alone in the hall.

'What in Din's name am I supposed to do now?' she asked the world in general.

* * *

There was no sword-fighting lesson that night, and instead Impa sent Sheik to bed early with strict instructions to get a good night's sleep. She would need it apparently. But instead of doing as she was told, Sheik spent most of the night wondering whether she should dread the ball or not. It meant dancing. It meant lots of people. It almost certainly meant a big poufy dress. And most importantly, it meant an unparalleled chance to expose herself.

But it also meant Link, and having gone so long without seeing him Sheik was anxious for any chance to be with him. Even if it meant tripping over her two left feet when she was supposed to be dancing with him. But when the day dawned, Impa appeared with a plate of bacon and a cunning plan. Sheik wasn't sure which one she was more excited about.

'I've told everyone that you were taken ill late last night. You've been very brave about it, and you've told me that you're going to try to make it to the ball tonight, but you're far too weak to do any dancing. You also need plenty of rest, so you're going to be in bed well before sunset.'

'That means no romantic waltz with Link, doesn't it?' Sheik said, disheartened.

'Yes. I'm sorry, Sheik. But you can still talk to him. It just means that you won't embarrass yourself while dancing with him.' Sheik had to admit that this covered all the bases. She also had to admit that Impa had been much nicer to her ever since she had told her about her mother. Maybe something in their heart to heart had reminded Impa that she actually did have a heart, and maybe she should use it occasionally.

'So,' Sheik said, moving on to more important matters. 'How horrendous is my dress for tonight?' Impa held up a silvery dress, and Sheik nodded approvingly. It was still a dress, so it lost points for that, but as dresses went it really wasn't so bad. It wasn't pink, and there were practically no frills. It also fitted her surprisingly well, even when she was in her own body.

'The dress is a bit small for Zelda, but you're skinnier than her, so it should fit fine,' Impa told her. 'It's also the nicest once Zelda has, so you have to wear it even though it's going to be a bit tight.'

'How tight is a bit tight?' Sheik asked, starting to worry.

'Let's just say it's a good thing you're not going to be doing anything as strenuous as dancing,' Impa told her with a humourless smile.

* * *

Sheik breathed out as Impa laced up the dress, then tried to breathe in, and found that there was no room in the dress for the extra air.

'I see what you meant about it being a bit tight,' she wheezed.

'Can you breathe?' Impa asked. Sheik wasn't sure, so she tried it. She managed to get about a third of a breath in, enough to answer Impa.

'As long as I hyperventilate all night, I should be fine,' she gasped.

'Excellent,' Impa said, rubbing her hands together. 'Well, you should get going, then. And remember, what do you do if someone asks you to dance?'

'I cough and sneeze and generally spread germs all over them until they go away,' Sheik replied, well-rehearsed.

'Good. And take this,' Impa said, handing her a handkerchief. Sheik held it up critically. It was worryingly lacy. If she tried to blow her nose with it, she might get lost in all the lace and never find her way out again. 'If anyone is too persistent, wave that at them,' Impa told her. Sheik tried to find somewhere in the dress to put it, and eventually steeled herself and put it down her top.

'No-one's going to go near that,' she said confidently.

'Are you ready to go, then?' Impa asked, and Sheik nodded, having run out of air. She made it out of her room and down into the Great Hall, which was already crowded with people. She had to lean against the wall to catch her breath, but that just added weight to the story of her illness, so she decided to stay there for a while. Around her, the room filled with dancing couples, and she felt a slight pang in her heart as she watched them.

 _That should be me and Link_ , she thought. _Well, I don't know about should. But it could be us._ But she knew it was stupid to think like that, so she tried to distract herself by looking around the hall instead. She found herself subconsciously looking for Link, and was about to stop herself when she caught sight of him on the other side of the hall. With a woman.

'Who's that?' Sheik hissed to Impa, her voice dripping poison.

'That? Oh, that's Ilia. She's from Faron. I understand that at one point, before the marriage with Zelda was arranged, Ilia thought that _she_ was going to marry Link.'

'Why would she think that? Did he say anything to her?' Sheik asked quickly.

'No, as far as I know he had no plans regarding her. But she saw that he was single, rather fancied herself as Faron's next Queen, and decided to take what she saw as hers.'

'Oh, she sees him as hers, does she? We'll just see about that,' Sheik said, marching over to Link and Ilia. But before she managed more than a couple of steps, Impa pulled her back.

'What are you doing?'

'I'm going to tell Ilia to piss off, that's what I'm doing!'

'You can't do that! You're supposed to be practically on your deathbed, remember?'

'So? I'll be spinning in my grave if those two end up together! Link's supposed to be marrying _me_!'

'No, Link's supposed to be marrying Zelda,' Impa said, yanking Sheik back to reality. 'If he's decided to give up on her and go back to Ilia, that's a good thing. Yes, I know you don't think of it that way, but it really is. It'll make it easier for Zelda to carry out whatever plan she has to get out of the marriage when she comes back.'

'But what am I supposed to do until then?' Sheik almost wailed. 'I love Link! I don't want him running off with that Ilia!' Impa sighed.

'Look, if this is going to distress you, why don't you go to bed? It's nearly sunset anyway.' Sheik sighed.

'Maybe you're right. I just hate the idea of Link and Ilia together.'

'I know. But there's nothing you can do, and nothing I'm going to allow you to do. Now, why don't y-' She stopped abruptly, staring past Sheik.

'What?' Sheik asked, and turned when she got no answer. She gasped, and only Impa's hand firmly on her shoulder stopped her from running across the room. Link was coming towards her, and Ilia (who, Sheik noted with a certain amount of satisfaction, was looking distinctly annoyed) had been left alone on the other side of the room.

'Go. Now!' Impa told her urgently.

'Why? He's clearly coming to talk to me.'

'Yes, and he's not going to be fooled by your fake illness! He's going to want to dance with you, as protocol dictates, and you're going to have to say yes, as protocol dictates, and you're going to make an absolute fool of yourself, as protocol very much does not dictate! I'll stall him as long as I can. Get going!' Sheik sighed, took one last look back at Link, and turned to leave.

But as she left the hall, she suddenly felt different. She looked down at herself in horror, and realised that the sun must have just set. She was back in her own body, and Link was right behind her.

* * *

She picked up as much of her dress as she could and ran, grateful for the fact that she was wearing this particular dress, which fit her much better now that she was in her own, slimmer body. She was also enjoying the feeling of being able to breathe again, but that feeling was quickly cut off when she was a group of people coming down the staircase which lead to her room.

She had to act quickly to avoid being seen, and dashed out into the garden. It would be deserted tonight, and she could wait here until it was safe to go back inside. Or, if things got desperate, she could climb up the wall to her room like she had several nights ago. She risked a quick look back inside, and gasped, ducking back. Clearly Impa's stalling techniques hadn't been very successful, because Link had just left the hall, and he was almost certainly looking for her. Hopefully he would go up to her room, but those hopes were dashed as Sheik heard footsteps coming towards her. She had to move, now.

She ran off into the garden, trying stay off the paths. She couldn't hear anyone behind her, but that didn't mean Link wasn't there. The soft grass beneath her feet muffled all footsteps, hers as well as Link's. She saw a shape up ahead and raced towards it, hoping it was something she could hide behind. As she got nearer, she saw that it was a large marble fountain, with statues of the three Goddesses squirting water from various orifices in the centre. She ran on past it, despairing of Art as she did so.

The fountain was in a large open area of paving, which rang accusingly with each step. Sheik looked around, knowing that she was exposed here. She caught sight of a low wooden fence with roses growing up it at the edge of the path and vaulted over it, pulling her dress over after her. She crouched down on the other side, trying to hear any sounds of pursuit over the pounding of her heart. There was nothing. She breathed out a long sigh of relief, when suddenly she heard the sound of boots on stone.

'Zelda?' Link called, and she could hear him coming closer to her hiding spot. 'Zelda, I know you're out here. I just wish I knew why you keep running away from me. Is this about what I said the other day? I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry for sulking, too. That was stupid of me.' He was still coming closer, whether he knew she was there or not. She had to do something, now, or she would be discovered. But what? She couldn't move from her spot, or he would see her. She supposed she could say something, but she had her own voice again. Could she fake Zelda's? Goddesses knew she had heard it enough times. Well, she had to try something.

'I'm not running away from you,' she said in what she hoped was a good enough imitation of Zelda's voice. The sound stopped as Link paused to listen, and she knew she had to keep talking. 'It's just that I don't want to dance with you. N-not like that, I didn't mean that,' she said quickly, realising that he now thought she really was running away from him. 'It's just that… I'm actually a terrible dancer, and I didn't want to embarrass myself in front of you. So when I saw you coming over, I ran.' It was a risk, but it was a risk that had to be taken. Had Link danced with Zelda before? Did he know that she actually was a good dancer? Well, she'd have to lie her way over that bridge if she came to it. Link came closer again, and Sheik held her breath, but he stopped a few feet from her.

'Zelda, you're not going to embarrass yourself. I don't care if you can't dance. I was promised a dance with you at the ball, and running away from me isn't going to get you out of that.' Sheik stayed resolutely silent. 'Will you dance with me if I close my eyes?' Link asked after a minute, and Sheik thought about it.

She knew it was stupid to even consider it, she should just say yes, get him to close his eyes, then run off while he wasn't looking, but for once in her life her heart marched up to her brain, tapped it on the shoulder, punched it in the metaphorical face and gave it a good kicking while it was down. There was no-one else around, not even the omnipresent Impa. No-one would ever know about this. This was her one and only chance to actually have a Moment deserving of the capital letter with Link, and she was not going to let something silly like the enormous risk of being exposed and executed for treason put her off.

'Fine,' she said. 'But I don't trust you to keep your eyes closed. Use this,' she said, fishing her handkerchief out of the recesses of her bosom and holding it up. He took it from her, and when he said he was ready, she cautiously peeked over the fence. Yes, he had blindfolded himself. He really couldn't see her. Her brain, gasping on the floor as her heart stood over it with a bat, told her that she should really run, but she had run from Link so many times. She had already insulted him so many times, she had made him think she didn't love him so many times, and she was sick of it. No, tonight she was going to stop constantly worrying about being caught, and dance with Link.

* * *

'How much do you know about dancing?' Link asked her.

'Literally nothing. I was ill the day they taught that in Princess School.' Link laughed at that, and held out his hands to her. She hesitantly held them, and he pulled her closer.

'You put one hand on my shoulder, like that. Then I hold the other one. And my other hand goes here.' Sheik involuntarily gasped as she felt Link's hand on her side, but told herself sternly not to be so silly.

'Then what?' she asked.

'Then you just follow what I do,' Link told her. Sheik tried to do as she was told, staring intently at her feet and trying to get them to move in the right direction. But she seemed to have forgotten which muscles controlled which feet, and she felt her cheeks flush. She was making a mess of this, she knew it. 'You're thinking too hard about it,' Link said, and for a moment Sheik wondered if he had removed his blindfold. Nope, even without seeing her, he knew she was terrible at this. She sighed.

'Just relax,' he told her. She tried to relax, focussing on Link instead and letting her feet worry about themselves for once. Was that blindfold tight? Yes, definitely. Could he see through it? She scolded herself for worrying so much. If he could see her, it was too late now. Besides, he had apparently decided not to do anything about the fact that he was dancing with some random stranger, so she wasn't going to do anything either.

'That's better,' Link told her, and immediately Sheik felt self-conscious and tripped over her own feet. 'Correction: that _was_ better,' Link said with a grin, and Sheik would have punched him had he not already been holding her hands. Instead she took a deep breath to restore her confidence, and tried again. 'See? It's not so bad, is it?' Link asked her, and Sheik had to agree. 'I don't know why you were so worried about this. I mean, was it really worth running away from me?' he asked, and Sheik decided to tell him the truth. Or _a_ truth, at least.

'I saw you with that other girl. Ilia, was it?' Link sighed.

'Is that what you were worried about? Zelda, I thought you had more faith in me than that!'

'I did, but then I saw you with your ex-fiancée!'

'Ilia is not my fiancée, nor was she ever. She might wish otherwise, but to me she's just a friend. She was visiting some friends in Hyrule and heard about the ball, and since she really wanted to come I said she could be my guest. Maybe she had an ulterior motive, I don't know. But there's nothing going on between me and her, alright?' Sheik was silent for a few moments.

'Promise?' she asked, painfully aware of how childish she sounded. But Link just laughed, and gently kissed her forehead.

'Promise. You're the one I love, Zelda. Not Ilia, or anyone else. You.' Sheik rested her head against his shoulder, trying to work out how she was supposed to feel about that.

* * *

Sheik and Link lay next to each other on the grass, staring up at the starry sky. Well, one of them stared. Link still had his blindfold on, but Sheik wasn't about to ask him to remove it. Instead, she settled for describing the stars as she saw them, and taking advantage of Link's vast and previously unknown knowledge of the heavens.

'There's one that looks like a flame. What's that called?'

'That's Din's Fire. According to legend, the stars in that constellation are actually massive fireballs the goddess created.'

'Wow,' Sheik breathed. 'That one looks like a horse. Oh, and there's another one over there that looks like a man.'

'The horse constellation is called Epona. Apparently, that man was her rider, and he was a great hero. When he died, the Goddesses turned him into stars as a reward for everything he had done. But Epona was left behind, and she mourned for her rider. Every night she used to look up at him in the stars, and the stories say that one night she galloped all the way up to the peak of the tallest mountain in the world, because she was trying to reach him. So the Goddesses took pity on her and made her into stars too, so that she could always be with her rider.'

'That's beautiful,' Sheik said, staring at the sky. 'Where did you learn all this?'

'My mother told me these stories. When I was younger, we used to go outside at night and she would point out all the stars to me. I miss doing that.' He sighed, and Sheik rolled onto her side to watch him.

'I'm sorry,' she said. 'I miss my mother too, if that helps. She wasn't big on stars, but she used to tell me a lot about history. Stories of great heroes, things like that.'

'It's strange,' Link said after a few moments. 'When my mother died, I thought I'd miss the big things. But it's the little things I miss most. Like talking about the stars.'

'Yeah, I know what you mean,' Sheik said with a sigh.

'But now I can tell you about the stars. And I can do that for the rest of my life,' Link said, rolling over too. They were so close that their foreheads were touching, and Sheik could feel Link's breath on her face. 'You know, I can't wait to marry you,' Link said after a moment.

'You make it sound like that's new,' Sheik said with a laugh.

'It is new. Before, I didn't really care whether we got married or not. Actually, I thought it would be pretty miserable being married to someone who hated me, but I didn't really care either way. Then, when you stared being nicer to me, I thought that maybe it wouldn't be so bad to spend the rest of my life with you. But now I'm actually looking forward to it. For the first time since I met you, I really want to marry you.' Sheik smiled, but it was a smile tinged with sadness. _You're not going to marry me_ , she thought. _You're going to marry Zelda. And all the romantic nights in the world aren't going to change that._ But she kept silent, trying to enjoy her time with Link.

'What's wrong?' he asked, frowning under his blindfold. 'You're not saying anything.'

'I know, it's just… It's complicated.'

'You said that before.'

'Well, it still is complicated! And it's getting more complicated every day.'

'What's so complicated about it? I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. That's all there is to it. Doesn't sound that complicated to me.' Sheik sighed heavily. 'Do you not love me?' Link asked after a few more minutes of silence. 'Is that what's making this complicated?'

'It's exactly the opposite. I do love you. I love you more than I ever knew it was possible to love someone. I want more than anything to spend the rest of my life with you. And that's what's complicated.' Link was silent, and Sheik wondered if she'd said too much. But then, to her surprise, Link smiled again.

'We'll figure it out. Whatever the problem is, we'll find a way around it. You love me. That's all I need to know.' Sheik wondered what she should do. Should she tell Link the whole story? Impossible. But how else was she going to explain this? But then she looked back at Link, and saw that he was leaning towards her. _Holy Din, he's about to kiss me._ And suddenly all her other problems didn't seem very important at all.


	13. Chapter 13: An Unwelcome Return

A/N: It's practically a micro-chapter today, but it's a good one (I think).

* * *

Sheik could feel Link's lips brushing against her own, and braced herself. She was about to have her first kiss. That was nice. And it was going to be with the love of her life, too. Even nicer. And that love of her life thought that he was kissing a completely different woman. Not nice at all. She stopped abruptly, pulling back.

'What's the matter?' Link asked, frowning.

'I- I- I'm sorry,' she managed, getting up quickly and running off back towards the castle.

'Zelda!' Link yelled after her. 'Wait! Where are you going?' She didn't look back, trying to see in the darkened garden. This was harder than it might have been, because her eyes were filling with tears. _Damn Zelda! Damn her! Why does she have to exist? She doesn't even want to marry Link! Why can't I marry him? He loves me, I love him, we'd be happy together! But no, she has to get in the way and ruin everything._

She raced up to her room, ignoring the possibility of being seen on her way, and locked the door behind her. She was properly crying by this point, but she ran into her bedroom and stuffed the pillow into her mouth to muffle her sobs. It just wasn't fair. And the fact that she felt so childish for thinking that wasn't fair either. She'd tried, she really had. She'd tried to do this properly, play it safe, be a good Princess. She'd done everything Zelda had asked. But now the Goddesses were doing this to her, telling her that she couldn't be with the man she loved, because of the enormous lie between them.

As she sobbed, Sheik was aware that she was getting tears all over her dress, and thought vaguely about doing something about that. She reached for her handkerchief, only to remember that she'd left it with Link. So she took the dress off instead, getting back into her bodysuit. She caught sight of herself in the mirror, face streaked and red, and slumped.

'Maybe I should just run away,' she told herself. 'Maybe I should go back to being a thief. Because I can't do this anymore.' She wiped her face angrily, hating herself for being weak. It was stupid to cry alone in her room. She should do something, anything, as long as it took her mind off Link. But every time she closed her eyes she saw his face, his hurt expression, and she couldn't help but think about how betrayed she must have made him feel, having run away for the umpteenth time. If only he knew that running away was the last thing she wanted to do when she was with him.

Stupid Zelda! If only she wasn't around. No, better than that, if only Link was in love with _her_ rather than Zelda. Well, he was, wasn't he? _She_ was the one he loved, he'd said so himself. He hadn't been looking forward to the wedding until Sheik had come along. True, he thought she was still Zelda but with a personality change, but it was _her_ personality he had fallen in love with. He loved her, she knew he did. It was just her appearance and her name. That was all that stood between them. Was it really so far-fetched to imagine that he could learn to love those? Was there really no way they could be together? Even if she told him the truth? It had to be worth a try.

She was done lying and cheating to protect Zelda. It was time to take a risk, and tell Link who she really was. If he threw her in the dungeons… well, she'd have to live with that. Or die with it, more likely. But at least she could die knowing that she'd tried. She glanced out of her window. She couldn't see Link, but she could hear him calling for her.

She quickly climbed out and down the ivy on the wall, thanking the Goddesses that her window wasn't as inaccessible as Zant's. She leapt down when she was still a few feet from the ground, running out into the garden to find Link. She found the main path, and looked up and down it. Was it her imagination, or was there someone at the far end? There was. She raced towards them, her heart pounding in her chest. This was it. This had to work.

The figure had seen her, and was running towards her too. There was a lantern in between them, they would meet there. Link would see her face. But she was ready for that. She stopped in the pool of light, her breathing accelerating. This had to work. Link was closer now, a mere few feet away, when suddenly he stopped dead. He had seen her face. She knew he had. She took a deep breath, trying to work out what to say. But Link beat her to it.

'Sheik? What in Farore's name are you doing out here?' Sheik's words died in her throat. She recognised that voice. The figure wasn't Link. It was Zelda.

* * *

'Z-Zelda?' she stuttered. Her heart sank through her spleen, and kept going. _No, no, no! What is she doing here? I have to find Link!_ But before she could move Zelda strode forwards and grabbed her by the arm.

'You're supposed to be in my room after sunset! Let's go, now!' Sheik was too shocked to resist, allowing herself to be meekly pulled along by Zelda. A small part of her brain and a large part of her heart screamed at her to do something, but she couldn't think straight. Zelda was back. After weeks of waiting, of wanting her to return, she had. Right at the moment when Sheik had decided she didn't want her back. Sheik was dragged up to Zelda's room, where Impa was already waiting for them.

'Zelda! You're back!' she said, with a level of joy that was matched only by the despair in Sheik's heart. _Link's real fiancée is back. They're getting married now. He has to spend the rest of his life with her. She gets to spend the rest of her life with him. How in Din's name is any of this fair?_

'Right, so I'm back now,' Zelda said in a business-like manner, turning to Sheik. 'So your services won't be required anymore. You're free to go back to your life.'

'Wh-what? Just like that?' she asked, horrified. Zelda completely misunderstood her expression.

'Yes, I'm sure you're very happy, but could you save your celebrations until you're out of my castle? I assume everything completely fell apart while I was away, so I probably have a lot of work to do.'

'Actually, Sheik handled everything very well,' Impa said loyally, and in the part of Sheik's heart that contained her feelings for Impa, a little shard of ice melted away. _I'm actually going to miss her_ , she thought. _Because I'm going. I have to leave. Right. Wait, what?_

'I can't just go!' she protested. 'I… I have to say goodbye!'

'What, to Impa? Oh, alright then. But make it quick,' Zelda said, leaving the room. Impa stared at Sheik.

'So. This is goodbye, then.' Sheik could feel her tears returning.

'But I don't want it to be goodbye!' Impa sighed.

'I know. You'll miss Link.'

'Yes! There were so many things I was supposed to say to him! I… I wanted to tell him I loved him! I wanted him to accept me as me, not as Zelda!'

'He wouldn't have accepted you,' Impa told her. 'He would have exposed you. It's good that Zelda came back when she did. It saved you from making a huge mistake.'

'What?' Sheik asked, shocked. 'How can you say that?'

'Because it's easier. Sheik, you're not going to be able to see Link again. If you keep dreaming about a perfect world where he accepts you for you, you'll spend the rest of your life miserable. Trust me, it's easier if you tell yourself it would never have worked.'

'How long do I have to tell myself that for?' Sheik asked, tears gathering at the corners of her eyes. Impa sighed.

'It's been twenty years so far, and still counting.' Sheik sniffed, then suddenly ran over and hugged Impa tightly.

'I'm going to miss you,' she whispered.

'I'm going to miss you too,' Impa said in a strained voice, and looking up Sheik was shocked to see a single tear trailing down the teardrop tattoo under Impa's eye. 'But this doesn't have to be goodbye for ever,' Impa told her, and Sheik's hopes rose slightly, even though she knew they would be dashed. 'You could join the Royal Guard,' she told Sheik, who sighed.

'I don't want to spend my life serving Zelda. I told you that.'

'I know, but you wouldn't just be serving her. You'd be serving the kingdom too. You wouldn't have to steal to eat, and you could live in the castle. And you and I wouldn't have to say goodbye. Besides, you're a Sheikah. It's your duty to serve the Royal Family.' Sheik thought about it, and about what her mother had told her about duty. She shook her head.

'No. I'm sorry, but I can't do that.' Impa sighed.

'I didn't think you'd say yes. Then, I guess this really is goodbye.' Sheik nodded.

'Are you done yet?' Zelda asked, coming back into the room.

'Yes,' Impa said on Sheik's behalf.

'Good. Anything else to say?' Zelda asked Sheik. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, trying to work out what to say.

'I think you should ask the Gorons' lawyer to be your new advisor,' she said at last. 'And I think you should spend some more time with the street vendors in this city. It would make you a better negotiator. I think you should worry less about acting like the perfect princess, and more about getting the job done. And I think… I think you should be nicer to Link. He didn't ask to be treated like scum. And he doesn't deserve it, either.' Zelda raised an eyebrow.

'Is that it?' Sheik nodded, because she didn't think she could speak anymore.

'Good. Don't worry, I'll drop all the charges against you. You're free to go. And no offence, but I really hope I won't be hearing from you anytime soon. Impa will take you out of the castle.' Impa sighed, but led Sheik out of the room. Sheik knew the way by now, and they walked in silence. As they entered the garden, Sheik listened out for any signs of Link, but could hear nothing.

 _He's given up on me_ , she thought. _It's for the best. Impa's right, it would never have worked._ She tried to convince herself. Maybe Impa was right, maybe if she told herself that every day for twenty years she'd start to believe it. But she didn't think that was very likely, because some small part of her knew that Link would have accepted her. But, as they reached the gates which led out into the town, Sheik sighed.

Her adventure was over. It was time to lock that part of her in a dark room and throw away the key. She was going back to her old life. As a thief. Or maybe not. Somehow, the prospect of stealing from the rich and stupid didn't seem so fun anymore. Not as fun as spending an afternoon with Link. Or spending the rest of her life with him.

'So, this is it,' Impa said, turning to her. She placed her hands together, and Sheik felt a weight she hadn't even noticed lift off her shoulders. 'There. I've removed the spell on you, so at sunrise tomorrow you'll stay in your own body, and every sunrise after that.' She gave Sheik another quick hug. 'Good luck,' she said. Sheik nodded. That seemed to say everything that needed to be said, while at the same time leaving whole volumes unsaid.

'Goodbye,' Sheik said, turning towards the town and leaving the castle behind for the last time.

* * *

A/N: Feeling like a slightly terrible person for doing that to Sheik. And also Link. Ah well.


	14. Chapter 14: Epilogue

A/N: I'll make this quick so we can get on with the story. And yes, fear not those of you who reviewed (and thanks for that), there is still a little bit of story left. But first, thank you very much to everyone who reviewed and also who read this. Hope you liked it, and hope it brightened up your day a bit. Writing this and being told that it was actually alright certainly brightened up my day.

This is the last chapter, so it's goodbye from me and see you next time! Right, on with the show!

* * *

One morning a few days later, Sheik woke up early, and sighed. Another day of being alone. But there was something different about today. She wasn't sure what it was, but she could feel it. She sat up in bed, and frowned suddenly. Was it her imagination, or were there footsteps approaching her house? There were. She quickly struggled into her clothes, and raced to the door.

She flung it open, and only her quick reactions stopped her from screaming with joy. Link was running up the path towards her. Straight towards her. She ran out to meet him, but stopped a few feet away from him. What if he didn't know it was her? What if he was lost, or worse, what if he'd found out about all the lies she'd told him and was angry with her? But he didn't stop, and wrapped his arms around her when he reached her.

'Impa told me everything,' he whispered. 'I love you, Sheik. The wedding with Zelda is off. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and only you.'

'I love you too,' she whispered, unable to quite believe what she was hearing. 'But… are you sure?'

'I've never been more sure of anything in my life,' he said with a smile. 'And I hardly need to ask if you're sure. After all, didn't you tell me you fell in love with me the moment you saw me?' Sheik smiled, but it suddenly fell from her face.

'No,' she said in surprise, shaking her head. 'I didn't tell you that. I told _Impa_ that, but not you.'

'So? She told me,' Link said with a shrug. But Sheik shook her head. Then she raised her hand and, her heart sinking, she pinched herself. Nothing.

'This isn't real,' she said with a sigh. 'I've been dreaming of this every night for a week, ever since I left the castle. I should know by now that it's not real. But every night I fall for it, because every night I want it to be true.'

'It _is_ true,' Link insisted.

'No,' Sheik said, shaking her head as the world began to blur. 'It's not.'

* * *

Sheik woke up early that morning, feeling drained from her dream, and sighed. Another day of being alone. But there was something different about today. She wasn't sure what it was, but she could feel it. She sat up in bed, and frowned suddenly. Was it her imagination, or were there footsteps approaching her house? There were. She quickly struggled into her clothes, and raced to the door.

She flung it open, remembering her dream. Surely it couldn't come true, could it? She saw someone approaching, and squinted through the dust, trying to make out their face. She sighed. No. It couldn't come true. Because this was real life, not some fairytale. The mailman stopped outside her house in a cloud of dust, saluted, and handed her a letter. Then, without so much as a word of greeting, he turned around and ran back off again.

Sheik sighed again. It was stupid to hope that it was Link, she knew that. But she also knew that it wouldn't stop her. She glanced down at the letter, and opened it. She didn't recognised the neat handwriting, but then again there was only one person who even knew she existed, and who would bother to write to her. It had to be from Impa.

 _Dear Sheik,_

 _I hope the mailman finds you. He always seems to make it to the strangest places though, so I have faith in him. I thought you might like to know what's been happening since you left the castle. First things first: Zelda. It turns out she went away to the Gerudo Desert. And the reason she did that was, and I can't believe I'm writing this, to marry Ganondorf. The king of the Gerudo. Public enemy no. 1, as far as Hyrule is concerned. She married him._

Sheik paused her reading at this point to cackle with laughter. So there was no-one else, was there? And if there was someone else Impa would be the first to know about it, would she? Hah!

 _It turns out that they've been sneaking off to meet each other for a while now, to try to sort out the situation between our two kingdoms. Neither of them wants a war, but they weren't getting anywhere with their advisors, so they decided to sort it out between the two of them. And apparently, over time Zelda realised that actually she rather liked Ganondorf, and she would much prefer marrying him to Link, so she ran off to the desert to do just that._

 _Needless to say, I'm furious at her, as is everyone else. The castle is in uproar, but what's done is done and no-one can deny that diplomatically, it's worked out rather well. We won't have a war now. Ganondorf is staying in his own kingdom for the time being, because his presence in the kingdom wouldn't be appreciated right now, but Zelda has assured me that I'll get to meet him soon. I can barely contain my excitement._

Sheik smiled at the letter, silently wishing Ganondorf luck when he finally had to deal with the other Sheikah. So Zelda had disobeyed orders and married the love of her life, had she? Good for her. If only it was so easy for everyone else.

 _Naturally people are wondering how she managed to get to the Gerudo Desert, get married, and make it all the way back here without anyone noticing she was gone, but most people suspect teleportation was used, and obviously Zelda isn't saying anything. Don't worry, no-one suspects you. They don't even know you exist. In other news, Zelda took you up on your offer and that lawyer, Shad, is now one of her advisors. He's holding his own rather well, I must say._

 _And of course I suppose you're wondering what happened to Link. Well, now that Zelda's already married (and if you ask me she was unnecessarily gleeful when telling him that), he's got no business here, so he left Hyrule a few days ago. I would imagine he's back in Faron by now._

Sheik's breath caught in her throat. Link was gone. She hadn't even had a chance to say goodbye. It wasn't as though she could ever have seen Link again, even if he had stayed in Hyrule, but now there were all those extra miles between them. He felt so far away. Sheik stopped herself, closed her eyes, took a deep breath in and slowly let it out. She didn't think like that anymore. That part of her life was gone. She glanced back down at the letter, and saw a few more lines from Impa about the state of affairs at the castle.

… _and that's about it. I hope you're adapting to life in the real world again. You know, I never thought I'd say this, but I'm actually missing your snide comments. It's just not the same with Zelda. But it's better for everyone this way._

 _Do drop by if you're ever arrested._

 _Impa_

Sheik sighed, and tossed the letter away. She didn't want to think about Impa, or Zelda, because that would inevitably lead to thinking about Link. But a gust of wind caught the letter and flipped it over, and she saw something written on the back. She snatched the letter out of the air, and read it quickly.

 _P.S. That offer to join the Royal Guard is still open. I know you said no before, but you should think about it. Especially now that Link's gone. And besides, think how much it would annoy Zelda to see you back at the castle!_

Sheik stared at the words. She hadn't thought any more about Impa's offer since she had left the castle. If she was being honest, her total lack of desire to spend the rest of her life serving Zelda was only half the reason she didn't want to do it. The other half was the knowledge that she would be spending all day, every day, around Link. Not near him, not talking to him, but close enough to be painful.

She would have to watch him and Zelda together, happily (or unhappily) married. Maybe one day she would watch their children grow up, and know that they could have been her children, while spending the rest of her life alone. And every time Link looked at her, caught her eye across a crowded room, he would look away, because he had no idea who she was. He had told her he loved her, that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, he had almost kissed her and been prepared to marry her, and he literally didn't even know she existed. And doing that, being around Link, would have been too painful.

But now? Now, Link was gone. He'd probably never come back. True, Sheik would still have to put up with Zelda, but that would at least take her mind off Link. She sighed again. It was better than living as a criminal for the rest of her life. And at least she'd get to see Impa again. Maybe one day she'd even forget about Link. She went back into her house, to the small fireplace, and struck the pair of flints together until she had a small flame. She placed the letter on it, watching as the lines of fire crawled across the paper, burning away any mention of Link.

She watched it until it was a pile of ashes, then carefully put out the fire and went over to her small mirror. She braided her hair carefully, and reached for her bandages, preparing to cover her face again. But she paused. There was no need to do that now. She wasn't a criminal anymore. She smiled to herself, and let her braid hang down her back. She went over to the door, and stopped suddenly.

There was something different about today. She had known it as soon as she had woken up, but she hadn't been able to figure out what it was until now. On this day, ten years ago, she had woken up before dawn and seen her mother standing by the door, ready to leave her for the last time. She sighed. And now she was leaving this house for the last time. She hesitated in the doorway, and closed her eyes. She could almost see her mother as she left that day, fading further and further into the distance. But Sheik had understood. It was her duty, wasn't it? And, much though she would have liked to, she couldn't stand in the way of duty.

* * *

' _Why do you have to go?' Sheik asks, her voice muffled as she hugs her mother._

 _'Because it's my duty.'_

 _'Why, because you're a Sheikah? That's not fair!'_

 _'No, not just because I'm a Sheikah. Look at me,' the woman says, turning her daughter's head to face hers. 'When I was younger, I used to think that, just because I was a Sheikah, serving the Royal Family was automatically my duty, whether I wanted it to be or not. And I hated that. I was training in the Royal Guard, but I ran away, because I didn't want to spend my life there. And at first, when I ran away, I felt free. I became a thief, believe it or not, and I spent my days stealing from people. I enjoyed it too._

 _But after a while I started to tire of that. It wasn't fun anymore. It just didn't feel like it was what I was supposed to do with my life. I found myself starting to hope that it wasn't what I was supposed to do with my life. And at that point I thought about what it was that I_ really _wanted to do, and I realised that I wanted to do my duty as a Sheikah. Not serving the Royal Family, but serving their kingdom._

 _So I went back to my training, and I learnt to fight. And then I went off to fight monsters, and to protect Hyrule. And as soon as I did that, it was like coming home. I'd found my duty in life. And that's when I realised that duty isn't something that's placed on you from birth, by your parents or your heritage or anything else. It's something you choose, it's whatever you want to dedicate your life to. Yes, my duty turned out to be a Sheikah duty, but that's not because I was born as a Sheikah. It's because I chose to live as one. Do you understand that?' she asks, and Sheik nods._

* * *

Sheik sighed. Was this really her duty? Yes, she was choosing to join the Royal Guard, it wasn't being forced on her. But it didn't feel right somehow. She shook her head. It would feel right, eventually. She just had to give it time. Right now the only thing that felt right was the thought of being with Link, but that wasn't an option. So she was going to accept an alternative duty instead. She nodded to herself, satisfied, then closed the door of her house for a final time.

'Zelda?' Sheik turned out of habit, knowing even as she did so that it was a stupid thing to do, but she was too late to stop herself. But she didn't have to worry about answering to the wrong name, because as soon as she saw who had called out to her, her words died in her throat. _Link._

* * *

She stared at him. He was here. He was actually here, standing in front of her. She pinched herself and winced, but it quickly turned into a smile. This was real. _And he called you Zelda_ , her brain helpfully reminded her, and her smile faded again. _That's right. He doesn't know me. But then why is he here? Why did he confuse me with Zelda? What do I do?_ Her brain, despairing of the pathetic performance put on by her heart, wrested the controls away from it and urgently gave her new instructions.

'Um… Sorry, I thought you said my name,' she said, while her heart screamed at her to stop, before it was hurriedly swept into the corner by her brain.

'Apologies,' Link said, with a smug look that completely threw Sheik. _Wait, does he know who I am? He's giving me a look which says he does, but can I risk it? This is stupid. A few days ago I was practically throwing myself at him, ready to tell him the whole truth, and now I'm lying through my teeth?_ Another part of her brain was hurriedly rifling through the filing cabinet, and fished out a file from under L for Letter From Impa. The file was quickly scanned, and a memo placed in front of the main brain, which said: Impa said Link left days ago. Why isn't he back in Faron yet? It was a good question, Sheik had to admit. But she had more pressing problems.

'Are you going somewhere?' Link asked, still with that same smile which confused Sheik so much.

'Er… yeah, I'm off to join the Royal Guard, actually.'

'Really? I thought you said you could never spend your whole life serving someone else.'

'Yeah, well… It's my duty, I guess.' Sheik stared gloomily down at the ground. _Your duty is to spend the rest of your life with Link!_ her heart screamed at her. _It's what you want to do! You know that!_ She tried not to think like that. Link was probably already re-engaged to that Goddess-awful Ilia woman. He had probably just stopped by here on his way back to Faron. He had probably just happened to see her and wondered where she was going. He had probably- wait a minute, what was all this about "I thought you said"? She _had_ said that she couldn't spend her life serving someone else, that was true. But as far as Link was concerned, _Zelda_ had said that to him, not Sheik. She looked up at him, and suddenly his oh-so-smug smile made perfect sense. He'd laid down a trap, and she'd walked right into it.

'That took you a while,' Link commented, tilting his head on one side. 'I seem to remember you're smarter than that.'

'How did you know?' she asked, not even pretending that she didn't know him anymore.

'I thought Impa would have explained that. She did say she'd send you a letter.' Sheik shook her head, but filed the fact that Impa knew Link was coming to see her away under T for Things Impa Conveniently Forgot To Mention. That file was already bulging. 'Oh. Well, after what I can only assume was the real Zelda came back, I went to Impa and asked her how to find you.'

'How did you know there was a real and a fake Zelda?' Sheik asked. As far as she was concerned, her performance had been damn-near perfect. But Link seemed disinclined to agree.

'Well, there were a lot of little things. And some big ones, too.'

'Such as?' she challenged.

'How long do you have? You wanting to see my kingdom. Knowing how to use a sword, and almost beating me in a fight. You being nice to me, that was a big one. You know, if I hadn't known better, I would even have said you had a bit of a crush on me.' Sheik blushed. "A bit of a crush" didn't even come close to describing her feelings for Link, and the fact that he obviously knew that didn't make her blush any less.

'And there was the fact that you always ran off at sunset. That was what made me think that you were an imposter. Before, I just thought that you'd been hit on the head or something and that's why you were being nice to me, but when you started acting strangely around sunset, I knew something bigger was going on. And then there was our fight. That was when I knew for sure that you weren't Zelda.'

'And how could you possibly know that?' Sheik asked crossly. She wasn't enjoying hearing her amazing performance being picked apart one flaw at a time, even by Link.

'Because I knew who you really were. That trick you used, twisting my hand like that, there's only two people who could possibly know how to do that. Well, three, but I knew you weren't some big drunk guy I met in an alley. One of those two people is me, because I invented that trick. And the other-'

'That was _you_?' Sheik asked with a gasp. She thought back to her mysterious saviour in that alleyway. Yes, it could have been Link. She was almost sure she'd seen a flash of blonde hair before he'd run off.

'Yes. I was in Hyrule to see Zelda and I got bored of being ignored by her, so I snuck out into the town when my advisors weren't looking. I happened to see that guy following you into an alley and I thought I really ought to do something about it. Chivalry and all that. And even though I didn't stay long, I remembered you. So when you used my own trick against me, I was sure you were that girl I saved in the alley.'

'"Saved" is a bit strong,' Sheik muttered sulkily.

'And then there was that time when we had our one and only romantic evening together,' Link said with a smile. 'I thought everything was going great. I even thought I might get away with kissing you. But suddenly you just ran away. I was so surprised that I forgot I wasn't supposed to see you, so I took my blindfold off and I saw you as you ran away.'

'But if you knew for so long, why didn't you say anything?' Sheik asked. Link smiled, and started to walk towards her.

'Honestly? Because it was hilarious watching you try to act like Zelda, and fail miserably.' Sheik folded her arms and glared at him.

'Looks like Impa left out a lot in her letter, like you being a smug arse,' she said, looking away from him. But when she looked back, she gasped and swallowed hard. He was right in front of her.

'It seems like it,' he said with a gentle smile. 'And it seems like she also left out the bit where I'm in love with you.' Sheik's eyes widened. _This is what you want_ , her heart reminded her, nodding encouragingly. _Go for it!_ But it was confusing. She hadn't expected to meet Link like this. She hadn't expected him to know who she was. And she certainly hadn't expected a confession of love from him just at the point where she was about to go off and start her life without him. Say what you like about Link, he really did have timing.

'So I was wondering something,' Link whispered, his face heart-stoppingly close to hers. 'I was wondering if I could persuade you to reconsider joining the Royal Guards and spending the rest of your life serving Zelda.' Sheik swallowed. She started to mumble something about duty, but stopped herself. Her mother had told her that doing her duty felt like coming home. Did joining the Royal Guard feel like coming home? The hell it did. But did being with Link, even just now, even just for a minute or two, feel like coming home? It practically had a welcome mat outside it.

 _Is this really going to work?_ she asked herself. _I don't know. What if this is all a crazy dream? What if Link's been hit on the head, and he doesn't remember any of this in the morning?_ Link saw her confusion, and sighed. She knew this wasn't the time to be indecisive. She loved Link, she knew he did, and she knew that if she didn't do something now she would lose him. But she didn't feel capable of doing anything. Luckily for her, Link was perfectly capable of doing something, and that something was leaning forwards and kissing her.

* * *

Sheik blinked a few times when it was over.

'That was... enlightening,' she managed. The kiss had also done a marvellous job of making up her mind for her. 'You know what? I don't think the Royal Guard is really for me,' she said breathlessly. 'Too many early mornings, terrible pension plan, that sort of thing. So, I expect you want me to stay here, then?'

'Well, I wasn't thinking here exactly,' Link said, his grin broadening. 'I was thinking somewhere like… Faron, maybe.' Sheik's heart stopped.

'Like… actual Faron?'

'No, fake Faron. Of course I mean actual Faron! You did say you wanted to see it,' he told her.

'I did say that,' Sheik admitted, trying to get her brain back online. Unfortunately it had chosen this precise moment to take its two weeks annual leave, and for once in its life it had decided to put its differences aside and take her heart with it, leaving her all alone with no guidance from her internal organs. Guidance which she would have been very grateful for when she saw Link go down on one knee.

'Sheik-'

'Yes.'

'Sh-'

'Yes.'

'Will you let me finish?' Link asked, shaking his head ruefully.

'Yes,' Sheik said again. Her body had managed to draft in some emergency guidance, quite possibly involving her spleen, and whichever inexperienced body part was at the controls had found a piece of driftwood in the emotional sea it was being swept along in, and was clinging on grimly. When one was being proposed to by the love of one's life, it was felt, "yes" was definitely the way to go.

'Sheik, I know I haven't known you long. I mean, it's been about five minutes.'

'Yes.'

'Yes, it's been five minutes, or yes, you're accepting my proposal even though I haven't actually proposed yet?' Link asked with a smile. Sheik considered this.

'Yes.' That seemed to cover it. Link sighed, taking Sheik's hand.

'Sheik, even though I haven't known you long, I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else. In fact, I can't imagine spending my life without you at all.' Sheik was silent, because her mouth was suddenly almost painfully dry. _This is actually happening_ , she thought, stunned. 'So. Sheik, will you marry me?' Link stared up at her, waiting. 'This is the part where you say yes,' he said helpfully. 'You managed a minute ago. Several times, actually.'

Sheik opened her mouth, and croaked. She would have nodded if she could, but her neck felt as though it was suddenly encased in granite. Link was still waiting, and somewhere at the back of her mind was the knowledge that it was terribly rude to keep royalty waiting. But somewhere else in her mind was a previously undiscovered inner voice, which sounded suspiciously like Impa, and it was getting annoyed. _Pull yourself together!_ it told her. _Link - the man you are in love with, remember - is proposing to you! It's a simple yes/no question! Now just say yes already!_

'Yes,' Sheik whispered, sinking to her knees. Then, before common sense could get the better of her and tell her that this was just a crazy dream that she would wake up from at any moment, she wrapped her arms around Link's neck and kissed him passionately. Finally she had to let go, but only grudgingly. She and Link stared at each other for a moment, before he suddenly burst out laughing.

'What's so funny?' she asked, a flicker of dread running through her. This wasn't just a practical joke, right?

'Nothing,' Link replied, kissing her on the forehead. 'It's just… well, you really are the girl who pretended to be Zelda. No-one else could be quite as adorably awkward.' Sheik seriously considered punching him for that, but reasoned that she would have the rest of their lives together to do that. In the meantime, there were more pressing matters to be attended to. So instead she leaned forward and kissed him again.


End file.
